Thank you, everyone who has comforted me in the past couple of days. I'll... have more personal thank-yous later. It's still too close, right now.
The new icon is by depressionsgurl.
So, I went out on Sunday to see Rent again. Needed to clear my head, and the best thing for that is a dose of something musically wonderful (afterwards, I curled up and watched most of Singing in the Rain, which is sometimes my favorite musical in the world... it's so hard to pick).
It did really help my mood. I went in pissed off and upset, and came out much steadier. Not entirely, hence the home dosing of SitR, but much better than I'd started out. Though some sad things certainly do happen in the movie, the feelings the movie leaves me with are ones of hope for the future and the desire to truly appreciate what I do have.
I love having the movie. Because I don't have a terrific memory. I saw Rent twice in theaters, and I remember really loving it, but the details of the performances just aren't there in my head. Having a movie means being able to rewatch as often as I can (well, when it comes out on dvd), giving me to the chance to fix the things that I love most into my memory.
( Spoilers for the movie and play. )
The movie satisfied me, even more the second time through. I'm probably not going to be seeing it in theaters again (though I've ordered the movie soundtrack), but I'm looking forward to adding it to my dvd collection.