Fic: White Rabbits (Star Wars, 15/?)
Jul. 18th, 2005 02:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyTitle: White Rabbits
Chapter: 15/?
Author: Diana Michelle (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
butterfly)
Warnings: Spoilers for Revenge of the Sith.
Pairing: Eventual Anakin/Obi-Wan.
Rating: PG/PG-13-ish.
Summary: Anakin isn't jealous. He just doesn't want other people touching his things.
Disclaimer: Not Lucas, don't own a thing, not making any money.
Chapter Index
He missed Padmé.
It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling – he often longed for her when he was away with Obi-Wan on missions. But this situation was unlike any he’d encountered before and having her here, by his side, would be a comfort.
And he’d have loved to see her next to Luke and Leia, to compare the children with their mother.
That wasn't possible, but when he got back to the past, he’d just fix things so that he and Padmé would raise Luke and Leia, and Leia’s Jedi Purge will never have happened.
He just had to find out exactly where things went wrong in this future.
Which meant being patient with these people, and that would be a lot easier if they didn’t attack him whenever he was trying to be nice.
Just what had gotten the girl so upset? She’d seemed friendly enough for a minute and then she’d skittered off like he’d lopped off a limb.
Obi-Wan might be mad at him, too, but at least he knew why and had an idea of how to make it better.
And that was a thought.
Anakin reached out to sense Obi-Wan, and was pleasantly surprised to note that Obi-Wan’s anger already seemed to be gone.
Everyone else was in the same place, near the cockpit and with high tempers, but Obi-Wan had managed to find a place as far from them as possible.
Obi-Wan was meditating and, even muted, he was broadcasting waves of soothing energy.
Anakin was already striding toward Obi-Wan’s location before he’d made the conscious decision to go to him.
And the closer he moved to Obi-Wan, the easier it was to think clearly. Obi-Wan might not be connected to the Force right now, but he was still a Jedi, still felt far more like a Jedi than anyone else on this ship.
His first glimpse of Obi-Wan was reassuring – his Master was kneeling, lips moving in a familiar near-silent chant. It was an image that Anakin was loath to disrupt, so he slowed to a careful prowl, edging around the various boxes of stolen goods.
When he finally reached Obi-Wan, Anakin fell to his knees in front of him, mirroring him.
“Yes, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said quietly.
“Master, I wish to apologize,” Anakin said.
Obi-Wan opened his eyes. They were a forgiving and warm blue-green at the moment, and Obi-Wan was smiling, which was generally a good sign.
“And what are you apologizing for?” Obi-Wan asked.
“For not telling you about Padmé,” Anakin said. “I should have accepted the consequences of falling in love with her. I'm sorry.”
Of course, if it hadn’t been for the extremely unlikely circumstance of them getting thrown into the future, Obi-Wan might never have found out…
Well, Luke and Leia were evidence to the contrary, he supposed. Still, it’s not as if he could have predicted that he’d be stupid enough or careless enough to have children.
“I knew,” Obi-Wan said. “I knew that you cared for her, though not the depth of your feelings.”
“So, what do we do now?” Anakin asked.
“What we always do – blunder on ahead, trust to the Force and to each other,” Obi-Wan said.
“You still trust me?” Anakin asked.
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, with a heavy sigh, as if he couldn’t possibly understand why Anakin might be worried about that. “Of course, I trust you.”
“Leia told me that I kill Jedi, in this future of hers,” Anakin said, ducking his head and glancing away from Obi-Wan. “She wasn’t lying, I could tell.”
“Anakin, look at me,” Obi-Wan said softly.
Anakin swallowed hard, and then obeyed. Obi-Wan’s gaze was certain and strong, as always, but there was something different there. Something new, something almost tender. And when he spoke again, his voice was gentle. “You have not done this, not yet. If you do not wish to be a killer, then do not kill.”
“It can’t be that simple,” Anakin whispered.
“It is that simple,” Obi-Wan said. “It just may not be that easy. We don’t know what reasons you’ll think that you have.”
“No reason could ever be good enough,” Anakin said.
“As a Jedi, I would be inclined to agree,” Obi-Wan said dryly, but his hand was settling down on Anakin’s shoulder, softening his words. “But you haven’t done any of that yet, Anakin. We just have to make sure that you don’t.”
Anakin nodded, letting Obi-Wan’s peace seep into him, allowing his breathing to slow down and synchronize with Obi-Wan’s.
“When we get to the
“Yes, Master,” Anakin said, words barely audible. This close, he could feel the blood racing through Obi-Wan’s body, and it was a simple matter to match his heartbeat with Obi-Wan’s. Normally, it wouldn’t take any effort at all, but even with Obi-Wan disconnected from the Force, it was still easier to establish harmony with him than it would be with any other Jedi.
They worked well together. Even the Council was forced to admit that.
“Do you want to practice?” Obi-Wan asked him. Anakin pushed back the sliver of hurt, and nodded, reminding himself that Obi-Wan had just told Anakin he trusted him. “Tell me something about these people.”
“Leia’s angry at me,” Anakin said tonelessly, pushing back the pain from that as well. “I can’t quite see what she’s mad about – she’s blocking me.”
“She’s strong enough to keep you away?” Obi-Wan asked, surprised.
“Strong enough that she’d know if I tried to dig deeper,” Anakin said.
“And the boy?” Obi-Wan asked.
“He’s been taught,” Anakin said. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply for a moment, centering himself again. Obi-Wan’s interest in Luke was… nothing special, nothing to be concerned about.
“By me,” Obi-Wan said.
“Not just you,” Anakin said sharply. He pressed his lips together and then, after a moment, gently reached his mind out toward Luke, trying to keep far enough away that the child wouldn’t sense him.
His eyes flew open and he let out a surprised gasp.
“Master Yoda taught him, as well,” Anakin said. Obi-Wan’s brow furrowed thoughtfully, likely adding that information to whatever Luke had actually told him. “He didn’t mention that to you?”
“He didn’t,” Obi-Wan said. “Curious.”
“Master, should we be concerned about him?” Anakin asked.
“Isn’t he your son?” Obi-Wan asked. “You’d think that you would want to trust him.”
“He’s the one that’s telling us where to go, the one that’s… so happy to see you,” Anakin said. “I worry that he knows more about how we arrived here than he claims.”
“Wouldn’t you be able to sense that?” Obi-Wan asked.
“I’m not sure,” Anakin said reluctantly. “He's very strong and his feelings about seeing us are clouding almost everything else. I’m also fairly sure that he sensed me when I probed him. He just doesn’t seem to mind.”
“He’s that strong?” Obi-Wan asked.
“He’s almost as powerful as I am,” Anakin said, trying to hide his distaste at the thought. Obi-Wan’s contemplative look probably meant that he’d failed.
“Are you jealous, Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked.
“Of course not,” Anakin said quickly. “He’s a fellow Jedi and almost certainly my own son. If anything, I’m proud of his strength.”
“Jealousy is an emotion that does not suit a Jedi Knight,” Obi-Wan said.
“I know that, Master,” Anakin said. “I’m not jealous.”
Obi-Wan gazed at him for a while longer, doubt in his eyes, and Anakin fought the urge to shift as he suddenly felt the strain of being on his knees.
At times like this, Anakin had to remind himself that the benefits of being Obi-Wan’s partner outweighed these not too frequent moments when Obi-Wan managed to make him feel all of nine years old again, dusty and newly arrived at the Temple.
“If you say so,” Obi-Wan said. He rubbed Anakin’s shoulder, his hand strong and warm, even though the layers of fabric, and then he stood up gracefully.
He sighed, glancing away from Anakin, his thoughts unreadable. All of a sudden, Obi-Wan felt very far away, and Anakin disliked that feeling immensely.
Just as Anakin was trying to figure out if he’d done anything else wrong, Obi-Wan looked back down at him and held out a hand.
“Shall we march back into the fray, my friend?” Obi-Wan asked. Anakin clasped Obi-Wan’s hand gratefully, pulling himself up. “And face the uncertain future?
“It definitely sounds one of our plans,” Anakin said. “Lunch at Dex’s when we get back to the past?”
“It’s a deal,” Obi-Wan said, squeezing Anakin’s hand once before releasing it.
“You’re paying,” Anakin said.
“And why would I do that?” Obi-Wan asked.
“You still owe me for saving your skin two missions ago,” Anakin said. “We haven’t been back yet, remember?”
“Oh, yes, now I do,” Obi-Wan said. “It’s the fifth time, yes?”
“The sixth, Master,” Anakin corrected.
“Ah, so it is,” Obi-Wan said, with a wink. “Very well, I’ll pay.”
“And I know just what I’m going to order,” Anakin teased.
“The same thing that you always order when I’m paying, I expect,” Obi-Wan muttered good-naturedly. “Two helpings of most expensive items that you can stomach.”
“It’s not my fault that I get cravings,” Anakin said.
“Yet, oddly enough, you never crave coddled Bherrid eggs when you’re paying,” Obi-Wan said.
“It’s one of those great mysteries,” Anakin said lightly. “Like what really caused the dark energy on Dagobah, why Master Windu only ever seems to need to practice when I’ve reserved special time, just what makes the sky on Mar’ur’sua green, and whether or not Master Yoda knows about that smell near his rooms.”
Obi-Wan was chuckling by the time Anakin had finished and Anakin smiled to himself.
He’d be willing to bet that Luke had never made Obi-Wan laugh like that, even if the child had convinced Obi-Wan to train him.
When he and Obi-Wan got back to the past, Anakin would change things so that he taught Luke, instead. That would be much more fitting.
And on occasion, just to himself, Anakin was willing to admit that he had a small streak of selfishness. And the simple truth was that Obi-Wan was his Master, just as Padmé was his wife. He certainly couldn't imagine wanting Padmé to marry anyone else.
Obi-Wan was his Master.
Anakin just wanted to keep it that way.
There wasn't anything wrong with that.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-18 10:14 am (UTC)Obi-Wan has seen to the heart of the trouble.
Anakin, on the other hand, is trying to monopolize everyone who seems connected to him. Creepy, but not surprising. I bet he'll be shocked when he realizes how Luke just won't play that game.
I love that both of them aren't quite sure of what to make of Luke. He's very different from the Jedi they're used to. And they don't know where Luke's handles are.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 08:44 pm (UTC)Anakin, on the other hand, is trying to monopolize everyone who seems connected to him. Creepy, but not surprising. I bet he'll be shocked when he realizes how Luke just won't play that game.
Anakin is definitely a possessive little thing.
I love that both of them aren't quite sure of what to make of Luke. He's very different from the Jedi they're used to. And they don't know where Luke's handles are.
He really is different from the old style of Jedi. Something new.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-18 11:35 am (UTC)Was very amused about the "as if he chopped off a limb" simile, which was Wrong Of Me.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 08:48 pm (UTC)Ah, that dark side inducing possessive streak of Anakin's. And the plot thickens. I'm really curious now about the first conversation between Luke and Anakin without anyone else present.
Anakin's possessiveness is bound to get him into trouble someday.
*nods wisely*
But yes, it's definitely not one of his better traits.
Was very amused about the "as if he chopped off a limb" simile, which was Wrong Of Me.
Hee. Thanks.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-18 12:58 pm (UTC)Anakin just wanted to keep it that way.
There wasn't anything wrong with that
No, nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. And if you believe that I have a nice little gas mine for sale on Bespin.
I can't wait to see what happens next.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 08:51 pm (UTC)No, nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. And if you believe that I have a nice little gas mine for sale on Bespin.
Hee. Yes, Anakin is as good at tricking himself as anyone else.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-18 02:40 pm (UTC)The Luke probe, Obi-Wan's insight, Anakin's possessiveness (which I don't actually like, but is completely in character). Yes.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 08:53 pm (UTC)Anakin's possessiveness is bound to bite him on the ass at some point, I'm sure.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-18 09:58 pm (UTC)Obi-Wan was his Master.
Anakin just wanted to keep it that way.
There wasn't anything wrong with that.
Right... you just keep telling yourself that Anakin.
I love that Obi-Wan is so calm in this part.
Everyone else was in the same place, near the cockpit and with high tempers, but Obi-Wan had managed to find a place as far from them as possible.
I'm anxious to find out what has everyone else in high tempers. Most likely arguing about Anakin/Darth Vader but honestly it could be just about anything.
Also... is Anakin going to reset C3P0 anytime soon, it should be very interesting when he does.
More soon?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 08:58 pm (UTC)Right... you just keep telling yourself that Anakin.
Oh, I am certain that he will.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 12:53 am (UTC)It's telling, so telling, that Anakin wants to not kill people in the future, but he NEVER considers not having Leia&Luke-- even after he acknowledges that it was a stupid and careless thing for him to have done.
When he and Obi-Wan got back to the past, Anakin would change things so that he taught Luke, instead. That would be much more fitting.
I love that! Always justifying himself.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 09:01 pm (UTC)Thank you! The reason that I'm writing SW fic in the first place is because the characters have really captured my imagination. I think that they're quite interesting on both the personal and epic levels.
It's telling, so telling, that Anakin wants to not kill people in the future, but he NEVER considers not having Leia&Luke-- even after he acknowledges that it was a stupid and careless thing for him to have done.
It says quite a bit about him.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 01:12 am (UTC)~AF
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 09:02 pm (UTC)And yes, I often have the twin desires to hug Anakin and then lightly smack him upside the head. Love him, but he's very frustrating.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 01:17 am (UTC)Of course Anakin would want to stop himself from killing Jedi in the future, but not from having Leia&Luke (even after admiting it was a stupid and careless thing for him to do!).
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 08:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-19 09:04 pm (UTC)He wants it all, exactly. Anakin doesn't want to have to choose between anything he wants.
re: Fic: White Rabbits (Star Wars, 15: Harmony and Certainty
Date: 2006-03-13 07:41 pm (UTC)Re: Fic: White Rabbits (Star Wars, 15: Harmony and Certainty
Date: 2006-04-06 09:28 am (UTC)Thank you! I find Anakin an absolutely fascinating character and I really enjoy writing him. He goes so wrong, but even there, he does make sense, from his point of view.