Angel 5x04 - Hellbound

[butterfly]

Randomness: someone just compared Lilah and Eve to Catwoman (Batman Returns) and Batgirl (Batman and Robin), and I was immediately all, "I liked both of them, too." I mean, it's not that I didn't like Lilah, but I don't dislike Eve. To me, the liking of one has nothing to do with the liking of the other. Though this wasn't always the case. I hated Angel partly because I loved Xander so much. And Angel was the guy that Buffy chose, so I hated him for Xander.

And I stopped watching Angel when they killed Doyle and brought in Wes. Though I did get over that fairly quickly, as Wesley totally won my heart in S2.

It makes sense to me that Wesley doesn't seem to have a lot to do. He's out of place. He has no reason to be there. He can't remember his reason (Lilah), so he's foundering. Wes is seriously lacking in direction this year.

And Angel's lacking in any kind of hope, which is a sad thing. He's been utterly disillusioned by the last two years. Killed his son... and yeah, he thinks he did the right thing, but he's never going to forget slashing his son with a knife. Just like Buffy never forgot sticking a sword into Angel.

But Wesley isn't allowed to remember chopping Lilah's head off. Seems unfair. Horrible things need to be remembered, sometimes. If we forget the past, we'll only repeat it.

You can't be saved by a lie. You can't wash away blood - it doesn't come out, not all the way. You can cover it over, but it'll always be there.

Like I said in my other post, it makes sense for Angel to hang out with Eve, even though he was resisting that a month ago. She's the only one who knows about Connor. Even though he's forbidden her to speak of it, it must eat him up just a little bit more when someone who knows is with him. And Angel knows that he deserves hell and torment and every ounce of pain that comes his way. He's killed and he's destroyed lives and no matter what he does, he can't undo all the pain he caused. Holtz and Connor brought that home to him, I think. He destroyed Holtz's life and it kicked him in the face (much like Anya's vengeance demon past is what prompted her life to unravel in Hell's Bells). Actions have consequences, even if they take centuries to take effect. The wheel always comes 'round. So the pain that he visited on others came back to haunt him and now he's using the pain visited on him to haunt others.

Angel doesn't have faith anymore. The Higher Powers were screwing with him the whole time. They were using him, using Cordy, using his son.

So the ends justify the means, because no matter what means he uses, they won't make a difference - he already believes himself to be damned. So why not kill the evil? Why not trap a man for all eternity? It takes evil out of the world and it doesn't matter if it stains a soul already too tarnished to meet the Shining Gates. Once you've mixed in the black, you can never get back to white - you only have shades of grey. Of course, Angel should remember this in regards to Connor - just because he used white-out over Connor's life doesn't mean that the blood-red ink of the evil that Connor did is gone. It's just covered over. I doubt that W&H could bring the virgin back to life. She's still dead, and he still killed her, and his soul still carries that burden - in Angel's own belief system, he damned his own son and doesn't even know it.

Spike may be the one threatened with Hell in this episode, but Angel's the one certain that he'll go there. And it's not just for the evil that Angelus did, now. Angel's done plenty of evil as Angel to qualify in his own mind.

Comments

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Last two lines there made me nod. And shudder.

So so sad. So so true.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Gah. I love that icon. Yes, exactly. Much nodding.

I am so watching for Angel this year. Which is cool and neat and also really nice, because when you're watching for the main character, there tends to be a lot to watch for.

Angel is incredibly complex and fascinating and... tragic. It's a very sad story, really. And Angel's life? Sucks.

[imation23.livejournal.com]

Great post. It really made me understand, deep down, why Angel is the way he is now. He's being portrayed a lot less sympathetically than he was in Season 4, but I like it because it's in character. He's the only character we've met so far in the Buffyverse (with the possible exception of Faith) who actually has no hope left. None. And not in the big, despairing, 'we're gonna die' way. In the 'it really doesn't matter what I do, and everything that ever made life worth living to me is gone' way. *sob*

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think he's incredibly sympathetic this year, but that's partly because I always see Connor when I see Angel.

But yeah, Angel's out of hope. Different than the deal with S6 Buffy, who was suffering massive depression. What Angel's feeling is more akin to Connor in S4. That Connor who was sick and tired and who killed his own daughter because this world didn't deserve her. Because she was a beautiful lie that people refused to believe.

Hopelessness and depression are related, but not the same. We saw depressed Angel back in S2 - the Angel who wanted to feel something besides the cold and was willing to try to fuck his soul out of himself via Darla. This is an entirely different, and much scarier, creature.

The person with nothing to lose is willing to go all the way. And Angel doesn't have anything left to lose (wonder if Dinza would keep him if he went to her now?).

[breidablik.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to drop by and say I love your thoughts on Angel, you have such beauty in the way you describe things and a wonderful ability to connect the dots.

I think your distinction between hopelessness and depression is very interesting. I have yet to watch the episode, but I know as much as I'm looking forward to a darkening Angel, I'm not sure that I want to see one without hope. I'm getting ready for my heart to be broken, my poor baby.

Reminds me of Jasmine saying, after that strange kiss in Peace Out, that Angel was heading straight to hell. Hellbound, you might say...

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Thank you. You know, part of what I love about Angel (and Darla) is that he has an elegance about him, whether he's killing or brooding. Not quite the vampires of myth, which I'm glad about, but closer than anything this side of Dracula. He drinks blood from crystal decanters. Yeah, when Angel lets himself, he's downright decadent. When he was Angelus, he always had to have the best. And now he's letting himself have the best again. It's interesting.

But yeah, now that you've mentioned that kiss, I'm thinking about it. Why would she kiss him? Well, her schick was happiness and peace. Two things that Angel is decidedly lacking in this year. He tells her to go to hell and she says, "You first, baby," and then she kisses him. Very odd. And ending world peace... ending Jasmine's reign is what got him the job, and that started before Connor killed her (Lilah only reappears after Jasmine's power has been broken). So Angel's invitation to reign in hell (rather than serve in Jasmine's heaven) has already been sent when she says that.

Hopeless Angel is fascinating. Terribly tragic, yes, but so very fascinating. He's still telling the innocents all the right words, but the meaning is leached out by his own lack of faith. He helps the helpless without caring that he's doing it in a way that further damns himself. Because he already believes himself damned beyond saving.

[inyron.livejournal.com]

But Wesley isn't allowed to remember chopping Lilah's head off. Seems unfair. Horrible things need to be remembered, sometimes. If we forget the past, we'll only repeat it.

Yes. Exactly. This is the main reason I'm pissed on his behalf because of the mindwipe. Not only with Lilah, of course, but with how things went down with Angel- Wes deserves to remember that.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Wesley deserves to know why. And he deserves to know why Angel doesn't trust him like he did back in early S3 or whatever Wesley's memory is stuck at.

He doesn't remember taking Angel's child to try to save Angel. He doesn't remember getting his throat slit and seeing everyone go only to Angel's side. He doesn't remember sleeping with the enemy and love not always about holding hands. He doesn't remember signed dollar bills. Doesn't remember leading Connor down a hallway or burning a contract.

He doesn't remember why he's at Wolfram and Hart, because out of everyone there who's lacking in memory, he is the only one who would have only gone because of what happened in the fallout of Connor. Without Connor and without Lilah, he never would have signed up or even gone. So he has a pen and a title and nothing even resembling a place. And he's noticing that. He can tell that things don't fit right, being a brainy type.

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

Wonderful post. I've been especially interested in Wesley at W&H (sidenote: stopped watching during S3 after Billy, resumed when Faith returned, have caught up on events but not yet watched episodes).

He leads with convincing authority, the type that's almost unnoticed. And very sexy.

I want to see more Angel angst over Connor. I'm holding my breath that they'll bring HappyConnor into the story sometime this season. Bring on the pain!

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Yes, leader!Wes is pretty sexy. And now he doesn't mind not being the figurehead. Angel can be the guy behind the desk, while Wesley is the guy giving orders. Makes sense that he didn't lose that, as it started in Guise Will Be Guise.

And Angel angsting over Connor is a beautiful thing.