Doctor Who: favorite things

[butterfly]

If I were going to pick a favorite two-parter of the New Who, it would definitely be The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit. If I could only pick one episode as my favorite, it would be Dalek (though Father's Day is close).

I'm not a big fan of believing that the author's always right, but I do love the DW Confidentials. The actors and crew members say such lovely things. As early as the Confidential for Aliens in London, we have Christopher Eccleston saying, "Rose is the Doctor's equal in every way apart from, possibly, his scientific knowledge."

This is a case where I really do feel that the creators' intentions flowed from the screen. The character things they mention in the Confidential are all things that I got from the show, but it's kinda neat that I do, for the most part, feel so in sync with the creators. They say something, and I say, "Yeah, exactly."

So, I love the way the makers of the show love the show.

I love the Doctor/Rose storyline. Bits of it absolutely kill me and break my heart, but I love that in a good bit of fiction. They had passion and respect and friendship and love. Equality. The Doctor looked at Rose Tyler and was astonished at how much like him she was -- her grins in the face of danger, her way of easing tensions, her compassion and her courage. I love seeing them fall in love in season one and love seeing them be in love in season two. And now the Doctor understands what everyone feels after meeting him. He's now the one who's experienced splendor and lost it. The Doctor is my emotional anchor in season three, when all through the first two seasons, it was Rose.

The Doctor found something, someone, that he believed in. He found a greater truth, in his love for Rose Tyler. He found that person worth breaking his hearts over, a million times over. And he lost her, and it did break his hearts and we're seeing the aftermath. The Doctor is vulnerable this season, vulnerable in a different way than he was when he had Rose.

If the places the TARDIS goes (in this New Who) are reflective of the Doctor's mindset (and from the evidence, I think that's a strong argument), then the Doctor is in bad shape. There's still hope, which gives me comfort, but he's downright suicidal at times, reminiscent of, "I could very well die in the process... but don't worry about me, go on, have your lovely beans on toast," and "Maybe it's about time," but so much angrier. He had his moments of coldness and anger in S2, but it's more than moments in this new season.

I love that he has such a depth of emotion, but I hate to see him in pain. It's a near impossible balance to walk, but David Tennant is more than pulling it off for me. He's breaking my heart and I'm loving him for it.

Comments

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

But now during these moments, I'm seeing the Doctor alone (he's just not letting Martha get that close) and really despairing. Yeah, RTD said that the theme of Gridlock (or was it the whole series) is hope, but I haven't seen *the Doctor* being shown hope yet.

I really do have more of a willingness to watch despair and anguish than most of the people that I know. The first season, I was watching the blossoming flower of new love, then we had the giddy adoration in season two, and now there's the fall. A lot of people really don't like watching the fall. Personal choice, personal feelings.

I know that (and I'm about to get personal here) a great of my willingness to watch that sort of thing is because I know misery and depression very intimately. I suffered from clinical depression in high school -- I almost didn't graduate and to this day, I haven't managed to finish a college course. And the year before it all happened, I got straight A's. And while there were many reasons for my crash, one of the major ones was the loss of someone that I loved very much. My aunt. The person that was my shelter and safe place -- the person who made me want to do well. Losing her permanently damaged my williness to be in a school setting. I just didn't care anymore.

Seeing fictional character go to that place helps me. Especially if they pull out of it (like in Buffy the Vampire Slayer), but even if they don't. Because I've had a lot of people in my life tell me that I should be able to just be happy. And it doesn't work that way, yeah? I've had to work really hard to be happy again. And I'm not happy in the same way I was back then. I'll never be that girl again. I can only be a new person, happy in a new way.

I can understand the Doctor not being ready to embrace hope just yet. Part of him doesn't want to be happy, because he knows how fleeting and painful it is. Everything he said in School Reunion, amplified by the loss of this person who managed to wriggle in and become his home. But I think that the show is showing us that hope exists -- in Martha, in the words of the Face of Boe, for Tallulah and Laszlo, in the way that Dalek Sec changed. The Doctor isn't ready yet, but the universe will be there for him when he is. The worlds will keep turning and people (human, aliens, etc) will keep on being brave and clever and lovely. He's shown sparks of seeing that already, he just doesn't want to admit it.

He's in this very dark place, which only seems to make the horrors of the show even darker for me.

*nods*

I agree completely. And darkness is very hard for a lot of people to watch (for good reason!). That's not a bad thing. Preferring life and joy to despair makes a great deal of sense.

Watching well-done grief is painful. There's a reason that Moulin Rouge was a film that most people either adored or completely hated, because that movie just wallows in quick shifts between blinding joy and terrible heartbreak (I adore it, my roommate hates it). Grief and despair are hard to watch.

But, and I'm going back to Sarah Jane again, she said, "Pain and loss - they define us as much as happiness or love. Whether it's a world, or a relationship... everything has its time. And everything ends."

Basically, when I look at the Doctor this season, I see something very familiar to me. I can identify with him this season, where it was always much more of an effort before.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

A lot of people really don't like watching the fall.

Yeah, that's me right there. I want my fun sci-fi show back!

I know that (and I'm about to get personal here) a great of my willingness to watch that sort of thing is because I know misery and depression very intimately.

I'm sorry that all happened to you. :(

Because I've had a lot of people in my life tell me that I should be able to just be happy. And it doesn't work that way, yeah?

Yeah, like you've just got some sort of switch you can flip. Oy.

But I think that the show is showing us that hope exists -- in Martha, in the words of the Face of Boe, for Tallulah and Laszlo, in the way that Dalek Sec changed. The Doctor isn't ready yet, but the universe will be there for him when he is.

I think for me, I'm going to need to see something more personal for him, instead of hope through other people. His pain and loss is so at the core of who he is - the Time War and Rose - that I really want to see hope that directly relates to him. And soon.

Basically, when I look at the Doctor this season, I see something very familiar to me. I can identify with him this season, where it was always much more of an effort before.

And for me, the more he goes down this path, the more distant he becomes to me.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's me right there. I want my fun sci-fi show back!

And, you know, completely valid. I have a friend who doesn't watch Battlestar Galactica simply because it's too bleak for her.

I'm sorry that all happened to you. :(

Thank you.

I think for me, I'm going to need to see something more personal for him, instead of hope through other people. His pain and loss is so at the core of who he is - the Time War and Rose - that I really want to see hope that directly relates to him. And soon.

If he'd managed to fix the Daleks, to heal them, that would have been that kind of personal hope. Sadly, they were the Daleks, so that one was kinda unwinnable.

And for me, the more he goes down this path, the more distant he becomes to me.

Understandable. BtVS lost a lot of people when it went dark in S6. Selfishly, I do hope that he heals quickly enough for you to keep loving the show. You point out some really nifty things.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

And, you know, completely valid. I have a friend who doesn't watch Battlestar Galactica simply because it's too bleak for her.

And it's strange, because I can *totally* watch BSG. You know, I think it might be because I'm not really emotionally invested in any of the characters on that show. It's more like watching a fish tank. Or something.

But with DW, I'm finding myself really caring about the characters. And so while I can somewhat understand the mindset of the Doctor in where he is in his head, it's painful to watch. I mean, actually painful.

Selfishly, I do hope that he heals quickly enough for you to keep loving the show. You point out some really nifty things.

Well, thanks. :) I'm kinda thinking that if it keeps going down this path, I might be better off just dropping it for a while. Just so I don't get into this bitter place with it. However, I'm not sure I'd be able to. I'm quite Pavlovian when it comes to Doctor Who. :D

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

However, I'm not sure I'd be able to.

Oh, who am I kidding? That will really never happen. *crosses fingers for some Doctor hope soon - Time Lords, Rose, long-lost son, ANYTHING*

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Well, thanks. :) I'm kinda thinking that if it keeps going down this path, I might be better off just dropping it for a while. Just so I don't get into this bitter place with it. However, I'm not sure I'd be able to. I'm quite Pavlovian when it comes to Doctor Who. :D

Bitterness is never fun (well, not for me. There's people who seem to enjoy it, but I can't quite understand that). I stopped watching Dawson's Creek after Joey and Pacey broke up, because I just couldn't stand the unhealthiness of Dawson and Joey (should I disclaimer that I was in high school when the show aired?). Luckily, that all turned for the best.

I'm hoping that DW will go the same way. Because the more S3 I see, the more it's clear just how much the Doctor misses and loves Rose. His ache isn't fading.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping that DW will go the same way. Because the more S3 I see, the more it's clear just how much the Doctor misses and loves Rose. His ache isn't fading.

Yeah. :(