Connor and Spike: Beneath You/Peace Out

[butterfly]

Having rewatched Beneath You, I feel prepared to rewrite my compare/contrast. Or rather, to post this as an extension. I'm going to leave up my other essay, since it was written out of memory, in the moment, and was wholly for Connor, even though it mentioned Spike quite a bit.

This one should be a bit more balanced.

First, I'll talk about the lead-up to the churches.

Wait, on second thought, first I'll look at two interesting quotes.

Connor: "That one's beautiful. I wish I'd killed it."
Cordelia: "Kind of a funny way to express your affection. I love you, bang, you're dead?"
- Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Spike: "You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."
- Lovers Walk

Well, it's nice of the guys to let us know what they're going to do. What they'll do to those they love.

But in the end, it isn't about love. It's about peace. About the search for peace.

In a way, religion (or at least, the Christian religion) is all about peace. So it's fitting that the talk of rest occurs in a church. We search for meaning in our lives, for the way to understanding. We look for a way to stop the fighting and to finally rest in peace (in Spike's song, Buffy is what prevents him from resting. She's the cattle prod of his existence.).

The big difference between the scenes is the position of the beloved. Cordy is already resting, at peace (at least for the moment). Buffy isn't.

There are more similarities, now that I've rewatched it. Both Connor and Spike knew that they were living lies. There are also tons of differences.

After Spike stabs Ronnie with the rebar, he cracks. Causing pain is what causes his break-down. When Connor cracks, he's already in the church, and it's over his alienation from everyone else.

Spike's speech is responsive. Connor's is introspective, though he addresses it towards Cordelia. Both Connor and Spike have a moment of hysterical realization, Connor's in the church ("But not me. Not me!"), Spike's before ("I get it. Joke's on me."), one of those moments when you have to laugh, or you'll cry. Spike, though, is intensely aware of having an audience. After all, he's been playing a part since he died.

Spike runs away from his audience, from his victim, from the place where he cracked, and into the church. Was he hoping Buffy would follow or hoping she wouldn't? Connor runs away from Angel at the end of Peace Out, and my guess is that he's running back to the church and to Cordy.

When we get to the church, we get back to the biggest difference: Spike's speech is interactive, while Connor's isn't. Everything that happens in Connor's scene comes out of him alone, while we see Spike react to Buffy touching him and Buffy telling him that she'll listen.

Spike's speech revolves around his soul and its pain, ending in his plea for rest. But through it all is one thread: it's all for her.

"Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would never... to be a kind of man."

And most importantly, to me, is that Spike's question is for the both of them: "Can we rest now? Buffy, can we rest?" We. Us two. (And wow, I have to give props to Buffy. After rewatching this... I get her reaction to Spike through the rest of the season. I get it. Seeing this kind of despair changes things. I still hate that there's no true fall-out from the attempted rape, though.)

Connor's desire is singular. He wants to rest. Cordelia's already resting.

But even though Spike's despair is palatable, there's a hope in his speech that doesn't exist in Connor's. Spike pleads for rest, Connor knows that it isn't coming. Spike wants love and forgiveness. Connor's received it, through Jasmine, and he knows that it isn't enough. He tried to give his pain up to someone else and it didn't work.

Spike's speech is despair and hope intertwined. Connor's is despair alone.

Spike's kills occurred before he had a soul and no matter what happens, the soul made a difference. Connor has no such shield. Everything he did, he did out of hope that this lie would be better than the others. He made his choices out of full awareness. Connor had a choice.

We leave Spike still smoking on a cross. We see Connor leave the church and make a different choice.

Then we have the aftermath.

Buffy says the right words to Spike, though it takes a while: "I believe in you." And in Touched, we see that maybe Spike's wrong about what love means, since it looks like he and Buffy are friends. With trust and other silly things that 'old marrieds' believe in. Of course, a soul, as we've seen, changes a lot. And her reaction is sincere. She doesn't ask more than what Spike can give. Get out of the basement, I'll find a place for you. I'm not ready for you not to be here.

Angel says all the wrong words to Connor at the end of Peace Out: "Connor. It's okay. It's over. I know this is difficult for you. I'm just happy to have you." And I'm sure that Angel meant the best, but... that was not anywhere near the right thing to say. It's not okay. It's not over, not while the woman Connor loves is still in a coma. It was so far beyond difficult that Angel should be ashamed of himself for saying that. And Angel should never have assumed that this meant Connor was choosing him over Jasmine. Connor's choice was in ending the lie that was just as bad as all the others.

Of course, we don't know if Angel will figure out what he should say. If we judged Buffy purely on Beneath You... all she does there is ask questions, actually. And cry for Spike's pain. She feels for him. Maybe it's because Jasmine did so much to Angel, but he didn't feel for Connor in the moment. Buffy saw the horror of what had happened to Spike, even just in Beneath You. Angel didn't fully understand the horror of what Connor had to do: kill his own daughter. He had feelings directed towards Connor, but didn't feel Connor's pain.


And now both parts are up at my site.

Also, there's a very interesting project, , that I'm signing up for.

And in life news, today is my (maternal) grandmother's 88th birthday. Oh, and I get paid tomorrow. Whoo!

Comments

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you did this.

Have you seen the Angel finale? I can't talk about this without talking about the Angel finale.

But thanks.

Mer

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Ooo. I have. Please talk.