Vampire Diaries: Stefan in the S/E relationship (a question)

There are things about the Stefan/Elena relationship (especially regarding Stefan), that I don't really get (I mean... I have an understanding of the character that tracks with what I see on the show, but I don't see how to reconcile it with the apparent fannish perceptive of the relationship that I've run into), and I was hoping for perhaps some clarity from people on my flist.

( The main thing that I don't get. )

Vid: Addicted (The Vampire Diaries; Damon)

Song: Addicted
Artist: Kelly Clarkson
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Summary: The transformative power of love (Damon/Katherine; Damon/Elena).
(spoilers through 2x13 - "Daddy Issues"; contains violence, blood, sexuality)

On MegaUpload:
divx file 36.5 MB; zipped
divx file 14.9 MB; zipped

Feedback is always appreciated.

( stream )

It's like I can't breathe without you inside of me

( some thoughts )