Fic: White Rabbits (Star Wars, 12/?)
Jul. 14th, 2005 01:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyChapter: 12/?
Author: Diana Michelle (
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
butterfly)Warnings: Spoilers for Revenge of the Sith.
Pairing: Eventual Anakin/Obi-Wan.
Rating: PG/PG-13-ish.
Summary: Luke knows that attachment doesn't have to be a path to the dark side. Obi-Wan... doesn't.
Disclaimer: Not Lucas, don't own a thing, not making any money.
Chapter Index
“Han, you remember where the old
“From when we visited it six months ago, you mean? Yeah, I just might be able to find it,” Han said, the edge in his voice attracting Luke’s attention.
“What’s wrong?” Luke asked.
“Did you maybe wonder if I would have liked a little warning about having Darth Vader on my ship?” Han asked.
“Oh, that,” Luke said.
“Yeah. That.”
“It’s not like we were expecting him,” Luke said.
“No, but you knew who he was!” Han said.
“My father,” Luke said. “That’s who he is… or will be. And he's not all bad, Han.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not keyed into the universe the way you Skywalkers are,” Han grumbled. “I just… would really appreciate a head’s-up next time.”
“The next time my father visits from the past, you’ll be the first person I tell,” Luke said.
“Oh, yes, very cute,” Han said. “It makes me uncomfortable, that’s all.”
“Well, he’s in a hurry to leave, so you probably won’t be around him for long,” Luke said. “As soon as we figure out what happened, he’s going to be trying to reverse it…”
“And you’ll lose your dad again,” Han said. “Hell, I’m sorry, Luke. I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s just… seeing him and seeing Obi-Wan like this… I never thought that I’d have the chance to know what they were like when they were young,” Luke said.
“So, part of you wishes that they weren’t so eager to leave,” Han said. “That they saw this the same way that you do.” Han wrapped an arm around Luke’s shoulder in a quick half-hug. “Okay, I’ll just get us over the
“Thanks, Han,” Luke said.
“Anytime, you know that.”
Han rubbed Luke’s back reassuringly, and then headed off for the cockpit.
Luke searched for Obi-Wan’s presence and it led him right to the cargo bay, where Obi-Wan was leaning against a large box of… well, Luke was reasonably sure that they were sanctioned goods. They hadn't been there the other day, but that didn't mean anything suspicious. Perfectly ordinary legal cargo, definitely.
Obi-Wan looked up at Luke’s approach and Luke felt, again, the shocking youth of the man in front of him. Obi-Wan might be more than ten years Luke’s elder, but even the beard couldn’t overcome the smoothness of his skin and youthfulness of his features. It made it that much easier to think of him as Obi-Wan, and not as old Ben.
“It’s all true, then,” Obi-Wan said.
“So, Anakin you’ll believe,” Luke said.
“Anakin has been my-” Obi-Wan cut himself off, staring off past Luke. “I’ve spent the last twelve years of my life training him. Knowing that I allowed… my affection for him to cloud my judgment…” Obi-Wan let out a long, heavy breath. “You are living proof that he valued one person over the will of the Force, over the entire Jedi Order. That he did not listen to anything that I taught him. That I failed.”
“Maybe it’s not as clear-cut as that,” Luke said, moving closer to Obi-Wan. “Maybe you just need to look at it from a different point of view.”
“Enlighten me,” Obi-Wan said. Luke was pretty sure that Obi-Wan hadn’t been this much of a smart-ass when he’d been older.
“Look, I don’t have any of the answers,” Luke said, leaning forward. “All of us are just… fumbling around in the dark.”
“Some of us more literally than others,” Obi-Wan said.
Obi-Wan reached out, lightly cupping Luke’s face with a shaking hand, studying Luke with a fierce intensity. Luke knew that Obi-Wan wasn’t using the Force, but his focus still stood out like a beacon, illuminating the shadows.
“Why didn’t I tell you what a Sith is?” Obi-Wan asked. “What else didn’t I tell you?”
“Obi-Wan…”
“Go back to Anakin, Luke,” Obi-Wan said softly. “Get to know your father. From what you’ve told me, you may not get another chance.”
“Come with me,” Luke said, reaching up and taking Obi-Wan’s hand in his own real one.
“If Anakin needs to speak to me, he’ll find me,” Obi-Wan said. He squeezed Luke’s hand gently, then pulled away. “For my part, I can think of nothing that I wish to say to him.”
“So, what, you’re going to brood down here until we get to the
“I plan to meditate,” Obi-Wan said. “You’ve implied a great many things about what I’ll see when we arrive and I should try to prepare myself.”
“Good luck with that,” Luke said. Obi-Wan smiled for just a moment, then closed his eyes, making it quite clear that he was done talking to Luke.
It was hard, leaving the room, leaving Obi-Wan behind. And Luke couldn’t stop himself from glancing back when he reached the curve in the corridor.
Obi-Wan was on his knees now, perfectly still, brow furrowed. There was a helpless yearning coming off of him in waves – Luke was sure that Anakin could feel it too, wherever he was, and that Anakin knew the reason as well as Luke himself did.
Obi-Wan was reaching for the Force. He was stretching out his awareness, trying to lose himself in the gentle ebb and flow that Luke could feel pulsing all around them.
Obi-Wan kept trying, over and over.
And he was failing, every time.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-14 08:56 am (UTC)I love the idea of Luke getting to know Anakin.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-15 09:33 am (UTC)I love the idea of Luke getting to know Anakin.
So do I! The author should explore that!
*pauses*
Wait, that's me, isn't it?
I should totally explore that!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-14 01:19 pm (UTC)“Maybe it’s not as clear-cut as that,” Luke said, moving closer to Obi-Wan. “Maybe you just need to look at it from a different point of view.”
Ah, irony. And true. Obi-Wan unable to reach the force, and feeling betrayed makes one hurt for him, especially considering that Anakin/Padmé is so harmless compared to what he'll find out soon.
Now I'm looking forward to both the Anakin and Luke and the inevitable Anakin and Obi-Wan conversations!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-15 09:35 am (UTC)Thank you!
Obi-Wan unable to reach the force, and feeling betrayed makes one hurt for him, especially considering that Anakin/Padmé is so harmless compared to what he'll find out soon.
Not his best day ever, definitely.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-14 04:32 pm (UTC)I always thought if Anakin hadn't turned and been a real father to Luke and Leia, he would have mostly connected with Leia whereas Luke would have been Padme's boy. They just share the same passionate approach to life and to emotional pain they seem to react with attack mode whereas Luke withdraws when he's hurt.
Well, your story made me realize that Luke has similarities to Obi-Wan. They both can get very angry and close to the Dark Side. It happens to both of them when a father figure is concerned, i.e. Luke gets emotional in his fights versus Vader, Obi-Wan moves close to the dark side when he fights Maul after Qui-Gon was wounded. But they are very good in controlling their emotions. In fact, they sometimes reign them in too strongly. Luke in ROTJ for example is very detached; he's trying so hard to not give in to his darker thoughts.
Now Luke seems to keep his distance from Anakin in your story. I was thinking about why that might be apart from Luke feeling comfortable with Obi-Wan. A
nother reason I can see is: Luke has for most of his life hero-worshipped his "dead" father. Then he learned the truth that Vader is his father. So all his dreams were shattered until he tried to think about what his father *used* to be like before he turned. And he reinvents his dreams of Anakin. At the point of your story I think he's wary to get too close to Anakin, because he's afraid he might be disappointed. Now he has the chance to see the real Heroic!Anakin whom he has imagined so many times and is afraid to see if he lives up to his imagination.
Sorry for writing so much and it's not even a real review. But I find your story very thought inspiring. You get all the characters just right!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-15 09:56 am (UTC)And please feel free to write all you like -- I very much enjoyed reading it. It's wonderful to see that so much of my intent (and some wonderful things that I did not intend) are coming through.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-13 06:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-19 10:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-14 04:54 pm (UTC)Very thight chapter here, it seemed that every word fir perfectly. Smooth.
Also, yay Han snark!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-15 09:58 am (UTC)And yes, poor Obi-Wan. I doubt it's any comfort to him that I hurt because I love.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-14 07:36 pm (UTC)Poor Han is so very very unhappy about that little detail.
well, Luke was reasonably sure that they were sanctioned goods. They hadn't been there the other day, but that didn't mean anything suspicious. Perfectly ordinary legal cargo, definitely.
Oh, Luke is good at denial too! Is that a Jedi skill?
And he was failing, every time.
So disturbingly not good. I have to wonder if part of it is some sort of interference from BlueGhost!Obi-Wan.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-15 10:00 am (UTC)Poor Han is so very very unhappy about that little detail.
I can't understand why. So the man froze him in carbonite once. Can't bygones be bygones?
*grins*
Oh, Luke is good at denial too! Is that a Jedi skill?
It must be!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-15 12:09 am (UTC)Wonderful chapter as usual, love how Han is so Han in this; all incredulous 'Why didn't you tell me?' and concern for Luke. So much love. Also terribly fascinated by Obi-Wan's lack of ability to touch the force. Curious.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-15 10:01 am (UTC)I'm very glad that Han worked well. He's not as comfortable as some of the others, for me.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-15 01:18 am (UTC)“The next time my father visits from the past, you’ll be the first person I tell,” Luke said.
“Oh, yes, very cute,” Han said. “It makes me uncomfortable, that’s all.”
I can just see Luke's eyes rolling when he says this.
Also the bit about the 'they have to be sanctioned goods because Han would surely not be smuggling' denial was spot on.
“Why didn’t I tell you what a Sith is?” Obi-Wan asked. “What else didn’t I tell you?”
I've wondered about this since Lucas named those Jedi that operate under the Dark Side of the Force. Was it protection, denial... Obi-Wan had some form of memory loss between the RoTS and ANH? Inquiring minds want to know.
“If Anakin needs to speak to me, he’ll find me,” Obi-Wan said. He squeezed Luke’s hand gently, then pulled away. “For my part, I can think of nothing that I wish to say to him.”
“So, what, you’re going to brood down here until we get to the Temple?” Luke asked.
“I plan to meditate,” Obi-Wan said. “You’ve implied a great many things about what I’ll see when we arrive and I should try to prepare myself.”
Ok... Obi-Wan the ships not that big, you're going to run into him eventually. And probably way before you're ready to.
Also the brooding... 'I plan to meditate...' exchange was priceless. I may have snickered a few times.
And, ouch to Obi-Wan still not being able to access the Force. You are going to eventually give him his powers back right? Right?!
Wow... I, uh, didn't mean to quote the whole story back to you. I'm glad that you are updating as quickly as you are.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-15 10:02 am (UTC)Okay... Do not tempt me with the cute, oh so cute Han/Luke (that's my other Star Wars OTP) interaction.
They are cute, though.
re: Fic: White Rabbits (Star Wars, 12: Serenity
Date: 2006-03-13 06:00 pm (UTC)I do like the interaction between Luke and Han at the beginning--it seems just like something that would happen. :)
And Obi-Wan being so sarcastic was a bit of a shock to Luke. We see some of that in ole Ben, but twenty years of Tatooine and his grief took a lot out of Ben, I suspect.
And the last scene--one is reminded of Yoda's words about there is no try. :(
Re: Fic: White Rabbits (Star Wars, 12: Serenity
Date: 2006-04-06 09:04 am (UTC)I do believe you are right.
I do like the interaction between Luke and Han at the beginning--it seems just like something that would happen. :)
Thank you.
And Obi-Wan being so sarcastic was a bit of a shock to Luke. We see some of that in ole Ben, but twenty years of Tatooine and his grief took a lot out of Ben, I suspect.
Exactly, yes.
And the last scene--one is reminded of Yoda's words about there is no try. :(
Very true, yes.