After the Fall: Kaleidoscope

Parts One Through Sixteen here.

Part Seventeen: Kaleidoscope
( Falling together - all Connor. )

Connor's a chatty sort. Or maybe I just can't sleep.

Spike/Xander fic query:

Once upon a time, I did voluntarily seek out fanfiction with Spike in it. Of course, this was during the airing of Season two. Anyway, my pairings of choice were the typical - Spike/Buffy or Spike/Xander. Actually, there was this really memorable Spike/Buffy/Xander.

And then Spike came back, was way adored by fans and I kinda went, "Yuck. Who needs that?" And pretty much tried to pretend that I'd never read anything with him in it. For, lo, I am shallow and petty.

Now, I'm kinda liking Spike again. So, I may, sorta, maybe, want to read fanfic. Of the Spike/Xander variety, even.

But I have, you know, requirements. And I have no clue where to find fic that would fit my requirements. So, my question is: Do any of y'all know where to find quality S/X wherein a) Buffy is not bashed, b) Xander's dislike of vampires is dealt with and not glossed over, and c) Xander doesn't cry (because Xander? doesn't cry a lot. He's never cried on screen. We only know of him crying once - when he heard that Joyce died. And even then, he only did it with just Anya around) or break or otherwise act like a total victim?

Actually, Angel/Xander with those specifications would do it for me, too. I used to read A/X back in the day, too, as I recall.