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Because, hey, everyone needs somebody to love them.
Also, I'm still not seeing the blondeness. Her hair is certainly lighter than someone else's, but that doesn't mean that it's blonde. I'd say light brown. But that's what I call my own hair color, which my mom has argued is blonde.
Shockingly enough (not), I can't sleep. Usually can't after crying.
Not sure what to work on.
Like I said earlier, everything I do now feels like it's going to be the wrong thing. It can take a while for that to work out of my system.
Though it will. It took a fucking long time for me to build up my feelings of self-worth and I'm not going to let someone else's view of me knock them back down.
When bad things happen, I close off, back away, and do the polite thing while burying my feelings. This is probably unhealthy. Hence the over-share today.
I don't get mad at people. Never found it too productive. And I generally only take off the overly-polite mask when I know people well - like Benton Fraser does, to use a fictional example.
I only argue with family. They're the only ones that I trust not to leave if I get mad once in a while.
To go back to talking about the rpg, in a very real way, Alexis and Aly are both me in different outfits. What I do with them... everything that I have written in the rpg has come from my heart and my muse. And I don't regret thinking it or writing it. I regret posting it in the wrong forum, but I still don't think that the subject matter is out of line in fiction. I don't think that any subject is out of line in fiction as long as you treat it respectfully.
But I do understand that not all people feel that way.
Also, I'm still not seeing the blondeness. Her hair is certainly lighter than someone else's, but that doesn't mean that it's blonde. I'd say light brown. But that's what I call my own hair color, which my mom has argued is blonde.
Shockingly enough (not), I can't sleep. Usually can't after crying.
Not sure what to work on.
Like I said earlier, everything I do now feels like it's going to be the wrong thing. It can take a while for that to work out of my system.
Though it will. It took a fucking long time for me to build up my feelings of self-worth and I'm not going to let someone else's view of me knock them back down.
When bad things happen, I close off, back away, and do the polite thing while burying my feelings. This is probably unhealthy. Hence the over-share today.
I don't get mad at people. Never found it too productive. And I generally only take off the overly-polite mask when I know people well - like Benton Fraser does, to use a fictional example.
I only argue with family. They're the only ones that I trust not to leave if I get mad once in a while.
To go back to talking about the rpg, in a very real way, Alexis and Aly are both me in different outfits. What I do with them... everything that I have written in the rpg has come from my heart and my muse. And I don't regret thinking it or writing it. I regret posting it in the wrong forum, but I still don't think that the subject matter is out of line in fiction. I don't think that any subject is out of line in fiction as long as you treat it respectfully.
But I do understand that not all people feel that way.
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2003-10-03 07:51 am (UTC)Thank you. And it's in one of the side journals - glosseth. It's here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/glosseth/13636.html).
But yeah, for some people (and I'm not saying this is the case for the person in question), fiction is emotion is reality. Which is valid, but means that we're working on two totally different wave lengths.
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2003-10-03 08:01 am (UTC)Thank you.
You're welcome, seriously.
And it's in one of the side journals - glosseth. It's here.
Thanks. I will read it, but late at night is not good for me to read stuff like that, I've found - I'll definitely go there tomorrow and look at it, though.
But yeah, for some people (and I'm not saying this is the case for the person in question), fiction is emotion is reality. Which is valid, but means that we're working on two totally different wave lengths.
I understand that, but yeah, it's a wavelength I don't ever completely understand. I certainly do engage emotionally with texts, of all kinds (there's a song on the David Bowie CD I'm currently listening to that's brought me to tears twice tonight, for example) but I still know it's fiction, even though it engages me that much. I think it's different for everyone, though.
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2003-10-03 08:35 am (UTC)Right, I mean, Moulin Rouge can make me cry 'til the sun goes down - doesn't make it any less fiction. But for some people, the distinction isn't so very clear and I can respect that. Not entirely certain that I understand it, but I respect it.