Men With Brooms

[butterfly]

Seriously, the man is so... dense.

Conversation between Chris and Julie (the chick he left at the altar). The 'he' in question is Julie's dad and Chris' coach, who just died, was cremated, and his ashes placed under the handle of a curling rock.

Chris: "He loved you."
Julie: "Did you?"
Chris: "Yeah. I loved him."
Julie: "And me?"
Chris: "Of course you loved him."
Julie: "Did you?"
Chris: "Love him?"
Julie: "No."
Chris: "Who?"
Julie: "Me."
Chris: "You?"
Julie: "Yes, me. You moron, did you love me?"
Chris: "Yeah, I did."

Another conversation, this one between Chris and Amy (the sister of Julie, who loves Chris), with asides from Chris' father, who is lying in pain on a thing in the pool. Amy is a physical therapist.

Chris: "Amy!"
Amy: "Your father's a suck hole."
Chris: "No argument there. Listen, I need some advice."
Amy: "About what."
Chris: "About your sister."
Amy: "Jesus wept."
Chris: "What? Come on, you're a woman."
Amy: "Oh! You noticed."
Chris' father: "Oh, she may look like a woman. All those curves and swirls... everything suggests she's a woman but you get caught for two seconds in her clutches and you will come to know she is the Spawn of Satan!"
Chris: (to his dad) "Do you mind?"
Chris: (to Amy) "Look, I'm just wondering if she said anything about me, that's all."
Amy: "I'm not doing this, Cutter."
Chris: "Doing what?"
Amy: "This."
Chris: "What?"
Amy: "It was almost bearable when I was your drinking buddy, but I am not your drinking buddy and I am not your go-between and if you have something to ask my sister, go fuck her. I mean, talk to her. Just... just go."
Amy: (to Chris' dad) "Your son's a creep."
Chris' father: "No argument there."

On a different note, Linda, the wife of Neal, just cracks me up.
"There are straws and there are camels and there are backs."