It's always disturbing to find oneself a bit of a hypocrite, even in fictional situations.

[butterfly]

In other words, my interest in lotrips has shifted to being Elijah/Sean - my kink for their kind of relationship overruling my adultery squick.

Of course, before this, I just had a shallow interest in the pairing of Elijah and Orlando as the two hottest, so at least I've shifted to a relationship I like because of emotional instead of purely physical reasons.

Comments

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Hello. I came here out of curiosity after finding out you'd friended me. I'm very new here, not quite a month, so I'm always surprised and pleased to find LJ members that I don't know or haven't interacted with have chosen to friend me. Did you read one of my fics? Is that how you found me? Or did you read one of my comments in a mutual friend's journal?

Judging by this post, the first of yours I've read, we have a lot in common, so I'm pleased to friend you back. Sean/Elijah is my pairing of choice, for the same reasons you mention. I'm more interested in the emotional than the physical, and many of my Seanelijah fics don't really have any sex, while others do. While I know it's important to the reality of my writing, I have to admit Sean's adultery doesn't bother me. Of course, it's an issue, but I believe you can't control who you fall in love with, and that Sean, at least in my fictional world, loves Elijah enough to put his marriage and family at risk. I hope some of your Seanelijah is posted in your journal because I'd love to see how you perceive that relationship.

Even though I didn't list them in my interests I'm a big fan of both BtVS and Harry Potter, as I see you are, so we have that in common, too.

It's very nice to meet you. I hope we'll be seeing each other.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

It's nice to meet you, too.

And yeah, I ran across you as I was looking for S/E fic - I always tend to add people as I discover new interests.

And additional shared interests are always good, too.

My head's still turning over, finding what the whys of S/E for me. I have a massive friends-to-lovers thing (as can be shown by quite a few of my favorite pairings) and I'm a sucker for a good first meeting, which they definitely had.

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

I ran across you as I was looking for S/E fic - I always tend to add people as I discover new interests.

You mean during a search? I haven't actually used the search feature. I discovered LJ through a posting on a Yahoo List (SeanElijah), having had no idea the community existed. I hung around for a while, posting anonymously in the journals of people I knew from the Yahoo group, then slowly discovering their friends. Eventually I decided I liked it here and decided to create my own.

I have a massive friends-to-lovers thing (as can be shown by quite a few of my favorite pairings) and I'm a sucker for a good first meeting, which they definitely had.

Yes, I loved reading about their first meeting. I've actually gone back to it several times in my own Sean/Elijah fics. It was that immediate connection that makes them such a unique pairing for me. You said your favorite pairings. What other couples do you like? And do you write different ones yourself? My OTP is Sean/Elijah, but I've experimented with a few Dom/Elijah fics because even though it's frowned upon to discuss the possibility that some of these pairings might exist in real life, I figure if Elijah's with anyone, it's Dom, much as I wish it could be Sean.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Nah, I search the old-fashioned way - I found an A/E website via google that had a livejournal link, so I then checked out that person's flist. The search feature on lj isn't the best, really.

I started with lj from near the beginning (which is how I was able to snag the fairly simple 'butterfly' as my name before anyone else could) but didn't really post on it for a year.

Then the *NSYNC slash fen started to migrate here, so I posted more. Then I discovered how many of them also loved Buffy, so my flist started to grow. I actually friend back everyone who friends me, but I only read around 150-200 journals (because 300-ish is just too many). Of course, anyone I friend first would be on my daily read list.

I do write, though I haven't yet written in the lotrips fandom. I may or may not - I generally only write if I want something that the fandom isn't giving me, which is why I have several Buffy/Xander fics and no Fraser/Kowalski (due South) fics. There are tons of great F/K authors out there. There are, not including me, two good B/X writers - one of whom has only written one story.

I'm a canon whore, pretty much - I need to know, which is how I came across a lot of the lotrips stuff. And being from *nsync fandom, rps squicks me not at all.

I used to be firmly against adultery reading-wise, because I was so against it in RL. It's much harder to feel that way when your mom got together with a married guy and is now happily living with the guy (who has since divorced). Life's a lot greyer than "til death".

And I've also developed a thing for responsible guys over the years - I blame this on Xander, as he grew into such a resp

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

For some reason, your reply didn't show up in my e-mail, so I'm answering the old-fashioned way, by just checking your journal. I used to do this when I was still posting anonymously, although being notified when you receive a reply is much more efficient. *sigh*

Ok, that said......

Nah, I search the old-fashioned way - I found an A/E website via google that had a livejournal link, so I then checked out that person's flist. The search feature on lj isn't the best, really.

You'll have to be patient with me here because I'm relatively new to this not familiar with the abbreviations. A/E website?

I started with lj from near the beginning (which is how I was able to snag the fairly simple 'butterfly' as my name before anyone else could) but didn't really post on it for a year.

You're lucky you were able to get the name you wanted. What amazed when I first went to create my journal was that practically all the user names I wanted were taken. I had no idea there were so many like-minded folks out there. Finally I was able to get one I could live with. I choose "ink" as part of my name because I've had my non-fandom work published, and while I have nothing against web publishing, to me, being published will always mean being in print.

Then the *NSYNC slash fen started to migrate here, so I posted more. Then I discovered how many of them also loved Buffy, so my flist started to grow. I actually friend back everyone who friends me, but I only read around 150-200 journals (because 300-ish is just too many). Of course, anyone I friend first would be on my daily read list.

While I'm a fan of NSYNC's music, I know nothing about the guys themselves, and have no desire to write about them. Buffy had been my primary obsession before LOTR, but I must admit I was never tempted to write about any of its characters either. I'm not quite sure what it is about LOTR's actors that has inspired me to create my RPS, but it's become like a drug, and I've really enjoyed creating my own fictional worlds for them.

I do write, though I haven't yet written in the lotrips fandom. I may or may not - I generally only write if I want something that the fandom isn't giving me, which is why I have several Buffy/Xander fics and no Fraser/Kowalski (due South) fics. There are tons of great F/K authors out there. There are, not including me, two good B/X writers - one of whom has only written one story.

That's not true anymore. I read your Sean/Elijah drabble on my friends list before coming here. Bravo! My first attempt at RPS was less than stellar, so I have to take my hat off to you for hitting the target on your first try. Fraser/Kowalski? Hmmm..Due South, another fav or mine, but alas, no interest in slash there either. While it seems we share a number of favorites, I'm afraid LOTR RPS is the only thing you're going to see from me.

I used to be firmly against adultery reading-wise, because I was so against it in RL. Life's a lot greyer than "til death".

Amen to that. I actually discovered LOTR RPS quite by accident. I had been writing Sean/Elijah fic, based on their Frodo and Sam closeness, and all the things I'd been reading about them in interviews, but had been creating original characters, only basing them on Sean and Elijah. I had absolutely no idea this world of RPS even existed until one day, while doing a routine web search, one of the responses to my query came up as "Billy Boyd/Elijah Wood stories." I naturally assumed they were talking about interviews, so I clicked on the link, which brought me to the Closer Than Brothers archive, now defunct. I cannot tell you what a shock it was, and quite an eye opener. Well I felt as if I'd come home, and while I enjoyed writing characters based on Sean and Elijah, being able to write about them as themselves (or my version of them) is so much more enjoyable. I love the fact that in RPS you can use the characters' real history to enhance your fictional world. Having started out writing non-fandom stories, not having to create my own character backgrounds felt like cheating, but it certainly gives the stories a hint of reality.

Ok, I'll post this, then respond to the second half.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

A/E website?

That was actually just a typo - meant to do S/E (but I was probably thinking 'Astin' in my head, and thus the 'A').

I'm not quite sure what it is about LOTR's actors that has inspired me to create my RPS, but it's become like a drug, and I've really enjoyed creating my own fictional worlds for them.

They have this great energy about them - and there so much interesting stuff to work with, so it makes total sense to me.

That's not true anymore. I read your Sean/Elijah drabble on my friends list before coming here. Bravo! My first attempt at RPS was less than stellar, so I have to take my hat off to you for hitting the target on your first try.

Thank you. And I hadn't been expecting to write them so soon. But Elijah was poking me and telling to at least try - and how can I say no to that?

Fraser/Kowalski? Hmmm..Due South, another fav or mine, but alas, no interest in slash there either. While it seems we share a number of favorites, I'm afraid LOTR RPS is the only thing you're going to see from me.

Well, one of the reasons that the name butterfly fits me is because I am fairly multi-fandom. I like reading so many - but only tend to write if I feel like I'd have a different perspective than the majority of the current fic.

But I love all kinds of fiction - slash, het, fictional, real person-based - there really isn't a 'type' that I don't like.

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

That was actually just a typo - meant to do S/E (but I was probably thinking 'Astin' in my head, and thus the 'A').

Got it. I haven't actually done much actual searching. My discovery of different slash writers has come from the Yahoo lists and LJ, where I continue to discover friends of friends, and people like you, who discover me, which is such a compliment.

They have this great energy about them - and there so much interesting stuff to work with, so it makes total sense to me.

I agree, both about the energy and the interesting stuff. I find RPS so interesting because while we do fictionalize their lives, they do have real lives, complete with baggage, and incorporating that history into my fics gives them a realism that isn't often found is original fiction.

Thank you. And I hadn't been expecting to write them so soon. But Elijah was poking me and telling to at least try - and how can I say no to that?

You're welcome. So far, for me, it's mostly Sean doing to poking, but since all he wants to talk about is Elijah, I get to write my favorite pairing just the same. *g*

Well, one of the reasons that the name butterfly fits me is because I am fairly multi-fandom. I like reading so many - but only tend to write if I feel like I'd have a different perspective than the majority of the current fic.

Yes, in that case, "butterfly" definitely fits. As I think I mentioned (writing so many comments it's getting hard to remember what I said to whom *g*) I chose "ink" to represent my print publishing, but I wanted "gypsy" to represent not the nomadic, but the unconventional because I can't think of anything more unconventional for a writer than doing RPS.

But I love all kinds of fiction - slash, het, fictional, real person-based - there really isn't a 'type' that I don't like.

I'm afraid my tastes aren't very varied. Before discovering RPS and FPS, I basically read the same things I wrote, gay and lesbian erotica. So the only thing varied about my reading now is my choice of pairing.

On to Part 2!

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

My discovery of different slash writers has come from the Yahoo lists and LJ, where I continue to discover friends of friends, and people like you, who discover me, which is such a compliment.

Yeah, it's always nice to be friended first - very cool.

As I think I mentioned (writing so many comments it's getting hard to remember what I said to whom *g*) I chose "ink" to represent my print publishing, but I wanted "gypsy" to represent not the nomadic, but the unconventional because I can't think of anything more unconventional for a writer than doing RPS.

You did - and I think that I thought, but didn't write that it's way cool that you're published. I have an editing credit on a scientific journal, but that's not really the same thing at all.

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

You did - and I think that I thought, but didn't write that it's way cool that you're published. I have an editing credit on a scientific journal, but that's not really the same thing at all.

Sorry to have repeated myself. It is difficult when you post a lot to keep the posts straight, at least it is for me. Yes, being published is kind of cool. I certainly don't get enough stories accepted to make a living at it, so at present, it's no more than a glorified hobby.

It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I've also developed a thing for responsible guys over the years - I blame this on Xander, as he grew into such a responsible-type guy and he was my growing up crush. This means that I have a responsible guy (RG) crush on SA. And guys with kids do it for me too - probably connected to the RG thing - and I blame that one firmly on Joey Fatone and his adorable daughter.

I mostly don't guess about RL pairings - I'm so used to *nsync fandom where believers could be relentlessly mocked by non-believers.

I got pulled into lotrips because of *nsync, really - the two groups have similiar tight vibes and shared affection. In *nsync fandom, I write (well, wrote, really) Lance/Justin, which was thin on the ground when I started, but soon after that, a couple of really good authors showed up - which may be part of the reason I stopped writing it - I didn't need to anymore.

So, in a way, I wish there were more S/E fics, but in another way, I'm glad that there aren't too many, because I still feel like there are things that I could say about the pairing.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

This means that I have a responsible guy (RG) crush on SA. And guys with kids do it for me too

Yeah, putting Sean's kids in the mix does make it interesting. Unlike some Seanelijah writers, I don't pretend Christine and his daughters don't exist, and I love the idea of Elijah interacting with the girls. If you read my Seanelijah fics, you'll see I tend to write Sean as Elijah's protector, mostly because of the age difference, so in some ways, it's like Sean has almost a paternal view of his lover. Hope that doesn't creep you out, but if it does, perhaps I'm not expressing myself properly.

I mostly don't guess about RL pairings - I'm so used to *nsync fandom where believers could be relentlessly mocked by non-believers.

I understand. Speculation isn't encouraged in LOTR RPS either, though from what I've seen, there are two distinct camps on the subject, those who insist the guys are straight, others who insist they're gay. What I've never been able to understand is why all the people who champion the boys' heterosexuality have no problem writing about them as lovers. One of the mysteries of slash.

I got pulled into lotrips because of *nsync, really - the two groups have similiar tight vibes and shared affection.

I would never have guessed that connection, but as I mentioned in part one of this post, nsync is only music for me, nothing more.

So, in a way, I wish there were more S/E fics, but in another way, I'm glad that there aren't too many, because I still feel like there are things that I could say about the pairing.

Well the S/E pairing isn't the most popular, but those that write it are fiercely loyal. Many people only read their favorite pairing, but I'm open to all different couplings, even though S/E will always be my favorite. If you feel you have things you could say about them, I hope you will. From what I've read, you're certainly off to a great start.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

If you read my Seanelijah fics, you'll see I tend to write Sean as Elijah's protector, mostly because of the age difference, so in some ways, it's like Sean has almost a paternal view of his lover. Hope that doesn't creep you out, but if it does, perhaps I'm not expressing myself properly.

Season One Wesley/Angel kinda has almost the same vibe at times - Angel's the good dad to Wesley's actual bad dad. Which is a rather roundabout way of saying that protectiveness certainly doesn't bother me.

Speculation isn't encouraged in LOTR RPS either, though from what I've seen, there are two distinct camps on the subject, those who insist the guys are straight, others who insist they're gay. What I've never been able to understand is why all the people who champion the boys' heterosexuality have no problem writing about them as lovers. One of the mysteries of slash.

Slash is an odd thing. My personal view? Some are straight, Ian is gay, and I bet at least one of the guys is bisexual.

Well the S/E pairing isn't the most popular, but those that write it are fiercely loyal. Many people only read their favorite pairing, but I'm open to all different couplings, even though S/E will always be my favorite. If you feel you have things you could say about them, I hope you will. From what I've read, you're certainly off to a great start.

Heh, as a B/X 'shipper, I understand the loyalty thing - seven years, not one kiss, and I still love the idea of Buffy and Xander as much as I did the first episode I watched.

And thank you again.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Season One Wesley/Angel kinda has almost the same vibe at times - Angel's the good dad to Wesley's actual bad dad. Which is a rather roundabout way of saying that protectiveness certainly doesn't bother me.

I can't say I saw Wesley in that role, but it did take me a while to warm up to him once he made the move to Angel. I actually couldn't stand the way he was written when he was on Buffy, too much of a buffoon. A lot of slash writers, even people who do Seanelijah, don't like the protectiveness angle because they can't stand seeing Elijah portrayed as what they consider weak, but it's the way my Sean muse comes to me, so all I can do is follow. And because of the age difference, I think it's only natural that Sean would take that role. A ten-year difference is a lot, especially when one of the partners is only 18.

Slash is an odd thing. My personal view? Some are straight, Ian is gay, and I bet at least one of the guys is bisexual.

Well there's no guesswork with Ian. He's quite out and proud, and I recently found out another LOTR actor, the man who played Haldir (name escapes me at the moment) is also openly gay. Other than that, the rest are keeping their sexuality close to the vest. Sean is married, so everyone assumes heterosexual, but of course, that means nothing. I see Billy as straight, Elijah as gay, and Dom as possibly bi, but that's just the vibe I get from them.

Heh, as a B/X 'shipper, I understand the loyalty thing - seven years, not one kiss, and I still love the idea of Buffy and Xander as much as I did the first episode I watched.

That was a regret of mine, too, that Xander and Buffy never even kissed. Despite his love for Anya, I don't think he ever got over Buffy.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

A lot of slash writers, even people who do Seanelijah, don't like the protectiveness angle because they can't stand seeing Elijah portrayed as what they consider weak, but it's the way my Sean muse comes to me, so all I can do is follow. And because of the age difference, I think it's only natural that Sean would take that role. A ten-year difference is a lot, especially when one of the partners is only 18.

And someone can enjoy being taken care of without being weak.

That was a regret of mine, too, that Xander and Buffy never even kissed. Despite his love for Anya, I don't think he ever got over Buffy.

Oh, I love you. Of course, I love most everyone who agrees with me on the B/X kiss issue. Still. Much love.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

And someone can enjoy being taken care of without being weak.

Oh thank you for saying that. It's how I feel, but a lot of people don't get it. A common theme in my gay fiction is one partner being what the other needs him to be, and a younger partner allowing his older partner to "take care of him" is one I often explore. I think being what your lover needs you to be is very selfless.

Oh, I love you. Of course, I love most everyone who agrees with me on the B/X kiss issue. Still. Much love.

I'm surprised to hear that people don't see it. On the first day Xander saw Buffy, he not only fell off his skateboard, he fell in love, and I doubt he ever fell out of it.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

A common theme in my gay fiction is one partner being what the other needs him to be, and a younger partner allowing his older partner to "take care of him" is one I often explore. I think being what your lover needs you to be is very selfless.

And some people are just better at practical things. Sean really comes across as a very practical and safety-minded kind of guy - protector type.

On the first day Xander saw Buffy, he not only fell off his skateboard, he fell in love, and I doubt he ever fell out of it.

Agreed. Very much agreed.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

And some people are just better at practical things. Sean really comes across as a very practical and safety-minded kind of guy - protector type.

Very much so. I'll never forget all that teasing he took on the extras on the FOTR EE DVD for being the "safety monitor." Plus, Elijah does seem to have the reputation for being a slob and not eating properly. Not to mention is game-playing and action figures, which make him appear rather childish. Add to that his being so much younger than Sean, and I think it's totally believable that Sean would feel utterly protective toward him as well as sexually attracted to him. Everyone in the fandom seems to agree on that. The only dispute is whether Elijah wants to be treated that way. In my fics, he doesn't mind, up to a point.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Well, in my own very personal experience, being taken care of - to a point - is comforting for creative messy types. That way, they can concentrate on being instead of worrying about where they left their keys.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Well I'm not sure I qualify as creative, but I certainly qualify as messy. When I read some of the fics that mention the piles of clothing in Elijah's room or the fact that he considers Pop-Tarts a decent meal, I feel like I'm reading about myself. Lijah and I have a lot in common, but since he's so much younger, he can be more easily forgiven for his childish ways. And while I'd love to have someone willing to look after me the way I have Sean looking after Elijah, I'm stuck with doing the job myself. *g*

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm only twenty-one, so I can totally use his excuse. But yeah, it's easy not to clean up and to wish that you had a magic thing that would clean up messes. I used to have one - it was called 'mom'. Heh. Well, partly true. Sometimes I wonder if mom wanted me to move out so that I would learn to clean up after myself.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Only twenty-one? *sigh*

Well since I'm a lot older than you are, I have less right to use the excuse, no matter how much it fits me. I think we all allow our mothers to clean up after us as long as we can. I was certainly guilty of it.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Only twenty-one? *sigh*

And only just recently - my birthday's Nov. 26th.

But yeah, it's way too easy to not care about keeping everything in order.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

my birthday's Nov. 26th.

Well happy belated birthday! Mine's Sept. 9.

I think my messiness at home is a backlash from having to keep everything so neat and tidy at my job. My boss is quite tyrannical about having everything in its place. He won't even allow personal items on desks, so my workplace has a sterile look and feel to it that I hate. I guess that's why when I come home, where there is no Neat Police, I just let things go. It is getting dangerous though because I've had to make a path to get through my living room. *g*

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Mine's Sept. 9.

Neat. That's just ten days before my brother's.

I think my messiness at home is a backlash from having to keep everything so neat and tidy at my job. My boss is quite tyrannical about having everything in its place. He won't even allow personal items on desks, so my workplace has a sterile look and feel to it that I hate. I guess that's why when I come home, where there is no Neat Police, I just let things go. It is getting dangerous though because I've had to make a path to get through my living room.

*giggles*

Well, I just have the one room to call my own - the rest I share, and need to keep reasonably clean. So I tend to rebel in my room, I suppose.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Do you share a place with roommates? My only roomie is my cat, Samwise. *g*

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Great name.

Yeah, I rent a room from someone. She's nice. Has a big dog named Riley, yet she's not a Buffy fan. Very odd. *g*

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Very odd indeed.

Were you one of those people who hated Riley? I always felt the poor guy got a raw deal. They were really well-matched, I thought, but he was way too insecure to be the boyfriend of the Slayer. By the time Buffy decided she wanted him to stay, he was already gone, but I do find it interesting that once again, Xander put aside his love for Buffy and convinced her to fight for him, which was probably a good thing because no matter what, I don't think Buffy would have ever turned to Xander.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I hated him until he left, but I like him fine now.

were really well-matched, I thought, but he was way too insecure to be the boyfriend of the Slayer.

He was too insecure. And he was right - she didn't love him the way he wanted to be loved.

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[ink-gypsy.livejournal.com]

I liked Riley well enough until he showed up with his wife. Obviously Buffy wasn't the love of his life after all since he hooked up with someone else so fast.

No, I think Buffy tried to convince herself that she loved Riley, but I think her heart still belonged to Angel at that point. And then of course Spike entered the picture as something other than an enemy. Talk about a pair being well-matched. *g*

Re: It cut me off! (part two)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I liked Riley well enough until he showed up with his wife. Obviously Buffy wasn't the love of his life after all since he hooked up with someone else so fast.

I didn't mind that so much. I mean, he was marrying on the rebound, but since she knew, I don't blame him so much - it isn't like he fooled her into thinking that he hadn't loved Buffy.