My rose-colored glasses are broken.

[butterfly]

Since my first episode up until near the end of First Date, I always had this faith in Buffy, the person. No matter what she was doing or what the show was putting her through, I had confidence in her better nature.

And that's what First Date ruined for me.

It's not a matter of her choosing Spike over Xander. She's always done that. It was choosing to comfort a superpowered person with a headbump over choosing to comfort a human with a stab wound. It was a moment that... crystallized something that I've been refusing to see for years about the Buffy character.

And now that that's happened, I see everything before it in a different light. I just rewatched The Killer in Me and it was a totally different experience. I couldn't work up any feelings for Buffy. I kept snarking on her bad hair. I...

Buffy's not my girl anymore.

I went through so much while watching Buffy and through it all, Buffy was my girl, my touchstone to make me feel better.

And that's gone.

And that is such a huge thing for me. I've always felt for her, even when I felt nothing for the guy she was with (she really does have the worst taste in men). But now I don't. And I don't like that.

I've loved her character for seven years.

Now, I still love the show, but I don't love the girl anymore. I don't know that girl anymore.

Comments

[girlfromsouth.livejournal.com]

Girl, I feel your pain. Oh, lord yes. I can't imagine why the writers are crapping all over Buffy's character this way, but it's SO irritating.

I don't recognize Buffy, *my* Buffy, the girl who stabbed her true love in the stomach with tears in her eyes and stood tall, in this person who completely ignores one of her best friends and their bleeding stomach wound to check on a clearly *not dusted* so therefore just fine, Spike.

I'm still kind of agog at it all.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Word. I mean, do they have any idea how this makes Buffy look? Giles is right. She's totally tunnel-vision girl. And I don't like tunnel-vision girl.

[girlfromsouth.livejournal.com]

Because part of Buffy's appeal is that she's All Heart Girl. She's NOT about tunnel vision. She's so full of love and compassion and concern for EVERYone, and everything. She's not this person that *would* put Spike about everything, no matter if/how/much/she loved him because she's not like that. She's always been big picture girl. She killed Angel, stabbed Faith, let Angel go, killed *herself*, fought her best friend.... now she's just letting Spike be dechipped when she *knows* he's dangerous... and ignoring everything for her own interests/feelings.

This is not my Buffy, dammit!

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Exactly! She's not my Buffy anymore! She's a Buffy!bot with its personality on the fritz.

[girlfromsouth.livejournal.com]

And the thing that makes me sad? Is that I get the feeling that the writers? Think *nothing* is wrong with Buffy. That she should be acting like this. Because when she's helping Spike and ignorning poor Xander? They share touchy, deep look moments with soulful music in the background. Giles' point of view? Is ignored and snarked at by Buffy. Giles is made out to look old and doddering and "lets not have any fun!".

I'm very very angry at this show right now, and it makes me blech inside.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm getting that feeling too. I hope that I'm wrong... I'm actually thinking of going spoiler for BtVS, so that I can know. I've never intentionally spoiled myself for Buffy!

[girlfromsouth.livejournal.com]

It's really sad, I fell off the spoiler free wagon quite awhile ago for this very reason.

Glass half full

[jic]

Maybe they'll do something with her like they did with Will.... Steadily get "worse" until some event fucks it all over and she sees what she's doing to herself and her friends and decides to change.

Re: Glass half full

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Maybe. But even then. I've never lost faith in Buffy before. Not when she was ignoring her friends in Season Four. Not when she was 'all about Dawn' in Season Five. Not when she was fucking Spike in Season Six. Never.

Not until First Date. It's such a jarring feeling.