Vampire Diaries: Stefan in the S/E relationship (a question)

[butterfly]

There are things about the Stefan/Elena relationship (especially regarding Stefan), that I don't really get (I mean... I have an understanding of the character that tracks with what I see on the show, but I don't see how to reconcile it with the apparent fannish perceptive of the relationship that I've run into), and I was hoping for perhaps some clarity from people on my flist.

The thing is, I like Stefan quite a bit. I've gone off the S/E relationship because it feels so wispy and thin to me, but I like both Stefan and Elena. I just don't understand the thing where their relationship is said to be about open communication. I haven't really seen that with them. I've seen Elena finding stuff out and then pushing Stefan to be honest (and Stefan did use the news of her adoption as a handy distraction when he had to confess his stalkerdom to her), but... not all that much open communication.

Is there something in the show that I'm missing? Because, to me, Stefan seems to have a pretty firm pattern of not sharing unless he absolutely has to share, especially if it's something that Elena would see as 'bad news' (or that he thinks Elena would see that way). I don't know. Maybe it's a fannish in-joke?

(this is not an 'in comparison with Damon/Elena' thing; this is an 'independent of all other factors, evaluating the S/E relationship on its own' thing)

Comments

[butterfly]

And I am not saying that Stefan and Elena aren't cute together or that they don't work, it's just that in the long run I don't see that a lack of disclosure can lead anywhere good. That is an issue they would have to seriously address.

Yeah. If they would deal with this issue (ON SCREEN), then I would feel probably 10x better about the Stefan/Elena relationship.

[scy]

Yes, that would make it clear where each of them stand, give some reasoning, and I'd have less reservations about all of it.