Mostly just a ramble...
Feb. 10th, 2003 10:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyI haven't been around much lately.
Many reasons for this.
I'm trying to figure out what's going to happen next in my life. I have one maybe baby-sitting job and that's about it. I'm seriously lacking in money and motivation.
So I'm trying to figure out how to get motivated.
Because I've never really had to.
People do things for me. Or not and I survive anyway.
I've never had to actually work to be happy or un. It just...
*waves hands*
Happens. Like magic.
People always used to tell me about all my talent and potential. Still do, sometimes.
Teachers always liked me, in school. Partially, probably, because for all my not doing things, I did care about the things that I wasn't doing.
Sometimes I wonder if I stole my brother's position in the family. He used to be the one that everyone worried about. Then he found his thing and he... suddenly turned into a flower. And then I started being all depressed and skipping school and not doing my homework.
Another thing that kept me away is spending time with my dad. I've been going over nearly every weekend. This is a good thing. It's nice to spend time with him. I'm glad that I don't, you know, hate him with a firey passion anymore.
I also haven't been writing. I can't get inspired. And I know that the best way to write is to just write but my mind goes blank and annoying whenever I try.
Very annoying.
Many reasons for this.
I'm trying to figure out what's going to happen next in my life. I have one maybe baby-sitting job and that's about it. I'm seriously lacking in money and motivation.
So I'm trying to figure out how to get motivated.
Because I've never really had to.
People do things for me. Or not and I survive anyway.
I've never had to actually work to be happy or un. It just...
*waves hands*
Happens. Like magic.
People always used to tell me about all my talent and potential. Still do, sometimes.
Teachers always liked me, in school. Partially, probably, because for all my not doing things, I did care about the things that I wasn't doing.
Sometimes I wonder if I stole my brother's position in the family. He used to be the one that everyone worried about. Then he found his thing and he... suddenly turned into a flower. And then I started being all depressed and skipping school and not doing my homework.
Another thing that kept me away is spending time with my dad. I've been going over nearly every weekend. This is a good thing. It's nice to spend time with him. I'm glad that I don't, you know, hate him with a firey passion anymore.
I also haven't been writing. I can't get inspired. And I know that the best way to write is to just write but my mind goes blank and annoying whenever I try.
Very annoying.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-11 12:27 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-02-11 02:43 pm (UTC)That's a very cute emoticon.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-11 12:14 pm (UTC)and when ever I want to do something else like write,read,draw,
act,or even(just plain party) I can't focus on the situation at hand. My mind tends to wonder. you can do one of two things
1. Focus on the situation at hand, and ignore the thing thats bothering you ( some times causing the thing thats bothering you to get worse)!
2. Solve the problem by facing it.Getting it out of your way
and allowing you to have full control over what you want to do.
I hope my advise helps.
Re:
Date: 2003-02-11 02:44 pm (UTC)