in media res -- Not Fade Away (character talk)

[butterfly]

You never know what shape the story will take until the end. You can guess, but until it's all over and the story is finished, it's impossible to be certain.

Once somebody said, I don't remember who and, hell, it could even have been me -- once somebody said that Buffy was about faith and Angel was about hope.

Angel has always had an element of uncertainty, an appealing unstability that Buffy lacks. Angel is about balancing on the knife's edge every single day and always being able to feel the blade pressing against your skin.

Buffy ended at the end of a fight, with the beginning of a new future -- Buffy continues on an open road, changing the world.

Angel ended in the middle of a fight, in the middle of the night -- Angel continues into an alley, fighting to make each moment something to remember.

Lindsey died and I gasped, but I wasn't surprised at the manner of his death. Lindsey was always an afterthought to Angel. Lindsey wouldn't have wanted anyone to kill Angel but himself, but Angel is willing to delegate Lindsey's death. That fits with their relationship. Lindsey died and the only person mourning him almost certainly died when the Wolfram and Hart building fell. He had to die -- Angel signed away the shanshu and Lindsey has always been entangled in that. Destiny falls.

Lorne left, but he was never a part of the group in the same way the rest of them were -- he wasn't, as he pointed out, a fighter. Lorne was willing to kill for Angel and then it was over. Lorne was the only person that Angel could have given that job to, but giving him that job broke him. "This is what we do now." And Lorne doesn't want to live in that kind of violence. That's why he left Pylea. Knowledge kills destiny and abandons ship. Hope lives in the space past knowledge, past what can be read.

Harmony survived and I'm not shocked. She is, above all else, a survivor. And Angel knew what she was every single day that he didn't kill her. He always knew. He planned for it -- he had no reason to curse her sudden yet inevitable betrayal. She's the soulless vampire. Angel lives at the end, Angelus lives, and so does she.

Connor lives and I'm exceedingly happy about that. Once, I called him the embodiment of Angel's hope. I still think of him that way. Angel's hope lives. As long as Connor survives, as long as hope survives, Angel's death will be worthy.

Gunn has perhaps ten minutes to live at the end of the show, by Illyria's reckoning. I trust her judgement in this situation. He was the one to wonder where Wesley was. Gunn is about to die, as the show closes, yet he fights to make the moment worth remembering. Mission is alive for the moment but carries a mortal wound.

Illyria is Fred is emotion. Is grief and violence. She lives, she fights, she mourns. She is the inhumanity that loves. Emotion lives to continue fighting, but transformed and sorrowful and inrevokably changed by the fighting and the pain of the past years.

Spike also joins in the final fight, the twin souled vampire. All of the survivors are there because they survive in Angel. Because they chose to stay with him and he chose to keep them. Spike is, of course, the soul -- the goldfish.

Wesley died (there was weeping). But I wasn't surprised at the manner of his death. Wesley is so very complicated. Call him mind, that is not enough. Call him mission and that is not accurate. Someone called him Angel's humanity (TBQ?). This is something that I can agree to. So, like Lindsey, he had to die, because Angel signed away all hope of gaining his humanity. Angel can't remember being human anymore.

Oh, Angel.

Would-be Slayer of Dragons.

Angel, I have loved.

Comments

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

He really was a big damn hero there at the end. I have never loved him more than when he claimed dibs on the dragon.

That's my boy.

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. It was the best of both Angel and Angelus... You're going to go down, but you'll go down fighting and with a big shit eating grin on your face.

God do I love my dead gay show.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

He finally accepted himself. So long and he finally accepted all of himself. I love that being a vampire is what let him kill Hamilton. So much. And he just uses it and he's and then... and the end...

*sniffles*

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

I totally feel your pain. Being in the college net lab is the only thing keeping me from sobbing my eyes out right now.

Also? You icon is very, very nice. I think I'll just stare at it for a while.

(And also-also? I friended you. People who do intellegent commentary is a big thing of mine)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Naked Angel is a balm to weary eyes.

(and thank you. I've very flattered.)