![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyWe open on Stefan lying on the cot in the cell, sweaty and fuzzy. We go into a flashback - torches and Jonathan Gilbert leading the other men. A young man, unconscious from vervain, is slipped into a muzzle (I believe this is Henry, who we meet in the present day in this episode) and placed into the wagon.
From the brush, Damon and Stefan watch. Stefan volunteers to distract the vampire hunters while Damon circles around to free Katherine. He yells out that he's found another vampire, and the hunters follow him, leaving only one man with the wagon. Damon punches the man, knocking him back against the wagon and knocking him out, and rifles his pockets for the key. As Damon unlocks the door, Stefan catches back up to him, warning him that they don't have long.
They pull Katherine out of the wagon, take off her muzzle and begin to untie her. As they work, there's a gunshot - Damon goes down and Stefan immediately moves over to him and he watches as his brother dies. I would say that this is a defining moment for Stefan - he watched his brother die. Notice what he does afterward - he doesn't go for Katherine, he goes for a gun, to shoot the person who shot his brother. He doesn't know until later who it is (that it's his father) but he doesn't care who it is. But he gets shot instead.
He falls to the ground and Katherine makes a noise and he looks at her, and then his eyes return to Damon, still and growing cold, and then back to Katherine. We hear Damon's voice (from the present), and we hear Elena - she says "I love you, Stefan," and we switch back to the past to see Katherine saying the same thing - did she, really, or is Stefan transposing Elena's words onto Katherine?
The men are racing back and they put Katherine back in the wagon. In the present, Damon is stroking Elena's shoulders and leading her back out of the cell. Katherine watches Stefan as the wagon pulls away, and Elena spends a moment longer staring at Stefan in the cell before she leaves.
Another day, Stefan is still on the cot and Elena is back at the bars.
"It's so hard to see him locked up like this," she tells Damon.
"You're the one who locked him up."
"You helped."
"I couldn't have him running around chewing on people while the town was looking for vampires, could I?"
"It had nothing to do with you actually caring about him?"
"Your thing, not mine."
Elena knows better than to buy the BS that Damon is selling. She takes another look at Stefan, and then leaves again, while Stefan broods against the wall.
Now, he's remembering waking up for the first time after his death. He's by the lake. He investigates the mystery of his bloody shirt with no wound underneath and he notices the ring on his finger.
"Katherine had me make that for you weeks ago," Emily tells him.
"Where am I?"
"The quarry. Just north of town. My brother and I brought you here last night."
I'm suspecting that her brother was someone who lived in Mystic Falls, not someone travelling with Katherine - we know that the Bennett line settled in the Mystic Falls area a century before the town was officially a town. Actually... hmm, do we know if Emily was travelling at all with Katherine? The woman who arrived with Katherine was not Emily. It could be that part of the reason that Katherine went to Mystic Falls was to connect with Emily - then again, the first time we see Katherine is in the day, thus she already has her ring. On the other hand, just because that's when Stefan and the Salvatores think she got there, doesn't mean that it's true.
"We found you dead in the woods."
"Where's Damon?"
She looks over and Stefan turns, seeing Damon sitting (shirtless) by the side of the lake. As one does. After staring at Damon for a long moment, he turns to Emily, to haltingly try to ask her the big question ("vampire?") - she tells him that he's 'in transition'. He learns that Katherine has been compelling him to drink her blood 'for weeks'. And she also shares that Damon drank willingly from Katherine.
Stefan goes to Damon on the lakeside.
"I woke up last night - I didn't know where I was," Damon tells him. "I went to the church and I watched them drag her inside. Then they set fire to it. The whole church went up into flames. They killed her, Stefan. She's gone."
Back in the present, Damon is inspecting the mysterious Gilbert artifact. Elena comes into the room and asks if Damon's figured it out yet. Nope. Elena is folding some of her clothes while she and Damon talk.
"Have you spoken to your uncle lately?"
"I've been avoiding him, actually. That and I've been here most nights."
"So, you'll be here again tonight?"
"Is that a problem?"
"Yes. You are a complete nuisance."
Elena knows exactly how seriously to take that (not at all) and tells Damon that she'll see him later. So, has Elena been sleeping on the couch (where her stuff was)? Has she been sleeping in Stefan's room or would that be too weird under the circumstances. I wonder if maybe Elena's explanation to Jenna was that Stefan is very sick right now - it would explain why he had to skip out on the Founders' court thing and it would explain why she's spending all that time at the Salvatores.
Anna surprises Jeremy at school. She's starting school with him, beginning tomorrow. Jeremy can't get why Anna wants to go back to high school so much, but then Anna implies and Jeremy realizes that she is, in fact, going there just so that she can spend more time with Jeremy. Jeremy is flattered and they kiss.
Stefan is moping in the cell when Damon comes by with some (animal) blood. Stefan doesn't want it. Damon thinks that he's being an idiot.
"The human blood should be gone by now. You wanna explain why you're still in here, feeling sorry for yourself?"
Damon knocks the bottle of blood through the window and into the cell, telling Stefan to drink. Stefan looks at the blood, and then mopes himself back into looking at the ground. Damon continues to think that Stefan is being an idiot.
Damon gets a phone call from Alaric - Damon had not been aware that Alaric had his number (my theory: he asked Elena for it and she gave it to him). Anyway, Alaric has been investigating John and he wants to know if Damon is interesting in the fruits of his labors. Alaric has an investigator friend from Duke who ran a trace on the calls that John has been getting - first, he confirms that John and Isobel were in communication, no surprise to anyone - but he adds that a new number has been calling John a lot recently - a number from Grove Hill, nearby town. Alaric isn't sure if Isobel is there, but he thinks that he and Damon should check it out.
Damon wants the address so that he can go by himself; Alaric isn't happy with that and refuses to give it. They briefly snark about their respective murder attempts on each other. Then Damon gets another call - he puts Alaric on hold so that he can talk to Elena.
"I'm just grabbing some clothes and then I'll be right over. How's Stefan?"
"Extra broody."
He switches back over to Alaric and quickly arranges for Alaric to pick him up in an hour, then switches back over to Elena and settles himself in a chair so that he can enjoy his conversation with Elena without interruptions. I'm guessing that the negotiations with Alaric might have gone on for a lot longer if Elena hadn't called.
"He won't eat anything."
"He has to eat. What's his favorite... kind of..."
"His favorite kind of what?"
"Type of animal blood that he prefers?"
"Ewww, gross."
"Your joking doesn't help."
"Helps me. Hurry up, I can't babysit all night. I have things to do."
"I would say 'drop dead' but..."
"Ha. Stefan likes... puppy blood. Little golden retriever puppies, cute with floppy ears. That's his favorite."
Elena has her own silent 'ew' moment and hangs up on Damon. They've settled into this teasing but affectionate back-and-forth. It's really quite cute. Anyway, as she turns around, there's Uncle John. She doesn't really want to deal with him.
"I thought we could talk," John says. "We haven't had a chance to catch up."
"I'm actually just heading out, so..."
"Oh, won't take long."
"What'd you want to talk about?"
"I know you know."
"Know what?"
"It's really silly to keep pretending. What do you think your mother would say if she knew you were dating a vampire?"
"Which mother?"
Ha, John can't even win a battle of knowledge against a non-supernatural teenage girl. Elena lets John make himself some rope by letting him direct the conversation, and then neatly hangs him with it and heads out.
Stefan mopes some more, glancing up and looking at the bottle of blood and going into another flashback.
"I bet Jonathan Gilbert has told father by now. I wonder how he took the news that we're dead."
"As if he cares. He betrayed us."
"He thought he was protecting us, Damon. He thought he was protecting this town."
"God, the sun hurts my eyes."
"It's part of it. Muscle aches... the sick feeling. Emily says it's our bodies pushing us to feed. To complete the transition."
"That's not gonna happen."
"Is that your choice, then? To die instead?"
"Isn't it yours? This was all to be with Katherine. She's gone. I want it over."
What's the point of eternity without the person you love? That's the question that Damon is facing. He was in love with Katherine, and thus he accepted everything that came along with her - her murders, etc. He'd already made the decision to become a vampire for Katherine's sake, while Stefan hadn't yet confronted the question. Stefan is being faced with it all at once, and he's not sure that he wants to die. Except that Damon does want to die and - well, what's the point of eternity without the person that you love most?
In the present, Stefan is staring at the bottle o' blood. Elena asks him how he's feeling, tells him to eat.
"You can't survive without it."
"I don't want to survive."
"What? Don't say that."
"I'm sorry, Elena, no more. After what I've done, it has to end. I just want it over."
Elena has gone upstairs to talk to Damon, who is not impressed by Stefan's sulking.
"You know, he's just being dramatic. He's not going to starve himself."
"Why would he say that?"
"He feels bad about hurting that girl. It's very typical Stefan martyr stuff. It will pass."
"Will it? Because he seemed to be in a lot of pain."
"Yeah, well, that will pass, too, once he eats."
"I didn't mean physical pain."
I know what you meant. Look, are you going to be okay here if I have to run out? I have to go do an errand with the teacher."
"The teacher? Alaric? Are you two friends now?"
"I don't have any friends, Elena."
"Right."
"You should... you should stay up here. You shouldn't be down there by yourself."
"I'll be fine."
"You know, you're very trusting of him, given the circumstances."
"So are you. Otherwise, you wouldn't be leaving."
Damon-Elena conversations just always make me so happy. Would totally watch an hour of them just having a conversation. It would be delightful. Anyway, Elena has Damon's number here - she can tell when he's just putting up that front of his. The only thing she really underestimates up through the end of "The Return" is the extent to which she matters to him - she's guessed that he cares about her, like she does care about him (and thus wouldn't want her to get hurt), but she doesn't know that he's in love with her. Elena has managed to pick on Stefan's extra-mopey-ness, but there's really no way to know if Damon was right about just letting him sit there until he gave up and drank the animal blood. The process got cut off.
At the Grill, John is doing some drinking. He's meeting up with Pearl, supposedly about the sale of the medical office. Once again, John immediately gives up the game and lets Pearl know that he knows about her. John has exactly one item in his bag of tricks and he will use it until it works on someone, damn it. So, Pearl basically shrugs and gets on with real business, since John has no interest in verbal fencing. John is also under the impression that he has the 'Gilbert charm'. John, if there is such a thing as 'anti-charm', that is what you have.
Jeremy and Anna are talking history - Jonathan's betrayal of Pearl, at the moment. Anna's pretty much filled Jeremy in on everything. Anna is getting bored with history. She wants make-out times.
I never got to say goodbye to you, my friend, the music tells us. That pretty much ends up being the case, yeah. They start shedding clothes. And I swear I can feel you, creeping underneath my skin. It feels like heaven to me.
When Jeremy mentions the possibility of Jenna walking in, Anna lets him know that Jenna is in the kitchen - Anna can hear her. Jeremy finds this extremely attractive.
Alaric and Damon are walking up to the mystery apartment that's been calling John Gilbert. It's been paid for three months in advance. Damon's here to give us some vampire wiggle-room.
"This is where it gets tricky. I may or may not be able to get in."
"How does that work? You always have to be invited in?"
"By the owner or person of entitlement. Short-term rentals and hotels are a bit of gray area. You kinda gotta play it by ear."
This is useful information - it's nice for the audience to have a clear statement, but it's one that leaves space for the future, if they decide they want a vampire to be able to enter a living space of a particular kind.
Alaric requests that they not kill anyone tonight.
"You mean, you just brought me along for my company?" Damon asks, while twisting the knob (breaking the lock?). Damon waves for Alaric to enter first, and Damon tests the entrance, finding that he has no problems going in. They start searching and, in the fridge, Damon finds some bags of blood. The vampire who owns that bags attacks Alaric - Alaric jabs something into him and gets him off, then Damon breaks it up, recognizing the vampire.
"Your name's Henry - you were in the tomb."
"Yes, sir. What are you doing here?"
Back at the Salvatore place, Elena is staring at Stefan through the bars again. Stefan is still sitting and brooding and having flashbacks.
That night, he went back to his house. He could hear his father talking to Jonathan Gilbert and he listened, hearing an interesting topic of conversation.
"I want to make sure the founders' archives are accurate."
"Be sure you document the loss of civilian life in the church."
"They were hardly civilians, Mr. Salvatore."
"As far as anyone needs to know, they were. As the record-maker for the council, what you write will be passed down through generations. Certain details should be kept only between you and me."
"For example?"
"My sons. They will be remembered as the innocent victims of the battle of Willow Creek, not for their shame."
"Certainly, Mr. Salvatore."
Damon doesn't hear this conversation, but he didn't need to hear it. He already knew this part of their father, though Stefan had been shielded from seeing it before because he was considered the good son.
Back in the present, Stefan tells Elena that Damon hasn't been feeding him vervain recently. He tells her that he could totally kill her. She's all... 'whatever, dude'. He wants her to leave. She takes this as an invitation to open the cell door and go inside. Stefan is all 'wtf?'
"You're taking a stupid risk. I could hurt you."
"Then I'm stupid."
She picks up the bottle of blood and shoves it in his face, telling him to drink. He smacks the blood out of her hand, goes all vein-y, and yells at her to get out. She's like, dude, whatever, you don't scare me. And Stefan gives up trying to scare her away and goes and mopes back to his cot.
Henry is pouring Damon a glass of blood, asking Damon and Alaric how they know John. Henry is the one person in the whole world who appears to genuinely like John Gilbert. Damon claims a long-standing friendship with John. Henry lets us know that John picked him up after he got out of the tomb and has been helping him out by teaching him about the current times. Alaric tries fishing for information on Isobel but when Henry gets nervous/confused, Damon clarifies - woman named Isobel, know her? Nope. John is Henry's only real friend.
That's probably the saddest sentence ever.
Alaric asks what Henry does for John in return for all this generosity, and Henry lets us know that he's been spying on 'the others'. And so Damon and Alaric learn that the vampires from the tomb are still around and still pissed off. I'm so amused at how Henry is completely over the fact that the 1864 Mystic Falls people tried to burn him alive. He's actually living the idea that Pearl was talking about - about letting go of revenge and moving on.
Henry gets a call from John and Damon collects the phone from Henry. After Damon doesn't actually answer it, Henry gets suspicious. He realizes that this is not actually the get-together of people who love John and turns to attack Alaric. Damon grabs him and Alaric stakes him.
"Let's not kill anyone tonight. Your words. Just pointing that out."
John gets back from his failed phone call to Henry. Pearl asks him why she should give him what he wants - he claims that he could be her key to living peacefully in Mystic Falls. Then he and Pearl start to get nostalgic over Jonathan and his journals. John can't help screwing with Pearl - first, he builds her up by telling her that betraying her was Jonathan's 'one regret' and then he laughs at her for considering believing him about that.
"Good God, you vampires. You're so emotional."
They talk about this more in S2 - vampires are like humans but magnified and channeled. Everything that you felt as a human is still there, but more extreme (and, when you're young, you can shut down those over-strong emotions to keep them from overwhelming you and preventing you from feeding, if necessary). Everything is more - stronger, faster, better senses, more powerful emotions. And those are magnified even further if you're drinking human blood rather than animal blood.
"I gave it to Damon," Pearl tells him. She doesn't want to ever deal with him ever again, so she's letting him know that she doesn't have what he wants. Let him screw with Damon, if he must screw with a vampire. It's... an emotional rather than strategic reaction on her part, because now he has no reason to keep her alive (if she'd hidden it or something). It's Damon that he needs to get it from.
"What?"
"I gave your device to Damon - why don't you ask him for it yourself? I'm sure he'd be delighted to give it to you. And then, Mr. Gilbert, may you rot in hell."
She gets up and leaves and John starts to think about a new strategy.
Elena has gone over to sit next to Stefan on the cot. Yep, he's still brooding. She wants him to have a conversation with her. She wants to know why.
"I'm making the decision that I should have made years ago."
"What are you talking about?"
"You have to feed in order to complete the transition."
"I know that."
"It was a choice I shouldn't've made."
Yes, obviously, after finding a person that you love deeply, who loves you enough to go through hell for you and to support you, is exactly the time to commit suicide.
Eh, on the one hand, I don't mean to diminish Stefan's pain - he's hurting and sad and... stuff (I've been in a place where I considered suicide, a few years back). On the other hand, look at your freaking life, Stefan. Yes, you did something horrible - and the person who loves you was there for you in the aftermath (along with the brother that, incidentally, you talked into living forever with you). Goodness, get over yourself and look at the people in your life who care enough about you to put up with your brooding ass and maybe appreciate them. Sheesh.
Back to the flashback - Stefan is confronting his father in his study. Mr. Salvatore is not particularly comforted by seeing his dead son come back to life.
"Even in our death, you only feel shame?"
"You're one of them now."
"No. Father, I came to say goodbye."
"I watched you die."
"You were there when we were shot?"
"I pulled the trigger myself."
"You killed your own sons?"
"You were both dead to me the moment you sided with the vampires. I only thank God that your mother isn't alive to see the disgrace you've brought on-"
"I haven't turned yet. I don't want to. I'm going to let myself die. Father, please."
"Yes, you are."
And then Mr. Salvatore attacks Stefan with a stake that he makes out of a... cane? Something made of wood that he cracks in half. He goes toward Stefan and Stefan defends himself, pushing his father away into the wall, where his dad has managed to stab himself with the stake. Good job, there, Papa Salvatore. Stefan rushes over to check on his father, pulling the stake out. And then he's distracted by the blood on the wood. It's come off on his fingers. And, as his father watches in horror, Stefan tastes the blood. He pushes his father's hands away from the wound and dips his fingers into it, getting more blood. As he sucks it off his fingers, his vampire face emerges for the first time.
In the present, Stefan is waiting for Elena to recoil in horror. Hasn't happened yet.
"We have to be able to talk about these things, Stefan. I need to hear them. Come upstairs. We can talk about it more and we'll keep talking as long as you need."
If we assume that Stefan related this story accurately, then Elena has something to balance against the horror of hearing that Stefan ate his father - hearing that the elder Salvatore was willing to kill his sons and then willing to attack and kill Stefan a second time. Plus, Elena has been spending the last few months getting desensitized to vampire horror. She saw the bite marks on Caroline - she saw Damon attack Bonnie - and she has still grown to trust Damon (and to enjoy his company). Elena is not anything close to the place that Stefan was on discovering Katherine's nature, nor is she in the place she was when she first learned that Stefan was a vampire. There's still a lot that she doesn't get about vampires, but she's been learning a lot.
Elena thinks that Stefan is ready and she gives him back his daywalker ring, telling him to come upstairs when he feels like he's ready, too. And so she leaves the door open. This is one of those times when Elena is so close, but not quite there (like in "The Return", when she almost understands where Damon's head is at but underestimates his feelings - she's doing the same thing here with Stefan's feelings of guilt. I think she doesn't quite realize how powerful and potentially overwhelming feelings are when you're a vampire. "So emotional" as John says. They're people amped up to eleven and with bonus hunting urges and bloodlust).
Alaric has found nothing in Henry's place. All Damon's found is blood and some beer (he gives the latter to Alaric). Damon says something ("What did you think you'd find - Isobel with a cigar and some slippers?") that Alaric finds genuinely amusing. After he laughs - partly at himself, he says that he needs to get over it. Get over Isobel.
"Really, after only two years? That's actually... moderately healthy."
"What are you going on, a hundred and forty-six?"
"I figured the two-hundred mark is probably a good stopping point."
"I mean, no answer is enough. I keep thinking that I want to know why, when, you know, the precise moment when my wife decided life with me wasn't enough."
"She charmed me, your wife, Isobel. She talked a big game, man, she was smart. She had this excitement in her eyes. I probably should have known there was something different about her. Some tie to Katherine. Gotta be some reason that I didn't kill her."
That kinda killed the friendly mood for Alaric. He doesn't think that he's going to like any of the answers that he might get from this search for Isobel. He's done with the whole thing. No more searching for Isobel. For Damon, he knows that a large part of the reason that killing Elena was never on the table in the beginning was her resemblance to Katherine - and, too, there was that fire and that reasoning intelligence. That seems to be genetic (which isn't to say that they aren't capable of stupid plans - like Isobel chasing forever in the form of vampires and Elena chasing self-sacrifice in 2x10 - but they're clever, intelligent people overall).
Anna gets back to find her mother packing. Pearl tells Anna that staying isn't possible - too many people know who they are here. It's too dangerous. Pearl accuses Anna of only wanting to stay for Jeremy but Anna says that it's about more than that - she wants to have a life here. Pearl reminds Anna that she can't force her, but that she just wants Anna to be protected.
At the Salvatore place, Elena is scribbling away in her journal when Damon gets back. He snarks at her and moves her feet so that he can sit next to her on couch, putting her feet in his lap.
"So, how was the errand?"
"Futile. Although I think I witnessed the teacher having an existential crisis."
Elena pulls her feet up out of Damon's lap while Damon asks if Stefan's eaten yet. Elena reminds him that he doesn't care. Elena thinks that Stefan is moving toward a good place - just needs to work through his guilt.
"It doesn't help that you've spent the last hundred and forty-five years punishing him for Katherine getting caught."
"This is my fault now?"
"No, it's no one's fault, Damon. I'm just saying that you're not exactly innocent. You've made it your life's mission to make him miserable."
"Let me ask you a question - in all this important soul-searching and cleansing of the demons of Stefan's past, did you ever manage to get the rest of the story?"
"He said there was more."
"Yeah. That's an understatement."
"Damon. Damon! Tell me."
What Damon says to Stefan later, I take less seriously than what he says here. When he wants to tell Elena 'the rest of the story' - the rest of the important part, this is what he tells her. Not about Katherine turning both of them and not just Damon, not about feeling like Stefan had betrayed him earlier. This is what Damon considers to be the vital information (in other words, Stefan is correct in "Rose" to pick this particular offense to apologize for, whatever the subconscious motivations behind his actions may have been).
Back in 1864, Damon is waiting to die. Stefan comes, with a girl. The girl is, Stefan tells Damon, a gift for him. Stefan gives a halting, self-justifying explanation of the father-kill, but he quickly moves on to how awesome being a vampire is.
"And the guilt... the pain? Damon, I can turn it off like a switch. Katherine was right. It's a whole other world out here, Damon."
"Katherine is dead, Stefan. There's no world without her."
"You can turn that off, too! You don't have to feel that pain anymore."
"I don't want it!"
"You're weak. You'll be dead soon. You need this. You'll die."
"No. I can't-"
But Stefan has another weapon besides words (and all the touching that he's doing). He calls the girl to him and he bites her neck open. He cups his brother's face in his hands and tells Damon not to fight the urges. Good lord, I feel like I'm writing incestuous fanfic. But this is in the actual show. "We can do this - together," Stefan tells Damon and he nudges him toward the girl, watching as Damon gives in, stroking Damon's back and shoulders.
"The moment Stefan had his first taste of human blood, he was a different person," Damon tells Elena. And here, she's finding the horror that she didn't find in hearing of Stefan killing Mr. Salvatore (seriously, she had zero reaction to that earlier story - now, she's got her arms around herself and she's actually reacting as though she's heard something terrible). "I suppose I should thank him. It's been a hell of a ride."
"Oh, god. He said he wanted to die. That's why he wouldn't feed. Now I understand why."
"His choice. If he's stupid enough to make it, so be it."
"Don't do that. Okay? Don't pretend like you don't care."
It looks like Damon has been drinking throughout the telling of his story (he's drinking when we come back to him and then he pours himself another). Anyway, Elena realizes that she might have misjudged Stefan's reasons and level of guilt and rushes downstairs. Stefan's gone. The ring isn't.
Jeremy is sleeping at home, and Anna pops in next to him, to stare at him. He wakes up and she notices that it's getting harder to sneak up on him. He's still half-asleep, though. He drifts back to sleep before they can have much of a conversation. She kisses him and tells him goodbye, and then she's gone.
Stefan is out by the quarry/lakeside where he made Damon turn. He remembers afterwards, Damon as a vampire.
"How do you feel?"
"You were right. It is a whole new world."
"We can explore it together."
"You got what you wanted. You and me, for all eternity. But hear this, brother, I will make it an eternity of misery for you."
This is the place where he tried to keep his brother (forever) and ended up losing him instead. A poetic place to die. He remembers Emily now, disappointed in seeing him a vampire.
"You'd rather found me dead?"
"Katherine saved my life once. I owed her. That doesn't mean I'd wish her curse on anyone."
"Feels more like a gift."
"That will change."
"Why is that?"
"Because even in death, your heart is pure, Stefan. I sense that about you. That will be your curse."
So... what does that even mean? I mean, Stefan has put a lot of work into rehabilitating parts of himself, but was his heart really pure when he was compelling that girl so that he could feed her to Damon? Was his heart pure when he was chasing Amber? I don't doubt that Stefan has a moderately good heart, but... 'pure'? Again, what does that even mean? It doesn't mean that he doesn't lie. "Not a killer at heart" - could that be what it means? (except that Stefan doesn't have any problem torturing and killing people he's decided are dangerous)
I wish that Emily had defined her terms. I find 'pure heart' to be a useless descriptor. Also, this means that Emily is to blame for Stefan's "I'm tortured because I'm just that awesome" speech to Caroline in S2, which is the most hilariously self-righteous thing that's ever existed.
I don't know. Maybe it means he can ride unicorns. Maybe it's just a poetic way of talking about his guilt and martyr complexes.
Stefan is growing weak and freaking out and whatnot, and he turns to see Elena.
"Damon told me the rest of the story. I thought I might find you here."
"I should have died that night. Just like I had chosen. I should have let Damon die, too."
"But you didn't. And if you die now, it's not going to change what happened."
"Every single person that's been hurt... every single life that's been lost... it's because of me."
Elena kinda goes through this whole self-hating guilt trip in S2, but at least when she's trying to martyr herself, she's hoping to get something good out of it (the safety of her loved ones). Stefan is just feeling sorry for himself. I mean, what good does it serve to kill himself now? Elena loves him and his brother is starting to come around on that whole 'make you miserable and kill people' thing. This is an excellent time not to die.
"Our actions are what set things in motion," Elena tells Stefan. "But we have to live with that."
"I made a choice, Elena, because of that choice a lot of people were hurt."
"You also made a choice to stop. To reject the person that the blood made you. You made a choice to be good, Stefan."
"Please, please don't do that."
"That's the person who jumped in the water to save the family whose car had driven off the bridge."
"Please. Don't make this all okay."
"That's the person who saved my life."
"You don't understand, Elena."
"Then tell me."
"It hurts me. It hurts me, knowing what I've done, and that pain... that pain is with me all the time. And every day I think that if I just... if I just give myself over to the blood, I can make that pain stop. It would be that easy and every day I fight that. And I'm so terrified that one day, I'm not gonna want to fight that anymore, Elena. And the next time I hurt somebody, it could be you."
Ah, man, it sucks that Stefan never had an in-depth conversation with Lexi regarding the emotion switch and the way it stops working after a couple hundred years. I mean, knowing that you can only shield yourself from your emotions for so long before they catch up to you might have given Stefan a stronger anchor to hold onto in the rough times (like now). Or not. Hard to say. Anyway, I think that Elena watched Buffy, because she totally knows that she's in an "Amends" moment. She tells Stefan to keep fighting. She puts his ring in his palm and kisses him. Anyway, he ends up putting the ring back on and rushing over to make out with her because, really, who wouldn't want to live to kiss Elena again?
(though, woah, check out the wide shot here - the lack of lower body touching really lends a chaste air to the kiss that wasn't there in the close-up)
Pearl and Harper are just about ready to leave. We learn that Pearl is the one who turned Harper (a soldier left to die) and he wants to come with her. Pearl grabs some bags and opens the door - only to be staked and to fall back into Harper's arms, dead.
Back at the Salvatore place, Damon is still mucking around with his new broken toy and he sees Elena leading Stefan into the room.
"Little boy lost," Damon snarks.
Elena tells Stefan that she'll be upstairs and wishes Damon a good night, leaving Stefan to talk to his brother. Damon puts the Gilbert device down and picks up his glass.
"Thank you."
"No, Stefan, thank you. You're back on Bambi blood and I'm the big, bad-ass brother again. All's right in the world."
"No, I mean it. Thank you. For helping her take care of me."
"You brood too much. Everything on this planet's not your fault. My actions... what I do... it's not your fault. I own them. They belong to me. You are not allowed to feel my guilt."
"You feel guilt?"
"If I wanted to... it's there. You know, Emily waited until after I'd turned to tell me that she'd been successful protecting Katherine with her spell. She didn't want me to know about the tomb. She thought it would impact my decision."
"She didn't want either one of us to turn. She said it was a curse."
"Witches... judge-y little things."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I didn't want you to know. Because I hated you and I still do."
"I know."
"But not because you forced me to turn."
"Then why?"
"Because she turned you. It was just supposed to be me, Stefan. Just me."
Another great Stefan-Damon conversation. Stefan is... too willing to believe what Damon says over what Damon does. Damon says he still hates Stefan, but instead he's saving his life and helping him out and not attempting to make his life miserable by killing all the people in Mystic Falls. Both of them are too willing to do that - believe the image that the other one projects instead of the reality supported by their actions. I love Damon's claiming of his own guilt - yes, it does belong to him. The horrible things that Damon has done are his horrible things. Stefan's horrible things are his own ledger as well. This is, after I became an atheist, something that really bothered me about the entire... Jesus thing. The whole idea of someone sacrificing their life for my mistakes became almost... offensive. My 'sins' (if one chooses to call them that) - mistakes or bad choices or moments of cruelty or hatefulness, etc - they're mine (there's a good song - "Gloria" that has as an opening line "Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine" and later "my sins are my own, they belong to me" and I've always really loved those lines). I'm the only person who can make up for them.
So far, this is a supernatural universe that can operate just fine without any need for higher powers - witches get power from their emotions and from inside themselves, and werewolf and witch genes get passed down, and vampires have a coherent biology. I really appreciate that.
About the other big thing that Damon says - I do think that Damon wasn't hurt that he wasn't special to Katherine, but a part of him did already know that. It wasn't this big, betraying surprise that he's pretending that it was. But it goes along with telling Stefan that he still hates him - it pushes Stefan away, because Damon is not in a place where he wants Stefan to be trying to poke at his emotions. Enough that Damon admitted that the emotions were there, waiting for him.
Anna gets back to the house only to find Harper and her mother lying dead on the floor. Poor Anna. She waited a hundred and forty-five years to see her mother again, and then lost her so soon. She rips the stake out and shakes her mother's body, but it's over. And then we cut to John, outside, putting his stakes away in his trunk. He places a call to Sheriff Forbes, telling her that he has a vampire update.
Alaric is at the Grill, drinking, when he's surprised by Isobel.
1. Damon killed by the elder Salvatore.
2. Stefan killed by the elder Salvatore.
3. Stefan kills and eats the elder Salvatore. Couldn't have happened to a better father.
4. Damon drains Stefan's 'gift' for him.
5. John kills Pearl.
6. John kills Harper.
Damon's current kill count: 19
Stefan's current kill count: 6
Alaric: 3
Katherine: 2
John: 2
Isobel: 2
1. Stefan feeds on his dad.
2. Stefan feeds on the girl that he brought to Damon, just a little.
3. Damon feeds on the girl Stefan brought for him.
Damon's current bite count: 23
Katherine's current bite count: 4
Stefan's current bite count: 4
Anna: 2
1. Stefan compelled the girl that he brings to Damon.
Stefan's current compelling count: 7
Damon's current compelling count: 17
Katherine: 1
Isobel: 1
1. Pearl tells Anna that they're leaving Mystic Falls.
Together: "Night of the Comet" - "Family Ties" (3 episodes; exact time uncertain, at least a week)
1st Breakup: "Family Ties" - "You're Undead to Me" (2 episodes; 4 days)
1st Reunion: "You're Undead to Me" - "Lost Girls" (2 episodes; 2 days)
2nd Breakup: "Lost Girls" - "The Turning Point" (3 episodes; exact time uncertain, at least 3 days)
2nd Reunion: "The Turning Point" - (at least 12 episodes, at least four weeks)
Hard to say - the first time we see Elena could be a different day than the second time.
She heads off to school, while Stefan mopes. Long day and night of moping, ending up the following morning, when Stefan decides not to off himself.
1. Damon is shirtless after his resurrection.
2. Stefan also gets shirtless so that he can clean up.
3. Jeremy gets shirtless with Anna.
No Bonnie.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-24 05:56 am (UTC)Stefan's guilt annoys me. It doesn't HELP anybody and in fact it makes him more prone to being caught up in what it MEANS to be 'the good brother' which he has been trying to define himself as for over a century.
Oh, Papa Salvatore, his true colors are revealed - Stefan never rebelled, and was likely doing exactly what his father wanted, and so he ignored or justified what his father did as being 'who he was' or 'he didn't mean to.'
>.<
Thanks to that and Emily, Stefan is CONVINCED that he has to measure himself by different standards and it's not paying off very well.
Anna and Jeremy are adorable, and I HATED that Pearl died. I wanted her and Anna to get out of town SO BADLY. They deserved a happy ending.
Re: Uncle John. STILL trying to lord it over people and failing. *shakes head* That is not the way to build a relationship with somebody you have likely treated like crap or something close to it for years. I mean, Elena is a Gilbert too, but from the looks of it, Jeremy is the one who got doted on by Uncle John. *eyeroll*
In this episode we get a nice contrast between the brothers' ways of sharing, storytelling and coping, and we also see that Damon is capable of guilt, knows it and doesn't let it cripple him, he is a vampire and he enjoys his life so he will live it to the fullest, even if that doesn't fit the ideals of others.
And in doing so he HAS made a new friend or two, as shown by him going on a date with Alaric. *g* They were ADORABLE. Damon is doing domestics, with Alaric and Elena.
*bounces*
Growth that Stefan would see if he wasn't busy moping.
And MOPING.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-24 10:22 pm (UTC)IT REALLY DOES. Especially from Stefan's point of view. That boy, I don't know what to do with him.
Stefan's guilt annoys me. It doesn't HELP anybody and in fact it makes him more prone to being caught up in what it MEANS to be 'the good brother' which he has been trying to define himself as for over a century.
Yes. Stefan has counter-productive guilt, so, after a while, it ends up bothering me instead of winning my sympathy.
Anna and Jeremy are adorable, and I HATED that Pearl died. I wanted her and Anna to get out of town SO BADLY. They deserved a happy ending.
I was so sad for Anna and Pearl. She just wanted to save her mom! And her mom wanted to protect her family. Very sad.
And in doing so he HAS made a new friend or two, as shown by him going on a date with Alaric. *g* They were ADORABLE. Damon is doing domestics, with Alaric and Elena.
All the Alaric-Damon stuff in this episode was awesome. Damon is also way more domestic than Stefan, which is amusing sometimes.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-24 11:57 pm (UTC)Yes, I would be interested to see what Damon's pov of that scene was. Because Stefan's perspective made made me a bit 0.o
it ends up bothering me instead of winning my sympathy.
Me too. Guilt is good if it leads to growth or helping people and not moping around in a basement. Wait, did I say that? ;)
Damon is also way more domestic than Stefan, which is amusing sometimes.
I find it HILARIOUS that Damon is the one who gathers people to him and looks out for them, but he's got the mindset to protect 'his people' and even if he doesn't do what everyone WANTS him to, they know that he will KEEP THEM SAFE. It's just that he may be dragging them out of the smoldering wreckage of the world - BUT THEY WILL LIVE.
:)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-26 01:06 am (UTC)This moment made me really dislike Stefan, if only for this episode. There's just so little point in wanting to kill himself now and it's so righteously unfair to Elena to have lived 146 years without killing himself, only to stalk her and arrange to fall in love with her and have her fall in love with him, only to leave her? Dude, Stefan, sometimes you're a DICK.
And poor Anna. I really like Anna. :(
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-26 01:48 pm (UTC)