I didn't wear a costume today.
Oct. 31st, 2003 09:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyDidn't feel well enough to go anywhere.
I hate being paranoid. I hate being afraid. I hate being depressed. I hate not being able to get over things. Meh. Maybe it's the coming of winter that's affecting me. I just really want to look at an email and not assume that it's bad news. That it'll be a rejection of some kind. How many good things does it take to wipe out one bad? Can you ever wipe out the bad with good? Probably not. It's just... I should not assume that getting an email from someone who has shown that they like me in the past is going to be a rejection of some kind. But, to get all melodramatic, the wounded animal cringes even from its owners.
Pain can make you forget that you can trust people. Perhaps that's why I identify so much with certain characters. Buffy. Xander. Joey from Dawson's Creek. Wesley. Angel. Connor.
They get hurt, they crawl into themselves. Put up walls and shells. That's what I do. And then explode. We should not forget the exploding that happens on occasion, when you bottle it all up too much.
*sigh*
Maybe it's the winter.
So, right now, I'm going to go through my vid collection and work out what I think are definitive Jossverse vids. I'll probably share this tomorrow.
I'll probably feel better then.
I hate being paranoid. I hate being afraid. I hate being depressed. I hate not being able to get over things. Meh. Maybe it's the coming of winter that's affecting me. I just really want to look at an email and not assume that it's bad news. That it'll be a rejection of some kind. How many good things does it take to wipe out one bad? Can you ever wipe out the bad with good? Probably not. It's just... I should not assume that getting an email from someone who has shown that they like me in the past is going to be a rejection of some kind. But, to get all melodramatic, the wounded animal cringes even from its owners.
Pain can make you forget that you can trust people. Perhaps that's why I identify so much with certain characters. Buffy. Xander. Joey from Dawson's Creek. Wesley. Angel. Connor.
They get hurt, they crawl into themselves. Put up walls and shells. That's what I do. And then explode. We should not forget the exploding that happens on occasion, when you bottle it all up too much.
*sigh*
Maybe it's the winter.
So, right now, I'm going to go through my vid collection and work out what I think are definitive Jossverse vids. I'll probably share this tomorrow.
I'll probably feel better then.