due South drabble

[butterfly]

Again, too late to be posted in the challenge postings. The challenge was to have someone(s) watching someone(s) else. The other person(s) can or can't know he/she/they are being watched. And this would be my first due South fic ever. Exactly 100 words.

Black and Gold

I caught this morning morning's minion...

Though he might not have believed it anymore, she does have a moral compass. She knows right from wrong.

She just doesn't care. Not when it comes to passion or survival.

Or pride.

Before this moment, she'd have said that Ben would never forget her. She'd never considered any other possibility.

But there were candles in window and they weren't for her.

Victoria edged closer to the window, absently mouthing the familiar words.

Fall, gall themselves, and gash gold-vermillion.

There were candles in the window and Ben wasn't alone.

That had to be fixed.

Comments

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

I was checking out the "friends" of ds_flashfiction, and found THIS!

Too bad you missed the challenge timeframe -- but I'm glad you posted anyway, because this was wonderful. I got a really creepy voyeur-vibe, and the lines you chose, interspersed with the text where they were, added a lot of texture to the scene.

A really nice peek into Victoria's mind:

She just doesn't care. Not when it comes to passion or survival.

Or pride.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I've actually wanted to write about Vicky since I saw Victoria's Secret. She's very screwed up.

And while I was writing it, I chose to leave out asny physical descriptions of who Ben was with (though in my head, it's always Ray Kowalski), because Victoria doesn't care. It's not her, that's all that matters.

Thank you. I'm really glad that you liked it.

[afrai.livejournal.com]

Oh, marvellous. I love the imagery in this, and Victoria's POV is just creepy, yo.

I am also very grateful that you left out any description of who Fraser's with, although I would've loved it just as much even if it was Ray Kowalski. :)

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm really glad that you liked it. Victoria is a creepy chick. She really is. I mean, I wonder what she was like before the prison stint. Was she like that before or was it the jail time that did that to her? I find her fascinating, really.

And yeah, I thought about trying to work in the who Fraser's with, but it didn't work. Because Victoria didn't care. I'd try to put in a hint and she'd go, "Does it matter? He won't be with whoever it is for long." Forceful lady.

[ride_4ever]

Eeek! That thoroughly creeped me out! Spot-on Victoria voice.