Jack, Daniel, and things they don't need to say.

[butterfly]

So, Meridian continues to murder me each time that I watch it. And each time, I seem to notice something new that tears me to bits.

This time, I finally took in that Daniel must appear, for all intents and purposes, to lapse into a coma while Jack is talking to him. He's talking to Jack, in obvious pain, he whispers, "Oma," and we go inside his mind or... something... at that's the last time that we see the Daniel lying in the bed talk or even open his eyes. Jack says, "What?" and Daniel doesn't answer.

We come back to see Jack sitting at Daniel's bedside and Daniel has stopped talking. He doesn't physically rouse for either Sam or Teal'c, though we can see that he hears them.

Oh, poor, poor Jack. I love him so much in this episode -- from his desperate hope that they can get Daniel to live, to his desperate wish to, at least, keep Daniel's reputation clean, if he can do nothing else, to the final moments where he has to let Daniel go.

"You giving up?" he asks. Daniel was always the one who never gave up, who fought so hard for every bit of life. Of course, even here, Daniel is doing that, because quality of life matters as much to him as life itself.

And then Revelations, where Jack is the one who doesn't confide in the others, who doesn't want to show his grief.

Daniel's gone and he was the one to let Daniel go. That has to be painful on so many levels. There's grief and anger and loneliness, but Jack goes on. He's not the early retirement type, not anymore, and that is because of Daniel. I love that Jack is always pissy with the Kelowans, even after Daniel's come back. Daniel died for them and they blamed him. Daniel died for them and they ended nearly blowing themselves up anyway. I definitely understand why he'd be only too happy to see the back of them.

I love that he never told anyone about his experiences with Daniel in Abyss and that he thought it would have been perfectly reasonable for him to have been hallucinating Daniel there. I love the almost-horrified look on his face when Hammond says in Shadow Play that he 'sound[s] like Doctor Jackson' and the way that Jack says, "we spent some time together' without actually adding but clearly implying, 'he was my best friend, you fucking asshole, sir'. I have tons of respect for Hammond, but that remark was pretty damn cold.

I love the look that Jack gets sometimes when he's around Daniel -- it's this soft, warm look that says a million wonderful things about friendship and caring. I missed that look when Daniel was gone. I love Jack and Daniel's relationship for all the things that they don't say, that they don't need to. I love that sometimes they do talk, and, selfishly, I love that Daniel is the only one that Jack seems to be able to talk to. Jack is friendly with Teal'c and Sam, but they aren't confidants. Daniel is. Jack can't talk about Daniel's apparent death to anyone (he can barely confirm that Daniel did, in fact, go -- all he says to Heimdall is a curt 'no' as to whether or not Daniel's with them), but he can talk about Teal'c's apparent death to Daniel.

Jack takes his grief and anger over Daniel and buries it deep. In some ways, it's comparable to his grief for Skaara, but at least in that case, he was actively working to fix the situation. Daniel chose to leave.

I love Jack in Full Circle -- he trusts Daniel so much, gets so mad at Daniel, and then loses everything. Again. And he still doesn't give up. I love that.

I find relationships deeply tragic if one person cannot survive the other's death. I have this feeling that love should strengthen and that any true love would uplift rather than encircle -- so that even the loss of the person that you loved would still leave you higher than when you met them. I'd take Angel in Heartthrob, feeling guilty because he can live without Buffy, over a thousand suicidal Romeos. One of the things that I admire most about Buffy is that loving her brings out the best in people, and that best stays brought out, even when she's left their life. Angel, Spike, and Riley all ended up as better people because of her, not to mention how her friendship enables so many others to be heroes as well. Chosen rang true to me in part because Buffy has always been about empowering other people. She creates heroes.

Daniel, too, brings out the best in people, as Sam notes at his not-quite-deathbed in Meridian. Daniel says in Absolute Power that he walks the path that he has chosen in order to honor Sha're's strength. Loving her made him stronger, even after losing her. That's the kind of love that I love -- the kind that leaves behind beautiful reverberations, even after the original bell has been silenced.

Comments

[katie-m.livejournal.com]

One of the things that I admire most about Buffy is that loving her brings out the best in people, and that best stays brought out, even when she's left their life.

Aww. Yes.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

She's very inspirational, no doubt.