Body Image

[butterfly]

Hell, everyone else is doing it.

I'm a size 18, on average. I've always pretty much had the same proportion of body fat that I have now. I weigh around 280 pounds on a 5'6-ish frame. I have big shoulders and big hips. I have (relatively)short legs and a (relatively)long torso.

I've hated the way that I've looked for around five years and I'm only now getting over that self-hate.

But right now, I'm finally seeing that 'I' can be pretty. Which is a nice feeling, though still a rare one.

I could never be a size 2. Hell, I'd have to have ribs removed to do that. Even if I did that and spent all my time exercising, I probably wouldn't be that small.

Britney Spears may not be unhealthy, but having people hold her up as the 'ideal woman' is. I could never have a body like hers. I could, however, kill myself trying. People have killed themselves trying to fit into that mold.

Women's magazine still contain so many pictures of thinthin women. I've heard people call Amber Benson, who is fucking gorgeous and a size 6 for christ's sake, a 'whale'. James Cameron reportedly insulted Kate Winslet's weight when she was starring in Titanic.

Our society is pretty fucking sick. There are people who believe that if you weigh over 135, then you're ugly.

The first thing that many men, Chris Kirkpatrick included, want in a woman is that she be 'cute and take care of herself'.

Face-value, I fit that definition. In the view of society, because I'm a size 18, I automatically cannot be 'taking care of myself'.

"Short of changing our culture, what can we do to fix things?"

"Changing our culture is the only way we can fix things."

Comments

[powrhug.livejournal.com]

Now see? You said everything I was going to, only better.

So all I'll say is "amen sistah" and leave it at that.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

But yeah, I was seeing two sides of the body image thing represented, but thought that maybe this was a view that I haven't quite seen elsewhere.

No, Britney isn't a fault. She's not even a 'tool'. She's a product of our society. As are all pretty much all of the models and actors working today.

Sarah Michelle Gellar, though. She has potential. And integrity. I like her. She's said some great things about image.

[sonneta.livejournal.com]

I don't know. It seems like SMG has caved in to the thin image as well.. have you seen 6th season Buffy? She looks anorexic.

But, amen on the rest of it. We shouldn't be made to feel obese because we are normal.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

She's a thin girl. She was at her thinnest in season five, really.

But SMG's just tiny. Tinytiny. I don't think that she's unhealthy, though. Just tiny.

[jupiterrings.livejournal.com]

Just out of curiosity, what has SMG said about body image?

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Fuck... now I have to find it.

*time passes*

"How can women be as thin as we are? We have personal trainers to work us out. We have specially prepared meals."

Was the quote I had in mind, but she's said other things too. But... cannot find them at the moment.

[coolbandchick.livejournal.com]

Rock on!

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Fighting the Man!

[saava.livejournal.com]

Our society really sucks. Have you ever walked by a store that has a sign saying "We now offer size 0"? I couldn't get, like, one leg in the waist of those jeans, and I'm a size 5. It's almost impossible to be a woman today and *not* have some kind of body image issue.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Word.

But we can't just sit around and say that it sucks.

That's something that I've been thinking about more and more.

This is the way our society is.

But we can change it.

One person can make a difference. It happens all the time.

[saava.livejournal.com]

I'm not so good with the actual action. I tend to hide in my house and pretend society doesn't exists. Cause, central Minnesota? Just UGH.

So, last week, my coworkers and I all dressed up really fancy because our boss hates casual day, and it was a nice surprise for him. I work at a courthouse, and my boss is a court administrator who sometimes performs weddings. So we all changed into our dress clothes while he was gone. I overheard this:

Coworker One: Is the wedding in the jail? Another in-custody?
Coworker Two: No, but the couple wasn't caucasian.

And I realize this has nothing to do with body image, so I'll just shut up now and ask:

What do you suggest we do to make a difference in people's attitudes?

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

And that's the rub. The tough part isn't saying you need to act, it's figuring out what action to take.

Ideas?

[afterthefair.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing that. I feel like people say "feel great about yourself" all the time, and it's true that that's most important. But it doesn't absolve society of its problems. I'm a size 18/20, and I think I'm damn hot, but that doesn't keep me from experiencing all the bad treatment that society puts big women through.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Very true.

And the worst part of it for me is how much of that bad treatment comes from family.

[beckynicky.livejournal.com]

Those Chris comments killed me and not in the uterus melting way he normally kills. I want to ask him if he wasn't raised by woman and doesn't he have four sisters. Doesn't he know what that kind of shit does to girls?

And no Britney isn't the problem. The society that makes her what a woman should be and exaults her for looking good naked is the problem.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I know. I was really disappointed in Chris. I thought he knew better.

*sighs*

[sugarhigh9104.livejournal.com]

Britney Spears may not be unhealthy, but having people hold her up as the 'ideal woman' is. I could never have a body like hers. I could, however, kill myself trying. People have killed themselves trying to fit into that mold.

And this is what i want to shout from the rooftops. It's just NOT. POSSIBLE. for me to look like Britney. My hips are too big. My legs are too short. Some girls just DON'T understand this. No amount of dieting and exercise can change your body structure. But you're right, people kill themselves trying. It just makes me want to burst into tears. But i won't. I'll agree with you that what we need is CHANGE. Action.

Anastasia

ps James Cameron reportedly insulted Kate Winslet's weight when she was starring in Titanic.

and have you seen her lately? she's lost alot of weight.

::shakes head::

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I know. She has. That's the saddest part. That that kind of blatant attack works.

[reesescups.livejournal.com]

Exactly! This is what I wanted to say. I'll never be a size 2. It's not in my genetic makeup. I'd have to take out more than a couple of ribs. Something I was also going to say is that we don't have the six hours a day like Britney set aside to exercise and I don't have any specialized diets like most celebrities. I'm pretty damn cute too! Society just doesn't know it and would rather not acknowledge it.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Word. It's just not possible for a lot of people can't be that thin.

*sighs*

[beckalina.livejournal.com]

I've struggled with my body image for years. The weight on my license? Yes, forty pounds less than I actually weigh. I lost weight for awhile and went down a size, and I looked great. But that was a year and a half ago and now I'm right where I was when I started.

However. People look at me and have no idea that I way as much as I do. I used to wear all baggy clothes to hide myself, and since the summer before my senior year, I've been wearing fitted tees and shit like that, and I actually look good and feel. I guess confidence really is sexy.

Yeah, I still have days where I feel like a whale. I hate trying on clothes, but I'm trying to make myself happier with my body, and when that works, it's great.

In parting, I was working the other night and some girls were in the store. They were talking about how they wanted to get their navels pierced but were too "fat." I mentioned that I was going to get mine done when I lost weight, it was my incentive to diet. And of them said that I shouldn't worry about dieting, because it didn't matter. She said, "Just say to yourself, 'I'm thick, but I'm sexy.' It works!"

[beckalina.livejournal.com]

way as much as I do

Weigh. I'm an idiot.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Heh. I think that my DL says that I weigh 150 lbs. It also says that I'm 5'4", though. Hee.

And yeah. My happiness with my looks is still a work in progress.

[therisingmoon.livejournal.com]

That is so wrong the way people think. I subscribe to both Seventeen and YM and to be frank I am sick of the way they prtray their models. I don't look at them, just the clothes, but I would like it if they had more plus sized models or tall models or short models or even more ethnic models, then they can live up to the claim that they are real girls magazines. I am a size 13-15 (170-180) on a 5'6-7" frame and I can't seem to find the perfect clothes or the perfect size 9 shoes for me because all the styles I like are in size 8s and size 7 shoes.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Word. We need show the full spectrum of beauty.

[eternaltimtams.livejournal.com]

Nothing more I can add than a big "Word" and an enthusiastic nodding of my head. I've joined your community, because I think it's a fantastic idea.

Oh, and Real Gorgeous by Kaz Cooke (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0393313557/qid=1020165522/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_67_1/002-1427820-6610469) is the best book ever for dealing with body image. It helped me no end.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Ooo. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll check it out.