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butterflyGod, I love Angel.
I rewatched Life of the Party. I was planning on just going through to see what I needed for the vid and... ended up going out and rewatching the episode. It made me laugh and think and... happy place. Buffyverse is such a happy place for me now. Closing canon does an odd thing for me -- if I like something enough, I end up not having any real complaints. I'll complain and get pissy when a show is running, but if it's over, then even the things that would have bothered me are only part of the larger canvas. Take anyone or anything out, and you change the pattern.
So, I love it all, because it fits and it works.
It was only after Riley left that I appreciated his story, because that's when I could decide what his story was. If I understand a character right away, I will love it right away, but for some characters, I need to see the entire arc to understand (and then love) them. Because once I do understand them? I can't help but love them.
Angel -- Angel, I did not truly love until Home, though I grew to like him more and more as season four progressed. It was his relationship with teen!Connor that made me look at Angel and see someone that I recognised. Angel loved Connor so much and he screwed up so many times with him and all he wanted to do was try to give Connor a happy life. And once I understood Angel, my love worked backwards. I used to snark about Angel in Sunnydale, but now it's affectionate teasing, at the most.
Angelus -- Now, Angelus is someone that I loved (to hate) right away. For the most part, in the Jossverse, the villains make a great deal of sense. I understood where Angelus was coming from and though I didn't want him to succeed, I found the trying fascinating to watch.
Anya -- Hell's Bells. "I'm marrying my best friend." And she broke my heart there and I fell for her. Because the pain of her feeling that way and knowing that Xander didn't feel the same... it was sad.
Buffy -- Oh, my girl. I adore Buffy for years without really understanding her. Hero worship. I finally got her in S6. Because that girl, the depressed one? That one I've been. And since then, I love and adore her both.
Cordelia -- Not until You're Welcome, where they reminded me why Cordy kicked ass sometimes and of how her arc shifted because of the episode. Before YW, I only ever liked Cordelia sometimes, when she was involved in a relationship that I found interesting, and even then, only really to the extent that the guy involved did.
Connor -- From the moment that he returned from Quor'toth. Connor made sense to me from day one. I can remember being so sympathetic to him during the airing of S4 (I actually seriously hoped that the Cordy/Connor thing would work out, for his sake). Just... poor kid. God, I'm so glad he got the memory of a happy childhood and the hope for a happy life.
Darla -- I don't remember when I started like Darla, but I think that I liked her very much during the beginning of the original airing of S2 AtS. I know that I adored her by the time she was vamped again. I was so damn proud of her, in the end, for being able to love another person, love Connor, enough to sacrifice her life for his.
Dawn -- Older and Far Away. That's where I said to myself, "Damn, I used to be Dawn." And I really did. The horrible push-pull of being a miserable teen girl -- you scream at them to leave you alone and you just want them to prove that they love you, no matter what you say or do. You just want to be able to believe that you're loved. That's the moment that Dawn became a Real Girl to me.
Doyle -- From the moment he told Angel Angel's own life story. Doyle just... clicked with me, instantly. I understood him and loved him from the second that I saw him. I was so happy to see that tape again in You're Welcome and to see just how incredibly pissed off Angel and Cordy got at Lindsey's appropriation of his name.
Drusilla -- Always. She was so broken in such an interesting way. My heart tore for her when I heard about (and then later saw) what Angelus did to her.
Eve -- I liked her from that first introduction in Conviction ("Do you always open both doors when you enter a room?") all the way through Not Fade Away ("Go where?"). I liked her only more when we found out more and more true things about her.
Faith -- Faith is complicated. She's the only characters in the entirely of the Buffyverse that I have a grudge against in this point in time. All of which doesn't mean that I can't truly care about her, but it's a love that's edged with anger. If I could give any Buffyverse character a good punch (and not get punched back, I should add), it would be Faith. And I'm not generally a violent person at all. I understand her and I care about her, but she seriously pisses me off whenever I think about the whole Xander thing (one second of remorse is all that I'd have needed, just one).
Fred -- The Jasmine arc, when she had survive and figure out how to get her people back. Her sheer force of will impressed the hell out of me, and we actually got to see the smarts that kept her alive in Pylea for five years.
Giles -- I've always loved Giles. I often get irritated at him for his truly crappy treatment of Xander (letting Buffy slide for the exact same 'sleeping on the job' behavior that he scolded Xander for, for instance), but it wasn't his job to care about Xander. He never wanted to, so it's something, that he did care and respect Xander in the end. For the most part.
Gunn -- I can't remember ever not liking Gunn. I wasn't thrilled with the Fred/Gunn storyline, but it didn't make me dislike the characters. Gunn made a lot of sense to me... maybe even especially the bad parts. He wanted security, wanted to be able to protect his people, no matter the personal cost. Then, he fell in the exact same trap that Willow did -- not thinking that he was enough on his own.
Harmony -- Always enjoyed Harmony. I was genuinely glad to see her escape in the end. It was fitting that she live, considering the themes of the episode and of Angel. Harmony made complete sense to me, beginning to end.
Lindsey -- Adored Lindsey from his first, brief, appearance to his heart-breaking end. "Angel kills me." I put him in the same category as Draco Malfoy, actually. I always find it sad when only one person in the relationship actually sees them as arch-rivals, while the other one sees the first as a dangerous pest. Unequal relationships make me sad.
Lilah -- I enjoy and quite like Lilah, but I've never adored her. She's funny, she's neat, but she's not the Second Coming (hee, and now I wish she had been, for the amusement value alone).
Lorne -- Oh, poor Lorne. Yeah, I love him. His story really is pretty tragic, because he was so damn happy at Caritas. And being on the Angel crew made him so miserable at the end. They broke him, Angel broke him. Poor guy. He made his choices, but it's still tragic.
Oz -- Always enjoyed Oz. Never thought that he fit with the Scoobies, because he was never an outsider, but a loner, but I liked him. I know from his kind of guy.
Spike -- Lessons. He came back souled and adorable and I tried to keep hating him. But he was so obviously remorseful over what he'd done (not just about Buffy either -- he's remarkably quiet and agreeable around Xander and the rest), that I melted. And I loved him in Angel.
Riley -- I liked Riley after he left. After his story was over, I was able to go back and see that it was actually a lot deeper than I'd thought at the time (mostly because, at the time, I was hating for not being good enough for my girl).
Tara -- Oh, I adored her from beginning to end. I loved seeing her grow into herself. She had a low-key sense of humor that was completely unlike anyone else's on the show, and I really appreciated it. Appreciated her.
Wesley -- My tragic hero. Angel is rather littered with them, but Wesley is the person who tore my heart out the most on that show. Poor, obsessive Wesley, who was always working to overcome his father's lessons. I hated him at first, for trying to take Giles' place, for taking Doyle's. It was so easy. And then I fell in love and it was slow. I will always, always love the show for doing this sort of thing. For making real people out of shadows. For making a joke into someone that can break your heart. I loved Lineage so much, for showing us the reasons and the tragedy behind Wesley's early fumbling behavior.
Willow Rosenberg -- End of season six, when Tara's death broke her and consequence rapped on her door. I truly loved Willow in season seven, whereas before that, I only liked her because I liked the people that she liked.
Xander -- From the first moment that I saw him until the end. Xander is flawed and human and so wonderful. He's my guy.
Oh, and on a completely different note, apparently Ewan and Hayden greeted each other with a kiss at the London premiere of Sith (link seen at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ros_fod's journal). Yay for affectionate casts.
I rewatched Life of the Party. I was planning on just going through to see what I needed for the vid and... ended up going out and rewatching the episode. It made me laugh and think and... happy place. Buffyverse is such a happy place for me now. Closing canon does an odd thing for me -- if I like something enough, I end up not having any real complaints. I'll complain and get pissy when a show is running, but if it's over, then even the things that would have bothered me are only part of the larger canvas. Take anyone or anything out, and you change the pattern.
So, I love it all, because it fits and it works.
It was only after Riley left that I appreciated his story, because that's when I could decide what his story was. If I understand a character right away, I will love it right away, but for some characters, I need to see the entire arc to understand (and then love) them. Because once I do understand them? I can't help but love them.
Angel -- Angel, I did not truly love until Home, though I grew to like him more and more as season four progressed. It was his relationship with teen!Connor that made me look at Angel and see someone that I recognised. Angel loved Connor so much and he screwed up so many times with him and all he wanted to do was try to give Connor a happy life. And once I understood Angel, my love worked backwards. I used to snark about Angel in Sunnydale, but now it's affectionate teasing, at the most.
Angelus -- Now, Angelus is someone that I loved (to hate) right away. For the most part, in the Jossverse, the villains make a great deal of sense. I understood where Angelus was coming from and though I didn't want him to succeed, I found the trying fascinating to watch.
Anya -- Hell's Bells. "I'm marrying my best friend." And she broke my heart there and I fell for her. Because the pain of her feeling that way and knowing that Xander didn't feel the same... it was sad.
Buffy -- Oh, my girl. I adore Buffy for years without really understanding her. Hero worship. I finally got her in S6. Because that girl, the depressed one? That one I've been. And since then, I love and adore her both.
Cordelia -- Not until You're Welcome, where they reminded me why Cordy kicked ass sometimes and of how her arc shifted because of the episode. Before YW, I only ever liked Cordelia sometimes, when she was involved in a relationship that I found interesting, and even then, only really to the extent that the guy involved did.
Connor -- From the moment that he returned from Quor'toth. Connor made sense to me from day one. I can remember being so sympathetic to him during the airing of S4 (I actually seriously hoped that the Cordy/Connor thing would work out, for his sake). Just... poor kid. God, I'm so glad he got the memory of a happy childhood and the hope for a happy life.
Darla -- I don't remember when I started like Darla, but I think that I liked her very much during the beginning of the original airing of S2 AtS. I know that I adored her by the time she was vamped again. I was so damn proud of her, in the end, for being able to love another person, love Connor, enough to sacrifice her life for his.
Dawn -- Older and Far Away. That's where I said to myself, "Damn, I used to be Dawn." And I really did. The horrible push-pull of being a miserable teen girl -- you scream at them to leave you alone and you just want them to prove that they love you, no matter what you say or do. You just want to be able to believe that you're loved. That's the moment that Dawn became a Real Girl to me.
Doyle -- From the moment he told Angel Angel's own life story. Doyle just... clicked with me, instantly. I understood him and loved him from the second that I saw him. I was so happy to see that tape again in You're Welcome and to see just how incredibly pissed off Angel and Cordy got at Lindsey's appropriation of his name.
Drusilla -- Always. She was so broken in such an interesting way. My heart tore for her when I heard about (and then later saw) what Angelus did to her.
Eve -- I liked her from that first introduction in Conviction ("Do you always open both doors when you enter a room?") all the way through Not Fade Away ("Go where?"). I liked her only more when we found out more and more true things about her.
Faith -- Faith is complicated. She's the only characters in the entirely of the Buffyverse that I have a grudge against in this point in time. All of which doesn't mean that I can't truly care about her, but it's a love that's edged with anger. If I could give any Buffyverse character a good punch (and not get punched back, I should add), it would be Faith. And I'm not generally a violent person at all. I understand her and I care about her, but she seriously pisses me off whenever I think about the whole Xander thing (one second of remorse is all that I'd have needed, just one).
Fred -- The Jasmine arc, when she had survive and figure out how to get her people back. Her sheer force of will impressed the hell out of me, and we actually got to see the smarts that kept her alive in Pylea for five years.
Giles -- I've always loved Giles. I often get irritated at him for his truly crappy treatment of Xander (letting Buffy slide for the exact same 'sleeping on the job' behavior that he scolded Xander for, for instance), but it wasn't his job to care about Xander. He never wanted to, so it's something, that he did care and respect Xander in the end. For the most part.
Gunn -- I can't remember ever not liking Gunn. I wasn't thrilled with the Fred/Gunn storyline, but it didn't make me dislike the characters. Gunn made a lot of sense to me... maybe even especially the bad parts. He wanted security, wanted to be able to protect his people, no matter the personal cost. Then, he fell in the exact same trap that Willow did -- not thinking that he was enough on his own.
Harmony -- Always enjoyed Harmony. I was genuinely glad to see her escape in the end. It was fitting that she live, considering the themes of the episode and of Angel. Harmony made complete sense to me, beginning to end.
Lindsey -- Adored Lindsey from his first, brief, appearance to his heart-breaking end. "Angel kills me." I put him in the same category as Draco Malfoy, actually. I always find it sad when only one person in the relationship actually sees them as arch-rivals, while the other one sees the first as a dangerous pest. Unequal relationships make me sad.
Lilah -- I enjoy and quite like Lilah, but I've never adored her. She's funny, she's neat, but she's not the Second Coming (hee, and now I wish she had been, for the amusement value alone).
Lorne -- Oh, poor Lorne. Yeah, I love him. His story really is pretty tragic, because he was so damn happy at Caritas. And being on the Angel crew made him so miserable at the end. They broke him, Angel broke him. Poor guy. He made his choices, but it's still tragic.
Oz -- Always enjoyed Oz. Never thought that he fit with the Scoobies, because he was never an outsider, but a loner, but I liked him. I know from his kind of guy.
Spike -- Lessons. He came back souled and adorable and I tried to keep hating him. But he was so obviously remorseful over what he'd done (not just about Buffy either -- he's remarkably quiet and agreeable around Xander and the rest), that I melted. And I loved him in Angel.
Riley -- I liked Riley after he left. After his story was over, I was able to go back and see that it was actually a lot deeper than I'd thought at the time (mostly because, at the time, I was hating for not being good enough for my girl).
Tara -- Oh, I adored her from beginning to end. I loved seeing her grow into herself. She had a low-key sense of humor that was completely unlike anyone else's on the show, and I really appreciated it. Appreciated her.
Wesley -- My tragic hero. Angel is rather littered with them, but Wesley is the person who tore my heart out the most on that show. Poor, obsessive Wesley, who was always working to overcome his father's lessons. I hated him at first, for trying to take Giles' place, for taking Doyle's. It was so easy. And then I fell in love and it was slow. I will always, always love the show for doing this sort of thing. For making real people out of shadows. For making a joke into someone that can break your heart. I loved Lineage so much, for showing us the reasons and the tragedy behind Wesley's early fumbling behavior.
Willow Rosenberg -- End of season six, when Tara's death broke her and consequence rapped on her door. I truly loved Willow in season seven, whereas before that, I only liked her because I liked the people that she liked.
Xander -- From the first moment that I saw him until the end. Xander is flawed and human and so wonderful. He's my guy.
Oh, and on a completely different note, apparently Ewan and Hayden greeted each other with a kiss at the London premiere of Sith (link seen at
ros_fod's journal). Yay for affectionate casts.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-19 07:16 pm (UTC)Me too! The badboyfriend arc of season 2 wasn't something I could relate to in the same way. Season 6 Buffy just breaks my heart.
And I have also always loved Drusilla. How can you not :D
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-25 09:59 pm (UTC)Something interesting that I've noticed is that if you strongly identify with early Buffy, you tend not to identify with later Buffy. Which makes sense -- Early Buffy is bubbly and hopeful and manages to remain mostly unscarred. Later Buffy has obvious wounds and makes different kinds of mistakes and succeeds in closing herself off a lot more.
And Dru is just... fun and tragic and all kinds of interesting.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-19 11:08 pm (UTC)I share most ot it, though my turning points are different.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-25 10:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-19 11:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-25 10:00 pm (UTC)*nods*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-20 03:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-25 10:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-21 06:59 am (UTC)Hey- linked here through metafandom. I had such a similar experience with Buffy- I loved her for years without really understanding why, or being able to verbalize it. But after going through something similar to her experience in season 6, and rewatching it, I just fell head over heels in love with her. She's all the worst parts of me and yet has all the bravery and wit and so much more that I'd love to have.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-25 10:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-22 10:18 pm (UTC)(the entire scene broke my heart, but that? that *killed* me.)
And as Buffy matured, as her life went downhill, so did mine. (though obviously not for the same reasons.)
And as each season progressed, I found it more and more easy to not only identify with her, but to *understand* her. Which is why Season 6 makes me wince; I know what that's like, what it feels like, how much better it makes you feel to be self destructive and injurious. How easy it is to push everyone away and disappear into your own darkness.
In short, I just love her. Any and every incarnation; whatever she does, whoever she does it to; she's Buffy. And I love her.
Cat
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-02 05:26 pm (UTC)I'm so sorry about that. And that is just how I feel about her. I always loved her, but when Season Six happened, I finally understood her.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-31 12:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-02 05:26 pm (UTC)