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butterflyTitle: Over the Rainbow
Summary: Adam had never slept with anyone who had this much to lose.
Pairings: Kris/Adam
Rating: NC-17; Adult; Sexual Content
Notes: Set in the same AU as Rewriting History. Having missed his chance at trying out for S8, Kris had watched in awe as Adam Lambert destroyed the competition that year. Now, he's gotten into the finals of S9 and Adam is a guest singer on the show.
Over the Rainbow
He was supposed to feel bad when a relationship ended, Adam knew. He'd felt like crap when it ended with Brad and moderately horrible after things with Drake had gone south. But all he really felt after he finally broke off his relationship with Bryan was a sense of relief. And it wasn't fair of him – all things considered, Bryan had probably been a better boyfriend than Brad and Drake combined. Or at least a more convenient one.
He'd never complained or fussed or wanted more than Adam did. And when Adam had tried, politely, to explain that their relationship had somehow developed all the spark of wet lettuce, Bryan had tried to fix things.
Apparently, Adam wasn't into relationships that actually went smoothly.
That didn't mean, though, that it would be a good idea to let himself get a crush on little Kris Allen, no matter how adorable he was when he was coming. Especially when the kid might end up being the ninth American Idol, which Adam thought was more and more likely as time went on. Sure, the first thing that he'd noticed about the guy had been his mouth, but the voice had been a near second. And there wasn't a chance in hell that Idol would want two gay winners in a row – if they found out what he and Kris had done, they would probably start trying to edge him out of the competition and Kris was too good for Adam to let that happen to him.
Especially when he couldn't be certain that the kid had anything but a massive case of hero-worship that Adam had accidentally encouraged in the wrong direction. Adam shifted in bed, lightly touching himself as he thought of Kris's face, so earnest as he told Adam that he'd voted him for all season. His eyes had been wide and still surprised from when Adam had first tapped him on the shoulder and asked to speak with him alone.
Even better had been the shell-shocked way that Kris had looked at him afterwards, his mouth red and trembling. Such a pretty, pretty boy. Adam jerked himself slowly, letting his thoughts linger on the way Kris's tongue had flicked out to lick his lips, the confused satisfaction in his eyes, and the way his entire body had seemed to be shaky in the aftermath.
He dimly recalled from one of the video packages that the kid was married. Oh, unless he was thinking of that Karl guy. If Kris was married, Adam couldn't remember her name, though he thought she might be blonde. Unless that was a sister or something. He tried to remember if Kris had been wearing a wedding ring but, honestly, he'd had more important things to think about at the time. He'd have to look it up later.
Not that any of it mattered if Kris decided not to call him. People could say whatever shit they needed to invent about Adam, but he didn't stay where he wasn't wanted; Kris would have to invite him in if he wanted a second taste.
At this point in his life, Adam could afford to be picky.
Adam closed his eyes and thought of the way that Kris had said his name, in a tiny breathy voice, and let that memory bring him off. Then he reached over for the wet cloth he'd left on the nightstand and cleaned himself off, tossing it away and turning over to go to sleep.
Kris didn't call him any time in the next three weeks, but his clothes on the show seemed to get progressively tighter. And Adam learned that Kris was married, but that his wife hadn't come to any of the shows after the semifinals.
And anyway, if Kris was gay but married, it wasn't Adam's fault if he hadn't worked it out for himself before now. It's not like Adam could keep track of which of the contestants were out-of-bounds...
Though Adam might have subconsciously blocked out the fact that Kris was married, because he hadn't lied when he'd told the kid that he'd been following Kris's progress over the course of the season. He'd started out a little rough – though he'd been pretty enough to make up for it – but ever since around Top 9, when he'd taken on Donna Summers, Kris had been knocking his performances absolutely out of the park and, when Adam checked around, he discovered that he was far from the only one going crazy over the guy. Michael Slezak at Idolatry had been calling the season for him ever since Top 7 Week, when he'd torn down and rearranged Bowie's “Rock n Roll Suicide” into a soul-driven lament that had reportedly made tears run down Kara's cheeks.
Adam hadn't watched that episode live, but he'd seen Kris's performance on youtube afterwards and it had taken his breath away. Anyone who hadn't been touched probably completely lacked a heart, he'd told Allison on the phone that night. She'd murmured agreement and they'd both giggled over how cute Kris was and promised each other to remember to vote for him when they could.
And a week later, he managed to get into the kid's pants. Which he still hadn't told Allison about. He hadn't told anyone.
He also hadn't quite been able to get interested in anyone else, which was freaking him out. One quick... hell, they hadn't even gotten their clothes off. Adam hadn't even gotten off. As far as sex went, it hadn't been a big deal.
Except that it was Kris's face that he was seeing every time that he jerked off these days; Kris's voice that he was hearing in his head when he came.
It was really fucking annoying and he was starting to wonder what he'd been thinking, giving the guy a free ride and then walking away and waiting for a call – he should have dragged Kris into the nearest closet and played with him until he was begging for it, until he was raw and open, nipples tight and used, until he was totally fucked with Adam's come drippi-
Yeah. And Adam would have gotten into so much trouble with management that his ass would still be sore.
The screwed up part is that he's almost thinking that it would have been worth all that trouble. If he'd fucked Kris properly, maybe he'd be able to get the guy out of his head.
So, it's kinda funny that when Kris finally does call him, it's one of the few times that he's thinking about something else – he'd been driving out to the studio when an unknown number came up on his phone and, well... anyone else calling that particular phone would already have a name attached, so he was smiling when he answered.
“You've reached Adam Lambert, world famous rock star and the greatest lay in history. How can I help you today, baby?”
There was a long pause before the response came. “I'm... really hoping you don't always answer the phone that way.” Yeah, that was Kris's voice all right and he could barely speak for laughing, so Adam gave himself an A-plus on that one.
“Special occasions only,” Adam said, dropping his voice a bit. Brad had called it his 'phone sex' voice and he'd definitely have heard it enough to know. “But, Kris, I know you're still in the competition, so I've gotta ask – business or pleasure?”
“Business,” Kris said and Adam let out a little disappointed sigh that made Kris giggle. “I need to pick out a new song for the finals next Tuesday and I was hoping... I'm going to ask if I can do Cracked Clown.”
Adam let out a low whistle. The kid had guts, though he'd proved that more than once already this season. And Adam was really glad that the judges were letting the contestants have a personal song in the final two again this year, because he'd really missed that about his own season.
“I know- shit, sorry, Adam, if you thought- I know I can't sing the way you can,” Kris said, stumbling over his words. “I'm not going to try to do you. But I wanna take it and strip it back, focus on the words and the melody – which is so amazing – and give it my own spin. But I want you to be okay with it. So. That's what I'm going to ask to sing and I think I'm going to put it at the end, have it be the last thing people hear – if you were watching, you probably saw that I won the coin toss over Rachel, so I'm going second and-”
“Hey,” Adam said, finally breaking through Kris's nervous chatter. Kris's words stuttered slightly and then stopped. “I can't think of anything I'd like more than hearing you sing one of my songs.”
“Oh.” It was a tiny little breath of a sound that made Adam's cock twitch with interest, despite the inconvenient setting.
“In fact, why I don't give the production offices a call and see if I can go over it with you, since I'm going to be performing on the finale anyway,” Adam suggested. He glanced in his mirrors and then switched lanes, only a couple of minutes away now.
“I'd like that,” Kris said and, as far as Adam was concerned, that was that.
Since it was all through 19 anyway, and since Adam couched his request in terms of maintaining the song's artistic integrity, it was all easy to arrange and Adam was given permission to visit Kris whenever he wanted to, in order to help work out whatever new arrangement Kris was planning.
Which meant that Adam moved his Friday meetings back a week – nothing all that urgent going on right now, since he'd been working on his Idol performance anyway – and he found himself alone in a nice, quiet room with Kris and a guitar.
The initial meet-up with Kris had been in front of cameras and they'd need to have a public room 'mentoring' session at some point just in case the show wanted to air it, but Kris had insisted on privacy for actually working out his song and it was obvious that he wasn't saying it for Adam's sake, from the reaction of the camera crew, and it seemed like it was habit for Kris to lock the door behind himself.
And, wow, that camera crew adored the fuck out of Kris Allen. One of the things that Adam had discovered, in his wander backstage before meeting up with Kris, was that Kris had completely captured the hearts of the crew, his fellow contestants, and all of the judges except Simon, who seemed to be privately rooting for Rachel Hart, even though he told the press that it was anyone's game.
But they were alone now, and Adam was only barely keeping himself from pouncing. Kris was talking and, really, Adam was sure that it was fascinating, but he'd been thinking about Kris for weeks now and sitting around talking about a song that Adam was certain Kris would have no problem adapting into whatever he wanted to make it was definitely not the reason that he'd come.
“-with a pink canoe,” Kris said, and Adam wrinkled his nose.
“What?”
Kris laughed, carefully resting his guitar on one of the couches and then bouncing up and coming over to touch the back of Adam's hand.
“Knew you weren't listening,” he said, but he didn't sound irritated. “I'm going to tell you something, okay?” Adam nodded and Kris turned Adam's hand over, exposing his Eye of Horus. “After I saw this tattoo for the first time, I seriously considered getting one. Not on my wrist, but maybe... maybe like on my hip or something. Katy told me that it was a crazy, stupid idea and I never did it, but I've been thinking- ever since what happened, I'm been going back and thinking about everything I ever felt when I was watching you last season. All the stuff that I thought was... innocent, I guess?”
Kris was looking down at their hands and Adam could feel him trembling and, yeah, Kris had been planning that speech. He'd been hoping for a chance to say it. Adam was so fucking in that he could practically taste it.
“I thought I just loved your music,” Kris said, and that drop in his voice was making Adam's cock stir. “That I just... admired you being so brave and so strong. Then, when I met you- when you-”
Kris's voice faltered and he was bright, bright red, so Adam decided to make this easier on him. He took Kris's hand into a real handhold and led him over to stand by the empty couch. Then he looked over at Kris, who still couldn't meet his eyes, and he cupped Kris's cheek and tilted his face up toward Adam's. Finally, Kris's eyes flicked up and, once their gazes were locked, Adam felt Kris's whole body just shiver with need. Yeah, Adam was familiar with repression when it was right under his hands and he just had to send a thanks out to the universe for letting him be the guy who was going to teach Kris that it was okay to do what his body wanted him to do.
He leaned down and he gave Kris the sweetest, most tender kiss that he'd ever given anyone – sucking and delicate and so, so slow, like honey dripping down into warm tea. When he pulled back, Kris's eyes were closed at first and they drifted open dreamily and Adam reminded himself to be careful with this one. Tiny little Southern Christian with a tiny little blonde wife and a family that adored him to pieces – Adam had never slept with anyone who had this much to lose. Fuck, he'd never slept with anyone who could cost him this much – RCA had been great to him, but causing a gay sex scandal with the next American Idol – and, in Adam's opinion, there wasn't a chance that Kris wasn't that – he wasn't sure even the most laid-back company in the world would support him through that.
And then Kris smiled up at him, small and hesitant, and... yeah, they were definitely doing this.
“We're going do this the right way, okay, baby?” Adam stroked his hand down Kris's neck, his heart skipping slightly when he realized that what he'd assumed was a button-down shirt actually had snaps. Kris was nodding, swaying into Adam's touch, his cheeks still pink. “I am going to take off your clothes and touch you all over and, if you let me, I will fuck you right here on this couch. Will you, Kris? Will you let me?”
Kris's gaze had snapped to Adam's on the word 'fuck', wide and startled. He looked like the best porn in the world, all the better because he wasn't pretending, because every tremble and blush was completely genuine. When he realized that Adam really wanted an answer, he swallowed hard and Adam could feel the bobbing of his adam's apple and he felt a sudden urge to lean over and lick at Kris's neck, but he held back, wanting Kris to say 'yes'.
“Yeah,” Kris breathed and Adam raised an eyebrow. Kris licked his lips, and Adam wondered what he'd look like all done up, dark red lipstick and glitter and eyeshadow. He'd have to ask Kris to let him, sometime, and he'd maybe need to dress Kris up in leather and spikes and... hmm, a collar. He slid his hand down to Kris's chest, popping open a couple of the snaps on Kris's shirt. Kris breathed in sharply. “Yes,” he said, his hands lightly touching Adam's hips now. “You can do that.”
“Do what?” Adam asked and when Kris looked at him, Adam blinked down innocently. “What can I do to you?”
The color flooded back into Kris's cheeks as the realization that Adam wanted him to say the words hit him. Fuck, it was pretty. Had Adam ever had anyone this raw and new before? Clearly, he should have, because he had to admit that it was a rush seeing Kris's reactions.
He nuzzled at Kris's ear, licking up the side and briefly sucking the earlobe into his mouth, then he said, very softly, “If you can't say it out loud, try whispering it to me.”
Kris's fingers clenched on Adam's hips – and he had a nice, tight grip – and he took in a deep breath and Adam slipped a hand around to his back, finding that strip of skin between his shirt and his jeans, both bits of clothing so much tighter than they'd been the last time he'd gotten the chance to do this.
Kris's first try at a sentence was just a soft rush of air, his words too low to distinguish, and Adam told him, quietly, that it wasn't good enough and he felt the way that made Kris tense all over and, yeah, he was going to need to test Kris more later, after the show and the tour and maybe even the craziness of the first few months was over, because he was really getting the feeling that they could have a lot of fun together.
“I want...” Kris said, haltingly, and Adam dropped an encouraging kiss on the side of his head. “I want you to- to fuck me.”
“Mmm. Pretty,” Adam said, rubbing his hand up Kris's back in approval. He nipped at the top of Kris's ear. “Pull the lube and condom out of my back pocket and toss them on the couch.”
Another quick, shuddering breath from Kris and then he felt both Kris's hands slipping around, trying to find the right pocket. Adam's pants were tight, of course, so Kris sneaking a hand in to pull out the supplies was really... delightful. The tube and the condom packet seemed to land on the couch without a problem, so he had to give props to Kris for having coordination even when he was so clearly gagging for it.
“Adam, I-” Kris pulled away a little, enough so that he could tilt his face up and look at Adam. Adam's fingers were tangling in the chain Kris was wearing around his neck, his other hand resting on the small of Kris's back. Kris's hands crept up in between them, and he tugged a little at the edges of Adam's jacket. “I wanna see if your freckles go all the way down.”
And it was Adam's turn to blush now, which he told himself was mostly surprise. Kris's mouth widened into a delighted smile and Adam let his hands fall away so that Kris could push Adam's jacket down around his shoulders. It fell into a heap by Adam's feet and he kicked it away, turning so that his back was facing the couch. Kris had an adorably scrunched-up puzzled look on his face, but it cleared up when Adam put Kris's hands on his belt buckle. Then Kris bit down on his lip, his gaze slipping down to where his hands were on Adam's waist.
While Kris was unbuckling his belt, Adam pulled his own shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side to rest with his jacket. He grinned when he heard Kris's little noise of surprise at discovering that Adam didn't wear anything under his pants. Then he wrapped his fingers around Kris's wrists and pulled them away. Kris looked up at him, and he was panting slightly, his mouth open. Adam let himself slide down onto the couch, still holding Kris's wrists. Kris stumbled closer, and Adam spread his legs wide enough for Kris to stand between them.
“I want you on your knees-” Adam paused just long enough to savor Kris's startled, blushing reaction. “-so that you can help me out of these boots. Are you willing to do that?”
And Kris was nodding, his teeth biting down on that poor lower lip of his again, and Adam pressed Kris's hands down against his thighs and then let go, slumping back against the couch, though he didn't take his eyes off of Kris. Kris braced himself on Adam's legs and slowly let himself sink down to his knees. He moved his hands to Adam's right ankle and Adam helpfully lifted his foot, thoroughly enjoying Kris's continued blushes. They were boots that were meant to be seen, so they had buckles that Kris had to undo.
Adam rubbed himself through his pants and tried to remember if any of the guys he'd done before had actually been virgins. Tim, maybe, but he might have just been saying that because he figured it made guys hot. Or all the way back near the beginning... but still no one like Kris.
Now, his first boot and sock were gone and Kris had started on the other one, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. Mmm, that mouth of his had been doing things to Adam since the very first time he'd seen it – he'd gotten together with a bunch of old friends to watch the audition episodes, because Alisan claimed that she'd known by watching the rest of the auditions last season that no one stood a chance against him and she wanted to see if she could call it again this year. Which, honestly, he thought was bullshit and he didn't even believe that she'd watched most of last season, but whatever, he went to the viewing parties anyway. And then little Kris Allen had walked on screen, wearing a pale plaid shirt and baggy jeans, and Simon hadn't been sure about him, which Adam had understood. Everyone knew that a serious competitor shouldn't come out and say that he wasn't the best. He and Brad had agreed though, that the guy had a seriously pretty mouth – and then Alisan had said that Kris was a dead ringer for Brad and the picture comparison party had started up, with Adam and Brad both firmly on the side of 'vaguely similar but not even close to identical'. Over on her side of the argument, Alisan called them both blind idiots.
They'd been fun parties, really.
Adam's feet were bare now and Kris seemed at a loss, his hands pressed down against the carpet, not looking at Adam. That chain of his was swinging outside his shirt and- it actually looked like it had a ring on there. Maybe his wedding ring? Adam tried to push down the irrational surge of guilt that swept over him – because if Kris was cheating, then it was his fault, not Adam's – but it looked like Kris was actually trembling. Adam leaned forward, tucking a finger under Kris's chin and getting him to look up. “Hey,” he said, softly. “If this isn't what you really want, we don't have to do this. We can... we can work on the song together.”
Kris's eyes were wide and scared, genuine fear in them that was making Adam regret doing any of this, but then Kris shot forward, his mouth landing hard and painful on Adam's and his hands coming up to clutch at Adam's hair. This kiss had teeth in it and Kris was shaking hard against him and... shit... was he crying? But there were no tears, just dry sobs that melted into Adam's mouth.
“Please,” Kris said, the sound nearly swallowed up between them. Kris pulled back a little, just looking at Adam, one of his hands sliding around to touch Adam's cheek. “Maybe this is wrong.” Kris paused and Adam watched as a dash of blood welled up from a tiny cut on Kris's mouth. “No. I know it's wrong.” Adam tried to speak and Kris put his hand over Adam's mouth, shaking his head. “I made a vow. Marriage is a sacrament. I promised, before God and Katy and the world, that I would honor and cherish and be faithful only to her, for the rest of my life, so help me God.”
And Adam hadn't ever really given any specific thoughts to the 'Christian' part of Kris's blurb, but the passion in Kris's voice was making him think twice about that. Kris pulled his hand down, but before Adam could say anything, not that he had a clue what he would say, Kris was kissing him again, his hand pressed high against Adam's chest, this kiss as soft and gentle as the other one had been violent.
“I almost died once,” Kris said, when the kiss was done. Kris's mouth looked swollen now, abused, and part of Adam was cringing because he wasn't sure how they were going to hide this, but Kris didn't look worried anymore, just slightly hazy, maybe distant. He wasn't looking at Adam, but playing with the necklaces that Adam still had on, his fingers catching on the cords. “In Morocco on a... it doesn't matter. What happened made me think about life and what I wanted out of it. I wanted to help people and make music. Serve God. And my family... they have always supported me. In everything.” His eyes darted up for a second to make eye-contact, and then he was looking down again, and his voice was low and miserable. “I don't know if they'll... if this is something that they can understand.”
“I'm sorry,” Adam whispered and if this was a rejection, he could take it. But Kris was shaking his head again and leaning forward to drop a light kiss at the corner of Adam's mouth.
“I almost auditioned for last season,” Kris said and he reached out and brushed at Adam's hair, his thumb lingering on Adam's forehead. “But I lost my voice the day of the audition. I wondered, after what happened with us, if God was trying... trying to guide me away from you, if maybe it was God that took away my voice, so that I couldn't meet you. And that maybe what I'm doing is going against God's will.”
Adam didn't really believe in a God – a general higher power ordering the universe was something that he gave serious thought to, as well as the concept of destiny, but an actual God had always sounded silly to him. But it was real enough to Kris, which made Adam really wish that Kris had given him a call during the last three weeks, if this had been eating him up all that time. Kris pulled a little bit further away and then looked Adam in the eyes, holding the stare this time. And he reached behind himself, and the chain around his neck dropped off, catching in his shirt.
“What I realized...” Kris said, picking up the chain and taking the ring off it – it was definitely a wedding ring – and then placing them both on the floor next to Adam's boots. “When I was done thinking about it, what I realized was that I didn't care. I mean, I cared, but not enough not to call you. Not enough not to say 'yes' to your offer, even though I knew what you really wanted.” Kris reached out and brushed his knuckles against Adam's cheek and his smile was close to making Adam cry. “I want this more... more than a recording contract, more than my wife... more than I want to make God happy.”
And there were about a million alarms going off in Adam's head right now, but he pushed those thoughts away, pulling Kris up to kiss him, trying to be careful with Kris's mouth. He leaned back, tugging Kris up into his lap, getting Kris to settle his knees on either side of Adam's legs. He wanted... oh, there was nothing Adam wanted more right now than to make all this worth it for Kris. He yanked open Kris's shirt and slid it off, then needed to kick it away when it landed on his foot. Kris – Adam ran his hand down Kris's chest – Kris was perfect, tiny but still strong. Soft skin, dark nipples that Adam had to tug at, not much hair except for the trail that led down to his jeans. A barely-visible scar that Adam ran his fingers across, wondering whether or not it had to do with Morocco.
And Kris was far from passive – he seemed to be exploring Adam with just as much zeal, pressing his fingers against clusters of freckles, brushing kisses against Adam's skin. He discovered a ticklish spot and spent some time there, obviously enjoying Adam's squirms and giggles. He wrinkled his nose when he saw Adam's underarm hair and whispered, “Wow, you really are a redhead,” like he hadn't believed that Adam's hair was dyed until he had touchable proof that all of it wasn't black. He licked at Adam's nipples and seemed disappointed when Adam didn't respond with as much enthusiasm as he'd expected, so Adam told him to bite, just a little, and Kris looked at him like he was crazy, but he tried it and then he laughed when Adam's hips bucked up against him.
Adam could probably happily do this for... fuck... for hours, but he wasn't sure how long Kris normally holed up in his room before emerging for air and they were going to cause enough questions without adding more, so it was probably time to speed things along. Kris stilled when Adam put his hands on Kris's belt, but when Adam looked at him, he just nodded and his hands were tight around Adam's shoulders. Adam undid the belt and opened Kris's pants up, and Kris rose up onto his knees, his pants slipping down around his hips. He was wearing plain white briefs and there was an obvious bulge that twitched when Adam touched it. Adam reached down to try to figure out Kris's shoe situation, and he was wearing half-laced converse shoes that slipped off easily enough when Adam applied pressure. Soon, Kris was barefoot and Adam got him to wriggle and kick his way out of his jeans, leaving him in just his briefs.
“Baby, we are getting you some boxers ASAP,” Adam said, and when Kris opened his mouth – possibly to protest or something silly like that – Adam dragged him into a dirty open-mouth kiss that left him panting afterwards. While Kris was still looking dazed, Adam added, “Or you can start wearing nothing underneath. It's up to you.”
Adam pressed his hand against Kris's cock, getting a feel for him through the briefs. Just about what he'd have guessed, given Kris's height and proportions. Then he snapped the elastic and Kris jerked in surprise, gasping a little.
“How about you pull those off for me?” Adam leaned back against the couch, smirking when Kris looked at him. Kris had a few other marks now, from places Adam had sucked or nipped at him, one of them on the side of his neck, higher than his shirts reached. Make-up was not going to be happy with anyone if they saw that, but Adam was having a hard time caring.
Kris stuck his fingers under the elastic and carefully pulled his briefs down, his cock popping up to bump against his stomach. He seemed hesitant, so Adam reached out to give him a hand, guiding the briefs off and then running his fingers up the length of Kris's cock while Kris shuddered in reaction. Kris was... again, very nice. There was some hair around the base, but it wasn't overwhelming, and his cock was straight and a little thick for its length.
“You're pretty here, too,” Adam said, lightly playing with the tip of Kris's cock, and Kris's flush extended down his chest a little, which was cute. Kris would be more relaxed if he came first, so Adam brought his hand back to his mouth to his palm for a quick lick and then he started jerking Kris off, smooth and slow. “Tell me what you've done, okay?”
Kris blinked at him unsteadily, and it looked like it took him a second to focus on Adam's words. “You mean-”
Adam grinned, twisting his hand a little and liking the way that made Kris move his hips. “Yeah. I mean.”
“Um. Wow,” Kris said. He bit down on his lip and then went “Ow” in an aggrieved tone, like he'd forgotten that it would hurt. It seemed like he was having a hard time thinking, so Adam slowed down his hand. And Kris was either pouting a little or Adam had really done a number on that lip. Maybe both.
“Come on – what've you done?”
“Just... sex, I don't know,” Kris said, shifting his hips restlessly. “Is this a... do you get-”
“Do I like dirty talk?” Adam asked. Kris nodded and then breathed in sharply when Adam tightened his grip. “Yeah, but this isn't about that. I want to know what you've done, so that I know what I can show you. So, I don't care if you think it's stupid, tell me. Everything from jerking off to specific positions.”
“That sounds – ah! – very scientific,” Kris said, his voice unsteady. The tip of his cock was leaking steadily and Adam took advantage of that, spreading the liquid around. “I jerk off, of course. I've had- I've done oral sex-”
“Which way?” Adam asked, reaching down to stroke over Kris's balls and the base of his cock. Kris shook his head, his nose wrinkling up. “You've gotten blown, right... and you've eaten her out?”
“Yeah,” Kris agreed and he tilted his head. “I just... how does that help?”
“You'll see,” Adam said, touching the hot strip of skin right below Kris's cock and then going up and starting up the twisting strokes again. “Keep going.”
“We've had sex,” Kris started and Adam flicked his fingers against him, and Kris flinched in reaction and then nodded, breathing in. “Straight sex? I don't know. Adam-” Adam rubbed his fingertips over Kris's circumcision scar, then under the bundle of nerves that was just under the head. Kris whined in the back of his throat and Adam went back to regular, long pulls. “Missionary position. She's been on top. I like seeing her face, so we've never- I think that's all I've done.”
“Good,” Adam said, and he leaned forward to kiss Kris's cheek. “That leaves a lot of new shit to try out.” Kris shivered in response and Adam grinned, then got really serious about jerking Kris off. It only took a couple of minutes before Kris was shuddering out his orgasm and, yeah, Adam had remembered right about how cute he looked when he came.
Kris was just as shaky afterwards as he'd been before and Adam had to kiss him, even if it made him squeak a little. His hand lingered on Kris's softening cock until Kris shifted uncomfortably and reached down to brush it away. Adam brought his hand up to his mouth and licked it clean – he hadn't gotten the chance to taste Kris last time, which was something he'd been regretting. Then he kissed Kris again, sharing Kris's taste with him, enjoying his startled little quiver.
He'd tuned out his own need so that he could take care of Kris, but now that Kris had come and was such a sweet pile of exhaustion on top of him, Adam's cock was really reminding him of that promise he'd made to fuck Kris.
Honestly, he was torn on whether or not he should. He was aching for it and he'd certainly make Kris enjoy himself, but he'd also maybe caused enough damage to Kris's perfect life for one day. He gathered Kris close, his mouth quirking up in a smile when Kris's immediate reaction to being tucked against Adam's shoulder was to kiss it. He pressed his mouth against the top of Kris's head and ran his hand down the line of Kris's spine, feeling the vertebrae through his skin. Then he tucked a hand under Kris's ass and hauled him just a little closer, his fingers dipping into the crack and touching Kris's dry, tight hole. Kris wiggled against him, making a soft noise that was almost lost against Adam's skin.
“How you feeling?” Adam asked, his fingers flexing. “Up for more or do you need to work on that song?”
Kris laughed, low and sweet, and he was so relaxed that he almost felt limp in Adam's arms. “No point in stopping at half a sin.” And his accent was richer and deeper than Adam had ever heard before and it kinda sent tingles down his spine. “I want-” And Kris took a breath, and Adam could hear the smile in his voice. “I want every inch of your love.”
And they were both laughing a little now, because that was what had started the ball rolling the first time, and when he whispered, “I'll have to give you your own personal performance someday,” Kris moaned and Adam was really hoping the room was properly soundproofed. He stroked down Kris's back again and Kris arched into his touch. He smacked Kris lightly on the ass and said, “Hey, babe, shift off a little. I really want to get these off.”
Kris wasn't looking at him as Adam slid out of his pants, though Adam couldn't see why he would still be shy at this point. Almost as soon as there was skin, Kris was touching him again, relaxing onto Adam's lap. Kris was... twenty-four? Twenty-five, maybe. Adam could probably get him to come again. He decided to make it a goal.
He supported Kris's back with one hand and reached out to Kris's face with the other, encouraging him to actually take a look. Kris's gaze darted down and then away again and Adam chuckled, leaning forward to kiss Kris's cheek and whisper, “I promise it won't bite.”
Kris laughed too, a little weakly, and then he reached down with his right hand, his gaze dropping, too. When Kris's fingers brushed against the tip of Adam's cock, they both jerked, Adam's hips bucking up even as Kris pulled his hand away with a startled gasp.
“It's not so different from yours,” Adam said and Kris nodded, but his mouth twisted slightly to the side.
“It just-” Kris reached out again, his fingers only a breath away from touching Adam. “It's weird. I just thought, when I touched you, I thought this makes it real, but that's stupid because... because it's real already.” Kris's fingers brushed Adam's cock again, but this time they stayed, light as butterflies touching down. “I never notice how hot it is when it's mine.” His hand curved around and Adam could feel the calluses on his fingers from all those years of playing guitar. “Or how soft.” His voice had dropped down too, not soft enough to be a whisper, but low enough that it felt intensely intimate.
Adam tried his best to keep his hips still, but he hadn't accounted for Kris's voice, which seemed to wrap around his cock just as surely as Kris's hand did. He rested his hand on the back of Kris's neck and leaned forward, looking down at where Kris's hand stroked him up and down, still exploring. He grabbed Kris by the wrist – part of him gratified at Kris's disappointed little whimper – and set Kris's hand firmly on Adam's shoulder.
“I'm pretty sure I was doing that right,” Kris objected.
“Maybe a little too right,” Adam said, and he saw the moment that Kris got it, earning another delightful flush, though paler than the earlier versions. “How relaxed are you feeling?”
“Unless you've got some whiskey hidden on you, I'm probably as relaxed as I'm getting,” Kris said, his mouth quirking. Adam grinned back and him and then looked over at the other half of the couch, vaguely annoyed that the lube had ended up – of course – halfway into the cushions, but his arms were long enough for him to reach without dislodging Kris, so it all worked out.
“Put your arms around my neck and brace yourself,” Adam said and, once Kris was settled, he felt free to let Kris support himself for a while. Adam flipped the top open on the tube of lube, coated his fingers, and set the tube to the side for easy access. Once the lube was warm enough, he reached down, pressing his fingers lightly around Kris's hole, not trying to push in yet. Kris jerked away from him slightly and then settled down again, sighing a little. Adam gave Kris time to get used to just the feeling of fingers and then, carefully, with just the tip of his index finger, he breached the opening.
“Oh.” Kris didn't seem inclined to say any more than that, but when Adam asked if he was okay, Kris kissed him where his shoulder met his neck, warm tongue darting out to lick at Adam's skin. It felt pretty much like permission.
Adam pushed his finger in to the first knuckle, and... yeah, Kris was hot inside and so fucking tight Adam almost felt like he might lose his finger. He rubbed his other hand in circles on Kris's back, trying to get him to relax where it mattered most.
Slowly, he was able to sink his finger further in, and then he slid it in and out, setting up a rhythm that seemed almost to match Kris's breaths against his shoulder. He waited until Kris's hips started moving to echo him and then pulled out, adding more lube, and before Kris had time to do more than sigh in disappointment, he had two fingers pressing in, and Kris's breath was catching in his throat now.
“So, did your soul-searching lead you to any research?” Adam asked, twisting his fingers up and around and crooking them and – Kris gasped, his whole body jerking – right there, then. Adam made sure that he kept stroking against that spot as he opened Kris up.
It was Kris's first time, so after he got him used to two fingers, Adam introduced a third one, twisting and stretching his fingers up and around. At this point, Kris seemed like he'd gone beyond speech, but his breathing was quick and when Adam hit him just right, he would whimper and try to push down into Adam's touch. Adam pulled his fingers out and he felt Kris's fingers clutching even more tightly at his shoulders. He pushed Kris up so that he could get at himself and then he reached over and snagged the condom packet. He ripped open the packet and rolled the condom down his cock, liberally applying more lube.
He curved his hands around Kris's waist and lifted him up, whispered at Kris to hold himself in place, and then reached down to get his cock in position, biting his lip as his dick slid along Kris's slick skin – fuck, yes – and Kris tensed up just as Adam was getting near and then he let out a long breath and Adam could feel him relax, and the tip of his cock was nudging at Kris, and there was a moment of resistance and then the head popped through the ring of muscles and-
Adam let himself breathe.
Kris swayed a little and Adam wrapped his arm around Kris's back, holding him up. He bit down hard on his lip, all of his instincts telling him to snap his hips up and yank Kris down and be inside him already, but he had enough control to rein in his impulses and keep mostly still.
Adam closed his eyes and just... waited for Kris to relax around him. He could hear Kris panting and feel his shuddering breaths and Adam had always felt that sex was the closest that the universe actually came to a heaven and he really wanted – oh, please – he wanted Kris to agree.
Kris's fingers had been tight on Adam's shoulders and they loosened now, just a little. Adam let Kris slip down a little on his cock, so fucking slowly that it was like a personal torture invented just for him. Time ached as it inched by and Adam could feel the sweat dripping down his back. A little ways in, Kris let out a little hiccuping sob that made Adam freeze.
“Do you want me to-” Adam wasn't even sure he could finish that question because the only real possibility – pull out – was the exact opposite of what he wanted. Adam opened his eyes and... and Kris was looking at him and his mouth was swollen but he didn't look... he wasn't in pain. He was obviously feeling the strain, but he wasn't actually hurting.
Adam let Kris down a little more, watching avidly as Kris's mouth dropped open – his lower jaw zigging a little to the side, like when he was singing his big notes – and Adam could see his tongue pressing against his upper lip. Adam leaned forward and licked lightly at Kris's mouth, not wanting to put any pressure on it, but wanting to connect as more of him filled Kris up. Kris smiled at him, his eyes crinkling up at the corners, then as Adam kept going, Kris shivered, his hands clutching at Adam's skin.
He was so quiet and that wasn't something that Adam normally liked – he enjoyed it when guys talked, told him what they were liking, if he was doing something wrong – but there was something about the way Kris was just so... overwhelmed, like his words had run away. Oh, Adam hoped that this wasn't a groupie thing because he really – he really wanted to keep this one.
“How're you feeling, baby?” Adam asked and Kris's eyes focused on him again. “You like that?” And Kris's forehead creased up, like his brain was needing to work extra hard to concentrate on anything other than Adam's cock inside him.
“...'s good.” Kris's words slurred like he'd been drinking hard for hours. “Don't... don't stop.”
Adam took Kris at his word, easing him down steady and slow until they were pressed up tight together. Sometimes, Adam thought he loved this part even more than coming, this moment when he was finally all the way inside a guy – even wearing a condom didn't detract from it much – and Kris had pretty much a perfect ass and he was as hot and tight inside as any guy Adam had ever been with. Adam pressed a kiss against Kris's shoulder and ground his hips upward, reaching down to feel the stretch of Kris around his cock. He could feel Kris starting to harden against his stomach, and that loosened a knot of tension inside, getting that physical proof that Kris was enjoying this.
The rhythm that Adam set was slow, more rocking than thrusting, hips barely moving. He stroked his hand in circles on Kris's back, both to soothe Kris through his first time and just to touch him, and each lingering caress only made Adam more willing to draw this out as long as he could. He was thinking from Kris's reactions that this would be far from their only time, but some moments were meant to be savored.
Since Kris's vocalizations were pretty much limited to whimpers and gasps, Adam found himself filling the silence – he told Kris how beautiful he was, how good it felt to be inside him, whispered dirty words about what he and Kris could do in the future – all the way up until Kris cupped Adam's cheek and tilted his head down, finding his mouth and licking into it. The kiss was at the same tender, dreamy pace as the sex and Adam let himself get lost inside it.
Everything about being with Kris in this moment felt so peaceful that Adam was a bit startled to realize that he was on the edge of coming, only half a breath from tipping over. His fingers skidded over Kris's damp skin, and his eyes closed as he slipped into the most mellow orgasm he'd ever experienced, his muscles relaxing in one long exhale that left his body tingling with satisfaction.
He sucked on Kris's lower lip one last time and then pulled away, a soft smile curling up the corners of his mouth. Kris was still in a hazy state of arousal, blinking slowly and irregularly, the dilation of his pupils making his eyes sparkle where the light hit them. Adam didn't know what they were going to say to the crew, because Kris looked so thoroughly fucked that anyone who saw him now would immediately know what he'd been up to – he just had to hope that everyone's obvious affection for Kris would translate into keeping their mouths shut, because shattering Kris's wholesome image might be the one thing that could lose him the title.
Adam wrapped an arm around Kris's waist and hauled him off Adam's lap – Kris closed his eyes in a momentary wince when Adam's cock pulled free – and settled him down on the couch. Then he peeled the condom off himself, tying it off and stuffing it into the pocket of his pants where they lay on the ground – if it burst, well... worse things had happened to better pants. He turned his attention back to Kris, who was staring at him through half-closed eyes. He crawled up onto the couch again and ran his hands up Kris's legs, leaning over and licking a stripe up Kris's cock, which was still slightly bitter from the first time he'd come. He cleaned Kris off with his tongue, then just sucked him in, going all the way down.
He stayed there for a while, pressing his nose against Kris's stomach and humming low in the back of his throat. Kris's hand came up to rest on the back of his neck, not pushing but instead caressing lightly. He pressed his fingers into Kris's hips, getting him to angle himself just a little more upward. When he pulled off Kris, he did it slowly, tongue darting out all the way up and then swirling around the head. He grinned up at Kris and then bent to take Kris's balls in his mouth, sucking until Kris's hand tightened on his neck. He took Kris's cock in his mouth again and, this time, he didn't leave, though he sometimes shifted up just to suck on the head.
When he heard Kris's breath shift, he pulled back, resting Kris's cock on his tongue. When he glanced up, Kris's eyebrows were pulled together, his lips pursed as he tried to shift his hips and Adam refused to let him.
“Gonna...” Kris said, and he sounded almost like he wasn't getting enough air.
Adam couldn't say anything without releasing Kris's cock, but he tightened his grip and sucked harder, until Kris gasped out a shaky word – was that Adam's name? -- and his hips tried to buck against Adam's hands and the salty-bitter warmth of his come flooded Adam's mouth. Adam waited until Kris was done and then pulled off, keeping his mouth shut and not swallowing. Kris was utterly spent, his head flopped back on the arm of the couch and Adam leaned over him, placing a finger on Kris's chin and gently pulling until Kris's mouth fell open for him.
He pressed his lips against Kris's and then opened his mouth, and Kris jerked as Adam gave his come back to him, but then he swallowed, shuddering, and they kept kissing until the taste had faded from both their mouths.
Then Adam sat up, wiping at a trail of come that had escaped and licking it off his thumb. When he looked back over at Kris, he had to smile. Kris was touching his mouth, his eyebrows quirked up in puzzlement, and he was sprawled out along the length of the couch like a rag doll, one of his legs half-way off and swinging, his foot not quite touching the floor.
“Huh,” Kris said and his baffled look shifted to Adam. Adam shrugged and then he reached down to snag his pants, carefully pulling them back on. He could hear Kris moving behind him. “Oh, wow. This couch... this couch totally needs to be cleaned.” There was a slight note of horror in Kris's voice and Adam was wondering if the possible consequences were sinking in – not the moral ones or the ones about his marriage, but the very concrete and practical ones about having sex in a room provided by someone else.
“It's just lube,” Adam said, pulling on his shirt. “It could be worse.”
There was a moment of silence while he let Kris think about that. When he reached down for his boots and socks, he noticed Kris's chain and wedding ring and he picked those up first. He turned to Kris and held them out. Kris was sitting up now, touching his head like he was dizzy, and when he saw the chain dangling from Adam's hand, he shook his head.
“Just... just put them on the table,” he said.
The ring clanked when Adam dropped it, spinning for a moment before coming to a rest. It was actually really nice, the sort of big ring that was meant to be visible. “Why don't you wear it?” Adam asked, neatly coiling the chain next to it.
Kris chuckled and Adam waved a hand at him – they both knew what he meant.
“It didn't feel necessary after a while,” Kris said. “I wore it constantly for the first... six months or so, but my wife-” His voice cracked and Adam turned to him, resting his hand on Kris's bare knee, his thumb stroking gently. “-she knew she didn't have anything to worry about. I've never wanted any woman but her.” Their gazes met and Kris's mouth curled up into an ironic smile. “And by the time... when I realized that I was in danger of breaking my vows, it just felt like putting it back on would be... hypocritical.”
“I'm sorry,” Adam offered, but Kris shrugged, covering Adam's hand with his own.
“You didn't force me into anything,” he said, quietly but intensely. “I wanted this – I want this – and I'll deal with whatever comes along with it. If...” And Kris broke eye-contact, looking away and down. “I mean... if you want-”
“I do,” Adam interrupted, lifting Kris's hand to his mouth for a kiss. “Believe me, I do. Besides, we're astrologically compatible!”
Kris dissolved into giggles, his face completely crinkling up and even his body curling tightly in, like he was feeling the laughter with every inch of himself. “How do you even know that?” he asked, once he'd recovered enough to talk again.
Adam blushed, not quite wanting to admit that he'd looked up Kris's birthdate back when Kris had first made it through to the finals, before he'd even realized exactly how talented Kris was. “Just trust me,” he said.
“Yeah, okay,” Kris said, and he kissed Adam briefly, but the second he pulled away, Adam tugged him back, and the kiss stretched out and there were still so many things that could go wrong, but Adam had a good feeling about this. Kris was so warm and sweet in his arms and Adam could just picture them ten years from now, talking about music and how they'd been so worried, once upon a time, about Kris coming out to the media. They would have a house in Los Angeles and maybe one in the countryside somewhere – if the countryside still existed in ten years – and they would make music, together and separately. Kris's family would still love him and they would all get together – because he just knew that his own family would like Kris even better once they knew him in person and not just through his performances on Idol – and they would be right up there with Ellen and Portia as a couple to envy and adore.
And Adam kissed Kris more deeply, pressing Kris up against him, and he let himself believe.
~end~
Summary: Adam had never slept with anyone who had this much to lose.
Pairings: Kris/Adam
Rating: NC-17; Adult; Sexual Content
Notes: Set in the same AU as Rewriting History. Having missed his chance at trying out for S8, Kris had watched in awe as Adam Lambert destroyed the competition that year. Now, he's gotten into the finals of S9 and Adam is a guest singer on the show.
He was supposed to feel bad when a relationship ended, Adam knew. He'd felt like crap when it ended with Brad and moderately horrible after things with Drake had gone south. But all he really felt after he finally broke off his relationship with Bryan was a sense of relief. And it wasn't fair of him – all things considered, Bryan had probably been a better boyfriend than Brad and Drake combined. Or at least a more convenient one.
He'd never complained or fussed or wanted more than Adam did. And when Adam had tried, politely, to explain that their relationship had somehow developed all the spark of wet lettuce, Bryan had tried to fix things.
Apparently, Adam wasn't into relationships that actually went smoothly.
That didn't mean, though, that it would be a good idea to let himself get a crush on little Kris Allen, no matter how adorable he was when he was coming. Especially when the kid might end up being the ninth American Idol, which Adam thought was more and more likely as time went on. Sure, the first thing that he'd noticed about the guy had been his mouth, but the voice had been a near second. And there wasn't a chance in hell that Idol would want two gay winners in a row – if they found out what he and Kris had done, they would probably start trying to edge him out of the competition and Kris was too good for Adam to let that happen to him.
Especially when he couldn't be certain that the kid had anything but a massive case of hero-worship that Adam had accidentally encouraged in the wrong direction. Adam shifted in bed, lightly touching himself as he thought of Kris's face, so earnest as he told Adam that he'd voted him for all season. His eyes had been wide and still surprised from when Adam had first tapped him on the shoulder and asked to speak with him alone.
Even better had been the shell-shocked way that Kris had looked at him afterwards, his mouth red and trembling. Such a pretty, pretty boy. Adam jerked himself slowly, letting his thoughts linger on the way Kris's tongue had flicked out to lick his lips, the confused satisfaction in his eyes, and the way his entire body had seemed to be shaky in the aftermath.
He dimly recalled from one of the video packages that the kid was married. Oh, unless he was thinking of that Karl guy. If Kris was married, Adam couldn't remember her name, though he thought she might be blonde. Unless that was a sister or something. He tried to remember if Kris had been wearing a wedding ring but, honestly, he'd had more important things to think about at the time. He'd have to look it up later.
Not that any of it mattered if Kris decided not to call him. People could say whatever shit they needed to invent about Adam, but he didn't stay where he wasn't wanted; Kris would have to invite him in if he wanted a second taste.
At this point in his life, Adam could afford to be picky.
Adam closed his eyes and thought of the way that Kris had said his name, in a tiny breathy voice, and let that memory bring him off. Then he reached over for the wet cloth he'd left on the nightstand and cleaned himself off, tossing it away and turning over to go to sleep.
Kris didn't call him any time in the next three weeks, but his clothes on the show seemed to get progressively tighter. And Adam learned that Kris was married, but that his wife hadn't come to any of the shows after the semifinals.
And anyway, if Kris was gay but married, it wasn't Adam's fault if he hadn't worked it out for himself before now. It's not like Adam could keep track of which of the contestants were out-of-bounds...
Though Adam might have subconsciously blocked out the fact that Kris was married, because he hadn't lied when he'd told the kid that he'd been following Kris's progress over the course of the season. He'd started out a little rough – though he'd been pretty enough to make up for it – but ever since around Top 9, when he'd taken on Donna Summers, Kris had been knocking his performances absolutely out of the park and, when Adam checked around, he discovered that he was far from the only one going crazy over the guy. Michael Slezak at Idolatry had been calling the season for him ever since Top 7 Week, when he'd torn down and rearranged Bowie's “Rock n Roll Suicide” into a soul-driven lament that had reportedly made tears run down Kara's cheeks.
Adam hadn't watched that episode live, but he'd seen Kris's performance on youtube afterwards and it had taken his breath away. Anyone who hadn't been touched probably completely lacked a heart, he'd told Allison on the phone that night. She'd murmured agreement and they'd both giggled over how cute Kris was and promised each other to remember to vote for him when they could.
And a week later, he managed to get into the kid's pants. Which he still hadn't told Allison about. He hadn't told anyone.
He also hadn't quite been able to get interested in anyone else, which was freaking him out. One quick... hell, they hadn't even gotten their clothes off. Adam hadn't even gotten off. As far as sex went, it hadn't been a big deal.
Except that it was Kris's face that he was seeing every time that he jerked off these days; Kris's voice that he was hearing in his head when he came.
It was really fucking annoying and he was starting to wonder what he'd been thinking, giving the guy a free ride and then walking away and waiting for a call – he should have dragged Kris into the nearest closet and played with him until he was begging for it, until he was raw and open, nipples tight and used, until he was totally fucked with Adam's come drippi-
Yeah. And Adam would have gotten into so much trouble with management that his ass would still be sore.
The screwed up part is that he's almost thinking that it would have been worth all that trouble. If he'd fucked Kris properly, maybe he'd be able to get the guy out of his head.
So, it's kinda funny that when Kris finally does call him, it's one of the few times that he's thinking about something else – he'd been driving out to the studio when an unknown number came up on his phone and, well... anyone else calling that particular phone would already have a name attached, so he was smiling when he answered.
“You've reached Adam Lambert, world famous rock star and the greatest lay in history. How can I help you today, baby?”
There was a long pause before the response came. “I'm... really hoping you don't always answer the phone that way.” Yeah, that was Kris's voice all right and he could barely speak for laughing, so Adam gave himself an A-plus on that one.
“Special occasions only,” Adam said, dropping his voice a bit. Brad had called it his 'phone sex' voice and he'd definitely have heard it enough to know. “But, Kris, I know you're still in the competition, so I've gotta ask – business or pleasure?”
“Business,” Kris said and Adam let out a little disappointed sigh that made Kris giggle. “I need to pick out a new song for the finals next Tuesday and I was hoping... I'm going to ask if I can do Cracked Clown.”
Adam let out a low whistle. The kid had guts, though he'd proved that more than once already this season. And Adam was really glad that the judges were letting the contestants have a personal song in the final two again this year, because he'd really missed that about his own season.
“I know- shit, sorry, Adam, if you thought- I know I can't sing the way you can,” Kris said, stumbling over his words. “I'm not going to try to do you. But I wanna take it and strip it back, focus on the words and the melody – which is so amazing – and give it my own spin. But I want you to be okay with it. So. That's what I'm going to ask to sing and I think I'm going to put it at the end, have it be the last thing people hear – if you were watching, you probably saw that I won the coin toss over Rachel, so I'm going second and-”
“Hey,” Adam said, finally breaking through Kris's nervous chatter. Kris's words stuttered slightly and then stopped. “I can't think of anything I'd like more than hearing you sing one of my songs.”
“Oh.” It was a tiny little breath of a sound that made Adam's cock twitch with interest, despite the inconvenient setting.
“In fact, why I don't give the production offices a call and see if I can go over it with you, since I'm going to be performing on the finale anyway,” Adam suggested. He glanced in his mirrors and then switched lanes, only a couple of minutes away now.
“I'd like that,” Kris said and, as far as Adam was concerned, that was that.
Since it was all through 19 anyway, and since Adam couched his request in terms of maintaining the song's artistic integrity, it was all easy to arrange and Adam was given permission to visit Kris whenever he wanted to, in order to help work out whatever new arrangement Kris was planning.
Which meant that Adam moved his Friday meetings back a week – nothing all that urgent going on right now, since he'd been working on his Idol performance anyway – and he found himself alone in a nice, quiet room with Kris and a guitar.
The initial meet-up with Kris had been in front of cameras and they'd need to have a public room 'mentoring' session at some point just in case the show wanted to air it, but Kris had insisted on privacy for actually working out his song and it was obvious that he wasn't saying it for Adam's sake, from the reaction of the camera crew, and it seemed like it was habit for Kris to lock the door behind himself.
And, wow, that camera crew adored the fuck out of Kris Allen. One of the things that Adam had discovered, in his wander backstage before meeting up with Kris, was that Kris had completely captured the hearts of the crew, his fellow contestants, and all of the judges except Simon, who seemed to be privately rooting for Rachel Hart, even though he told the press that it was anyone's game.
But they were alone now, and Adam was only barely keeping himself from pouncing. Kris was talking and, really, Adam was sure that it was fascinating, but he'd been thinking about Kris for weeks now and sitting around talking about a song that Adam was certain Kris would have no problem adapting into whatever he wanted to make it was definitely not the reason that he'd come.
“-with a pink canoe,” Kris said, and Adam wrinkled his nose.
“What?”
Kris laughed, carefully resting his guitar on one of the couches and then bouncing up and coming over to touch the back of Adam's hand.
“Knew you weren't listening,” he said, but he didn't sound irritated. “I'm going to tell you something, okay?” Adam nodded and Kris turned Adam's hand over, exposing his Eye of Horus. “After I saw this tattoo for the first time, I seriously considered getting one. Not on my wrist, but maybe... maybe like on my hip or something. Katy told me that it was a crazy, stupid idea and I never did it, but I've been thinking- ever since what happened, I'm been going back and thinking about everything I ever felt when I was watching you last season. All the stuff that I thought was... innocent, I guess?”
Kris was looking down at their hands and Adam could feel him trembling and, yeah, Kris had been planning that speech. He'd been hoping for a chance to say it. Adam was so fucking in that he could practically taste it.
“I thought I just loved your music,” Kris said, and that drop in his voice was making Adam's cock stir. “That I just... admired you being so brave and so strong. Then, when I met you- when you-”
Kris's voice faltered and he was bright, bright red, so Adam decided to make this easier on him. He took Kris's hand into a real handhold and led him over to stand by the empty couch. Then he looked over at Kris, who still couldn't meet his eyes, and he cupped Kris's cheek and tilted his face up toward Adam's. Finally, Kris's eyes flicked up and, once their gazes were locked, Adam felt Kris's whole body just shiver with need. Yeah, Adam was familiar with repression when it was right under his hands and he just had to send a thanks out to the universe for letting him be the guy who was going to teach Kris that it was okay to do what his body wanted him to do.
He leaned down and he gave Kris the sweetest, most tender kiss that he'd ever given anyone – sucking and delicate and so, so slow, like honey dripping down into warm tea. When he pulled back, Kris's eyes were closed at first and they drifted open dreamily and Adam reminded himself to be careful with this one. Tiny little Southern Christian with a tiny little blonde wife and a family that adored him to pieces – Adam had never slept with anyone who had this much to lose. Fuck, he'd never slept with anyone who could cost him this much – RCA had been great to him, but causing a gay sex scandal with the next American Idol – and, in Adam's opinion, there wasn't a chance that Kris wasn't that – he wasn't sure even the most laid-back company in the world would support him through that.
And then Kris smiled up at him, small and hesitant, and... yeah, they were definitely doing this.
“We're going do this the right way, okay, baby?” Adam stroked his hand down Kris's neck, his heart skipping slightly when he realized that what he'd assumed was a button-down shirt actually had snaps. Kris was nodding, swaying into Adam's touch, his cheeks still pink. “I am going to take off your clothes and touch you all over and, if you let me, I will fuck you right here on this couch. Will you, Kris? Will you let me?”
Kris's gaze had snapped to Adam's on the word 'fuck', wide and startled. He looked like the best porn in the world, all the better because he wasn't pretending, because every tremble and blush was completely genuine. When he realized that Adam really wanted an answer, he swallowed hard and Adam could feel the bobbing of his adam's apple and he felt a sudden urge to lean over and lick at Kris's neck, but he held back, wanting Kris to say 'yes'.
“Yeah,” Kris breathed and Adam raised an eyebrow. Kris licked his lips, and Adam wondered what he'd look like all done up, dark red lipstick and glitter and eyeshadow. He'd have to ask Kris to let him, sometime, and he'd maybe need to dress Kris up in leather and spikes and... hmm, a collar. He slid his hand down to Kris's chest, popping open a couple of the snaps on Kris's shirt. Kris breathed in sharply. “Yes,” he said, his hands lightly touching Adam's hips now. “You can do that.”
“Do what?” Adam asked and when Kris looked at him, Adam blinked down innocently. “What can I do to you?”
The color flooded back into Kris's cheeks as the realization that Adam wanted him to say the words hit him. Fuck, it was pretty. Had Adam ever had anyone this raw and new before? Clearly, he should have, because he had to admit that it was a rush seeing Kris's reactions.
He nuzzled at Kris's ear, licking up the side and briefly sucking the earlobe into his mouth, then he said, very softly, “If you can't say it out loud, try whispering it to me.”
Kris's fingers clenched on Adam's hips – and he had a nice, tight grip – and he took in a deep breath and Adam slipped a hand around to his back, finding that strip of skin between his shirt and his jeans, both bits of clothing so much tighter than they'd been the last time he'd gotten the chance to do this.
Kris's first try at a sentence was just a soft rush of air, his words too low to distinguish, and Adam told him, quietly, that it wasn't good enough and he felt the way that made Kris tense all over and, yeah, he was going to need to test Kris more later, after the show and the tour and maybe even the craziness of the first few months was over, because he was really getting the feeling that they could have a lot of fun together.
“I want...” Kris said, haltingly, and Adam dropped an encouraging kiss on the side of his head. “I want you to- to fuck me.”
“Mmm. Pretty,” Adam said, rubbing his hand up Kris's back in approval. He nipped at the top of Kris's ear. “Pull the lube and condom out of my back pocket and toss them on the couch.”
Another quick, shuddering breath from Kris and then he felt both Kris's hands slipping around, trying to find the right pocket. Adam's pants were tight, of course, so Kris sneaking a hand in to pull out the supplies was really... delightful. The tube and the condom packet seemed to land on the couch without a problem, so he had to give props to Kris for having coordination even when he was so clearly gagging for it.
“Adam, I-” Kris pulled away a little, enough so that he could tilt his face up and look at Adam. Adam's fingers were tangling in the chain Kris was wearing around his neck, his other hand resting on the small of Kris's back. Kris's hands crept up in between them, and he tugged a little at the edges of Adam's jacket. “I wanna see if your freckles go all the way down.”
And it was Adam's turn to blush now, which he told himself was mostly surprise. Kris's mouth widened into a delighted smile and Adam let his hands fall away so that Kris could push Adam's jacket down around his shoulders. It fell into a heap by Adam's feet and he kicked it away, turning so that his back was facing the couch. Kris had an adorably scrunched-up puzzled look on his face, but it cleared up when Adam put Kris's hands on his belt buckle. Then Kris bit down on his lip, his gaze slipping down to where his hands were on Adam's waist.
While Kris was unbuckling his belt, Adam pulled his own shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side to rest with his jacket. He grinned when he heard Kris's little noise of surprise at discovering that Adam didn't wear anything under his pants. Then he wrapped his fingers around Kris's wrists and pulled them away. Kris looked up at him, and he was panting slightly, his mouth open. Adam let himself slide down onto the couch, still holding Kris's wrists. Kris stumbled closer, and Adam spread his legs wide enough for Kris to stand between them.
“I want you on your knees-” Adam paused just long enough to savor Kris's startled, blushing reaction. “-so that you can help me out of these boots. Are you willing to do that?”
And Kris was nodding, his teeth biting down on that poor lower lip of his again, and Adam pressed Kris's hands down against his thighs and then let go, slumping back against the couch, though he didn't take his eyes off of Kris. Kris braced himself on Adam's legs and slowly let himself sink down to his knees. He moved his hands to Adam's right ankle and Adam helpfully lifted his foot, thoroughly enjoying Kris's continued blushes. They were boots that were meant to be seen, so they had buckles that Kris had to undo.
Adam rubbed himself through his pants and tried to remember if any of the guys he'd done before had actually been virgins. Tim, maybe, but he might have just been saying that because he figured it made guys hot. Or all the way back near the beginning... but still no one like Kris.
Now, his first boot and sock were gone and Kris had started on the other one, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. Mmm, that mouth of his had been doing things to Adam since the very first time he'd seen it – he'd gotten together with a bunch of old friends to watch the audition episodes, because Alisan claimed that she'd known by watching the rest of the auditions last season that no one stood a chance against him and she wanted to see if she could call it again this year. Which, honestly, he thought was bullshit and he didn't even believe that she'd watched most of last season, but whatever, he went to the viewing parties anyway. And then little Kris Allen had walked on screen, wearing a pale plaid shirt and baggy jeans, and Simon hadn't been sure about him, which Adam had understood. Everyone knew that a serious competitor shouldn't come out and say that he wasn't the best. He and Brad had agreed though, that the guy had a seriously pretty mouth – and then Alisan had said that Kris was a dead ringer for Brad and the picture comparison party had started up, with Adam and Brad both firmly on the side of 'vaguely similar but not even close to identical'. Over on her side of the argument, Alisan called them both blind idiots.
They'd been fun parties, really.
Adam's feet were bare now and Kris seemed at a loss, his hands pressed down against the carpet, not looking at Adam. That chain of his was swinging outside his shirt and- it actually looked like it had a ring on there. Maybe his wedding ring? Adam tried to push down the irrational surge of guilt that swept over him – because if Kris was cheating, then it was his fault, not Adam's – but it looked like Kris was actually trembling. Adam leaned forward, tucking a finger under Kris's chin and getting him to look up. “Hey,” he said, softly. “If this isn't what you really want, we don't have to do this. We can... we can work on the song together.”
Kris's eyes were wide and scared, genuine fear in them that was making Adam regret doing any of this, but then Kris shot forward, his mouth landing hard and painful on Adam's and his hands coming up to clutch at Adam's hair. This kiss had teeth in it and Kris was shaking hard against him and... shit... was he crying? But there were no tears, just dry sobs that melted into Adam's mouth.
“Please,” Kris said, the sound nearly swallowed up between them. Kris pulled back a little, just looking at Adam, one of his hands sliding around to touch Adam's cheek. “Maybe this is wrong.” Kris paused and Adam watched as a dash of blood welled up from a tiny cut on Kris's mouth. “No. I know it's wrong.” Adam tried to speak and Kris put his hand over Adam's mouth, shaking his head. “I made a vow. Marriage is a sacrament. I promised, before God and Katy and the world, that I would honor and cherish and be faithful only to her, for the rest of my life, so help me God.”
And Adam hadn't ever really given any specific thoughts to the 'Christian' part of Kris's blurb, but the passion in Kris's voice was making him think twice about that. Kris pulled his hand down, but before Adam could say anything, not that he had a clue what he would say, Kris was kissing him again, his hand pressed high against Adam's chest, this kiss as soft and gentle as the other one had been violent.
“I almost died once,” Kris said, when the kiss was done. Kris's mouth looked swollen now, abused, and part of Adam was cringing because he wasn't sure how they were going to hide this, but Kris didn't look worried anymore, just slightly hazy, maybe distant. He wasn't looking at Adam, but playing with the necklaces that Adam still had on, his fingers catching on the cords. “In Morocco on a... it doesn't matter. What happened made me think about life and what I wanted out of it. I wanted to help people and make music. Serve God. And my family... they have always supported me. In everything.” His eyes darted up for a second to make eye-contact, and then he was looking down again, and his voice was low and miserable. “I don't know if they'll... if this is something that they can understand.”
“I'm sorry,” Adam whispered and if this was a rejection, he could take it. But Kris was shaking his head again and leaning forward to drop a light kiss at the corner of Adam's mouth.
“I almost auditioned for last season,” Kris said and he reached out and brushed at Adam's hair, his thumb lingering on Adam's forehead. “But I lost my voice the day of the audition. I wondered, after what happened with us, if God was trying... trying to guide me away from you, if maybe it was God that took away my voice, so that I couldn't meet you. And that maybe what I'm doing is going against God's will.”
Adam didn't really believe in a God – a general higher power ordering the universe was something that he gave serious thought to, as well as the concept of destiny, but an actual God had always sounded silly to him. But it was real enough to Kris, which made Adam really wish that Kris had given him a call during the last three weeks, if this had been eating him up all that time. Kris pulled a little bit further away and then looked Adam in the eyes, holding the stare this time. And he reached behind himself, and the chain around his neck dropped off, catching in his shirt.
“What I realized...” Kris said, picking up the chain and taking the ring off it – it was definitely a wedding ring – and then placing them both on the floor next to Adam's boots. “When I was done thinking about it, what I realized was that I didn't care. I mean, I cared, but not enough not to call you. Not enough not to say 'yes' to your offer, even though I knew what you really wanted.” Kris reached out and brushed his knuckles against Adam's cheek and his smile was close to making Adam cry. “I want this more... more than a recording contract, more than my wife... more than I want to make God happy.”
And there were about a million alarms going off in Adam's head right now, but he pushed those thoughts away, pulling Kris up to kiss him, trying to be careful with Kris's mouth. He leaned back, tugging Kris up into his lap, getting Kris to settle his knees on either side of Adam's legs. He wanted... oh, there was nothing Adam wanted more right now than to make all this worth it for Kris. He yanked open Kris's shirt and slid it off, then needed to kick it away when it landed on his foot. Kris – Adam ran his hand down Kris's chest – Kris was perfect, tiny but still strong. Soft skin, dark nipples that Adam had to tug at, not much hair except for the trail that led down to his jeans. A barely-visible scar that Adam ran his fingers across, wondering whether or not it had to do with Morocco.
And Kris was far from passive – he seemed to be exploring Adam with just as much zeal, pressing his fingers against clusters of freckles, brushing kisses against Adam's skin. He discovered a ticklish spot and spent some time there, obviously enjoying Adam's squirms and giggles. He wrinkled his nose when he saw Adam's underarm hair and whispered, “Wow, you really are a redhead,” like he hadn't believed that Adam's hair was dyed until he had touchable proof that all of it wasn't black. He licked at Adam's nipples and seemed disappointed when Adam didn't respond with as much enthusiasm as he'd expected, so Adam told him to bite, just a little, and Kris looked at him like he was crazy, but he tried it and then he laughed when Adam's hips bucked up against him.
Adam could probably happily do this for... fuck... for hours, but he wasn't sure how long Kris normally holed up in his room before emerging for air and they were going to cause enough questions without adding more, so it was probably time to speed things along. Kris stilled when Adam put his hands on Kris's belt, but when Adam looked at him, he just nodded and his hands were tight around Adam's shoulders. Adam undid the belt and opened Kris's pants up, and Kris rose up onto his knees, his pants slipping down around his hips. He was wearing plain white briefs and there was an obvious bulge that twitched when Adam touched it. Adam reached down to try to figure out Kris's shoe situation, and he was wearing half-laced converse shoes that slipped off easily enough when Adam applied pressure. Soon, Kris was barefoot and Adam got him to wriggle and kick his way out of his jeans, leaving him in just his briefs.
“Baby, we are getting you some boxers ASAP,” Adam said, and when Kris opened his mouth – possibly to protest or something silly like that – Adam dragged him into a dirty open-mouth kiss that left him panting afterwards. While Kris was still looking dazed, Adam added, “Or you can start wearing nothing underneath. It's up to you.”
Adam pressed his hand against Kris's cock, getting a feel for him through the briefs. Just about what he'd have guessed, given Kris's height and proportions. Then he snapped the elastic and Kris jerked in surprise, gasping a little.
“How about you pull those off for me?” Adam leaned back against the couch, smirking when Kris looked at him. Kris had a few other marks now, from places Adam had sucked or nipped at him, one of them on the side of his neck, higher than his shirts reached. Make-up was not going to be happy with anyone if they saw that, but Adam was having a hard time caring.
Kris stuck his fingers under the elastic and carefully pulled his briefs down, his cock popping up to bump against his stomach. He seemed hesitant, so Adam reached out to give him a hand, guiding the briefs off and then running his fingers up the length of Kris's cock while Kris shuddered in reaction. Kris was... again, very nice. There was some hair around the base, but it wasn't overwhelming, and his cock was straight and a little thick for its length.
“You're pretty here, too,” Adam said, lightly playing with the tip of Kris's cock, and Kris's flush extended down his chest a little, which was cute. Kris would be more relaxed if he came first, so Adam brought his hand back to his mouth to his palm for a quick lick and then he started jerking Kris off, smooth and slow. “Tell me what you've done, okay?”
Kris blinked at him unsteadily, and it looked like it took him a second to focus on Adam's words. “You mean-”
Adam grinned, twisting his hand a little and liking the way that made Kris move his hips. “Yeah. I mean.”
“Um. Wow,” Kris said. He bit down on his lip and then went “Ow” in an aggrieved tone, like he'd forgotten that it would hurt. It seemed like he was having a hard time thinking, so Adam slowed down his hand. And Kris was either pouting a little or Adam had really done a number on that lip. Maybe both.
“Come on – what've you done?”
“Just... sex, I don't know,” Kris said, shifting his hips restlessly. “Is this a... do you get-”
“Do I like dirty talk?” Adam asked. Kris nodded and then breathed in sharply when Adam tightened his grip. “Yeah, but this isn't about that. I want to know what you've done, so that I know what I can show you. So, I don't care if you think it's stupid, tell me. Everything from jerking off to specific positions.”
“That sounds – ah! – very scientific,” Kris said, his voice unsteady. The tip of his cock was leaking steadily and Adam took advantage of that, spreading the liquid around. “I jerk off, of course. I've had- I've done oral sex-”
“Which way?” Adam asked, reaching down to stroke over Kris's balls and the base of his cock. Kris shook his head, his nose wrinkling up. “You've gotten blown, right... and you've eaten her out?”
“Yeah,” Kris agreed and he tilted his head. “I just... how does that help?”
“You'll see,” Adam said, touching the hot strip of skin right below Kris's cock and then going up and starting up the twisting strokes again. “Keep going.”
“We've had sex,” Kris started and Adam flicked his fingers against him, and Kris flinched in reaction and then nodded, breathing in. “Straight sex? I don't know. Adam-” Adam rubbed his fingertips over Kris's circumcision scar, then under the bundle of nerves that was just under the head. Kris whined in the back of his throat and Adam went back to regular, long pulls. “Missionary position. She's been on top. I like seeing her face, so we've never- I think that's all I've done.”
“Good,” Adam said, and he leaned forward to kiss Kris's cheek. “That leaves a lot of new shit to try out.” Kris shivered in response and Adam grinned, then got really serious about jerking Kris off. It only took a couple of minutes before Kris was shuddering out his orgasm and, yeah, Adam had remembered right about how cute he looked when he came.
Kris was just as shaky afterwards as he'd been before and Adam had to kiss him, even if it made him squeak a little. His hand lingered on Kris's softening cock until Kris shifted uncomfortably and reached down to brush it away. Adam brought his hand up to his mouth and licked it clean – he hadn't gotten the chance to taste Kris last time, which was something he'd been regretting. Then he kissed Kris again, sharing Kris's taste with him, enjoying his startled little quiver.
He'd tuned out his own need so that he could take care of Kris, but now that Kris had come and was such a sweet pile of exhaustion on top of him, Adam's cock was really reminding him of that promise he'd made to fuck Kris.
Honestly, he was torn on whether or not he should. He was aching for it and he'd certainly make Kris enjoy himself, but he'd also maybe caused enough damage to Kris's perfect life for one day. He gathered Kris close, his mouth quirking up in a smile when Kris's immediate reaction to being tucked against Adam's shoulder was to kiss it. He pressed his mouth against the top of Kris's head and ran his hand down the line of Kris's spine, feeling the vertebrae through his skin. Then he tucked a hand under Kris's ass and hauled him just a little closer, his fingers dipping into the crack and touching Kris's dry, tight hole. Kris wiggled against him, making a soft noise that was almost lost against Adam's skin.
“How you feeling?” Adam asked, his fingers flexing. “Up for more or do you need to work on that song?”
Kris laughed, low and sweet, and he was so relaxed that he almost felt limp in Adam's arms. “No point in stopping at half a sin.” And his accent was richer and deeper than Adam had ever heard before and it kinda sent tingles down his spine. “I want-” And Kris took a breath, and Adam could hear the smile in his voice. “I want every inch of your love.”
And they were both laughing a little now, because that was what had started the ball rolling the first time, and when he whispered, “I'll have to give you your own personal performance someday,” Kris moaned and Adam was really hoping the room was properly soundproofed. He stroked down Kris's back again and Kris arched into his touch. He smacked Kris lightly on the ass and said, “Hey, babe, shift off a little. I really want to get these off.”
Kris wasn't looking at him as Adam slid out of his pants, though Adam couldn't see why he would still be shy at this point. Almost as soon as there was skin, Kris was touching him again, relaxing onto Adam's lap. Kris was... twenty-four? Twenty-five, maybe. Adam could probably get him to come again. He decided to make it a goal.
He supported Kris's back with one hand and reached out to Kris's face with the other, encouraging him to actually take a look. Kris's gaze darted down and then away again and Adam chuckled, leaning forward to kiss Kris's cheek and whisper, “I promise it won't bite.”
Kris laughed too, a little weakly, and then he reached down with his right hand, his gaze dropping, too. When Kris's fingers brushed against the tip of Adam's cock, they both jerked, Adam's hips bucking up even as Kris pulled his hand away with a startled gasp.
“It's not so different from yours,” Adam said and Kris nodded, but his mouth twisted slightly to the side.
“It just-” Kris reached out again, his fingers only a breath away from touching Adam. “It's weird. I just thought, when I touched you, I thought this makes it real, but that's stupid because... because it's real already.” Kris's fingers brushed Adam's cock again, but this time they stayed, light as butterflies touching down. “I never notice how hot it is when it's mine.” His hand curved around and Adam could feel the calluses on his fingers from all those years of playing guitar. “Or how soft.” His voice had dropped down too, not soft enough to be a whisper, but low enough that it felt intensely intimate.
Adam tried his best to keep his hips still, but he hadn't accounted for Kris's voice, which seemed to wrap around his cock just as surely as Kris's hand did. He rested his hand on the back of Kris's neck and leaned forward, looking down at where Kris's hand stroked him up and down, still exploring. He grabbed Kris by the wrist – part of him gratified at Kris's disappointed little whimper – and set Kris's hand firmly on Adam's shoulder.
“I'm pretty sure I was doing that right,” Kris objected.
“Maybe a little too right,” Adam said, and he saw the moment that Kris got it, earning another delightful flush, though paler than the earlier versions. “How relaxed are you feeling?”
“Unless you've got some whiskey hidden on you, I'm probably as relaxed as I'm getting,” Kris said, his mouth quirking. Adam grinned back and him and then looked over at the other half of the couch, vaguely annoyed that the lube had ended up – of course – halfway into the cushions, but his arms were long enough for him to reach without dislodging Kris, so it all worked out.
“Put your arms around my neck and brace yourself,” Adam said and, once Kris was settled, he felt free to let Kris support himself for a while. Adam flipped the top open on the tube of lube, coated his fingers, and set the tube to the side for easy access. Once the lube was warm enough, he reached down, pressing his fingers lightly around Kris's hole, not trying to push in yet. Kris jerked away from him slightly and then settled down again, sighing a little. Adam gave Kris time to get used to just the feeling of fingers and then, carefully, with just the tip of his index finger, he breached the opening.
“Oh.” Kris didn't seem inclined to say any more than that, but when Adam asked if he was okay, Kris kissed him where his shoulder met his neck, warm tongue darting out to lick at Adam's skin. It felt pretty much like permission.
Adam pushed his finger in to the first knuckle, and... yeah, Kris was hot inside and so fucking tight Adam almost felt like he might lose his finger. He rubbed his other hand in circles on Kris's back, trying to get him to relax where it mattered most.
Slowly, he was able to sink his finger further in, and then he slid it in and out, setting up a rhythm that seemed almost to match Kris's breaths against his shoulder. He waited until Kris's hips started moving to echo him and then pulled out, adding more lube, and before Kris had time to do more than sigh in disappointment, he had two fingers pressing in, and Kris's breath was catching in his throat now.
“So, did your soul-searching lead you to any research?” Adam asked, twisting his fingers up and around and crooking them and – Kris gasped, his whole body jerking – right there, then. Adam made sure that he kept stroking against that spot as he opened Kris up.
It was Kris's first time, so after he got him used to two fingers, Adam introduced a third one, twisting and stretching his fingers up and around. At this point, Kris seemed like he'd gone beyond speech, but his breathing was quick and when Adam hit him just right, he would whimper and try to push down into Adam's touch. Adam pulled his fingers out and he felt Kris's fingers clutching even more tightly at his shoulders. He pushed Kris up so that he could get at himself and then he reached over and snagged the condom packet. He ripped open the packet and rolled the condom down his cock, liberally applying more lube.
He curved his hands around Kris's waist and lifted him up, whispered at Kris to hold himself in place, and then reached down to get his cock in position, biting his lip as his dick slid along Kris's slick skin – fuck, yes – and Kris tensed up just as Adam was getting near and then he let out a long breath and Adam could feel him relax, and the tip of his cock was nudging at Kris, and there was a moment of resistance and then the head popped through the ring of muscles and-
Adam let himself breathe.
Kris swayed a little and Adam wrapped his arm around Kris's back, holding him up. He bit down hard on his lip, all of his instincts telling him to snap his hips up and yank Kris down and be inside him already, but he had enough control to rein in his impulses and keep mostly still.
Adam closed his eyes and just... waited for Kris to relax around him. He could hear Kris panting and feel his shuddering breaths and Adam had always felt that sex was the closest that the universe actually came to a heaven and he really wanted – oh, please – he wanted Kris to agree.
Kris's fingers had been tight on Adam's shoulders and they loosened now, just a little. Adam let Kris slip down a little on his cock, so fucking slowly that it was like a personal torture invented just for him. Time ached as it inched by and Adam could feel the sweat dripping down his back. A little ways in, Kris let out a little hiccuping sob that made Adam freeze.
“Do you want me to-” Adam wasn't even sure he could finish that question because the only real possibility – pull out – was the exact opposite of what he wanted. Adam opened his eyes and... and Kris was looking at him and his mouth was swollen but he didn't look... he wasn't in pain. He was obviously feeling the strain, but he wasn't actually hurting.
Adam let Kris down a little more, watching avidly as Kris's mouth dropped open – his lower jaw zigging a little to the side, like when he was singing his big notes – and Adam could see his tongue pressing against his upper lip. Adam leaned forward and licked lightly at Kris's mouth, not wanting to put any pressure on it, but wanting to connect as more of him filled Kris up. Kris smiled at him, his eyes crinkling up at the corners, then as Adam kept going, Kris shivered, his hands clutching at Adam's skin.
He was so quiet and that wasn't something that Adam normally liked – he enjoyed it when guys talked, told him what they were liking, if he was doing something wrong – but there was something about the way Kris was just so... overwhelmed, like his words had run away. Oh, Adam hoped that this wasn't a groupie thing because he really – he really wanted to keep this one.
“How're you feeling, baby?” Adam asked and Kris's eyes focused on him again. “You like that?” And Kris's forehead creased up, like his brain was needing to work extra hard to concentrate on anything other than Adam's cock inside him.
“...'s good.” Kris's words slurred like he'd been drinking hard for hours. “Don't... don't stop.”
Adam took Kris at his word, easing him down steady and slow until they were pressed up tight together. Sometimes, Adam thought he loved this part even more than coming, this moment when he was finally all the way inside a guy – even wearing a condom didn't detract from it much – and Kris had pretty much a perfect ass and he was as hot and tight inside as any guy Adam had ever been with. Adam pressed a kiss against Kris's shoulder and ground his hips upward, reaching down to feel the stretch of Kris around his cock. He could feel Kris starting to harden against his stomach, and that loosened a knot of tension inside, getting that physical proof that Kris was enjoying this.
The rhythm that Adam set was slow, more rocking than thrusting, hips barely moving. He stroked his hand in circles on Kris's back, both to soothe Kris through his first time and just to touch him, and each lingering caress only made Adam more willing to draw this out as long as he could. He was thinking from Kris's reactions that this would be far from their only time, but some moments were meant to be savored.
Since Kris's vocalizations were pretty much limited to whimpers and gasps, Adam found himself filling the silence – he told Kris how beautiful he was, how good it felt to be inside him, whispered dirty words about what he and Kris could do in the future – all the way up until Kris cupped Adam's cheek and tilted his head down, finding his mouth and licking into it. The kiss was at the same tender, dreamy pace as the sex and Adam let himself get lost inside it.
Everything about being with Kris in this moment felt so peaceful that Adam was a bit startled to realize that he was on the edge of coming, only half a breath from tipping over. His fingers skidded over Kris's damp skin, and his eyes closed as he slipped into the most mellow orgasm he'd ever experienced, his muscles relaxing in one long exhale that left his body tingling with satisfaction.
He sucked on Kris's lower lip one last time and then pulled away, a soft smile curling up the corners of his mouth. Kris was still in a hazy state of arousal, blinking slowly and irregularly, the dilation of his pupils making his eyes sparkle where the light hit them. Adam didn't know what they were going to say to the crew, because Kris looked so thoroughly fucked that anyone who saw him now would immediately know what he'd been up to – he just had to hope that everyone's obvious affection for Kris would translate into keeping their mouths shut, because shattering Kris's wholesome image might be the one thing that could lose him the title.
Adam wrapped an arm around Kris's waist and hauled him off Adam's lap – Kris closed his eyes in a momentary wince when Adam's cock pulled free – and settled him down on the couch. Then he peeled the condom off himself, tying it off and stuffing it into the pocket of his pants where they lay on the ground – if it burst, well... worse things had happened to better pants. He turned his attention back to Kris, who was staring at him through half-closed eyes. He crawled up onto the couch again and ran his hands up Kris's legs, leaning over and licking a stripe up Kris's cock, which was still slightly bitter from the first time he'd come. He cleaned Kris off with his tongue, then just sucked him in, going all the way down.
He stayed there for a while, pressing his nose against Kris's stomach and humming low in the back of his throat. Kris's hand came up to rest on the back of his neck, not pushing but instead caressing lightly. He pressed his fingers into Kris's hips, getting him to angle himself just a little more upward. When he pulled off Kris, he did it slowly, tongue darting out all the way up and then swirling around the head. He grinned up at Kris and then bent to take Kris's balls in his mouth, sucking until Kris's hand tightened on his neck. He took Kris's cock in his mouth again and, this time, he didn't leave, though he sometimes shifted up just to suck on the head.
When he heard Kris's breath shift, he pulled back, resting Kris's cock on his tongue. When he glanced up, Kris's eyebrows were pulled together, his lips pursed as he tried to shift his hips and Adam refused to let him.
“Gonna...” Kris said, and he sounded almost like he wasn't getting enough air.
Adam couldn't say anything without releasing Kris's cock, but he tightened his grip and sucked harder, until Kris gasped out a shaky word – was that Adam's name? -- and his hips tried to buck against Adam's hands and the salty-bitter warmth of his come flooded Adam's mouth. Adam waited until Kris was done and then pulled off, keeping his mouth shut and not swallowing. Kris was utterly spent, his head flopped back on the arm of the couch and Adam leaned over him, placing a finger on Kris's chin and gently pulling until Kris's mouth fell open for him.
He pressed his lips against Kris's and then opened his mouth, and Kris jerked as Adam gave his come back to him, but then he swallowed, shuddering, and they kept kissing until the taste had faded from both their mouths.
Then Adam sat up, wiping at a trail of come that had escaped and licking it off his thumb. When he looked back over at Kris, he had to smile. Kris was touching his mouth, his eyebrows quirked up in puzzlement, and he was sprawled out along the length of the couch like a rag doll, one of his legs half-way off and swinging, his foot not quite touching the floor.
“Huh,” Kris said and his baffled look shifted to Adam. Adam shrugged and then he reached down to snag his pants, carefully pulling them back on. He could hear Kris moving behind him. “Oh, wow. This couch... this couch totally needs to be cleaned.” There was a slight note of horror in Kris's voice and Adam was wondering if the possible consequences were sinking in – not the moral ones or the ones about his marriage, but the very concrete and practical ones about having sex in a room provided by someone else.
“It's just lube,” Adam said, pulling on his shirt. “It could be worse.”
There was a moment of silence while he let Kris think about that. When he reached down for his boots and socks, he noticed Kris's chain and wedding ring and he picked those up first. He turned to Kris and held them out. Kris was sitting up now, touching his head like he was dizzy, and when he saw the chain dangling from Adam's hand, he shook his head.
“Just... just put them on the table,” he said.
The ring clanked when Adam dropped it, spinning for a moment before coming to a rest. It was actually really nice, the sort of big ring that was meant to be visible. “Why don't you wear it?” Adam asked, neatly coiling the chain next to it.
Kris chuckled and Adam waved a hand at him – they both knew what he meant.
“It didn't feel necessary after a while,” Kris said. “I wore it constantly for the first... six months or so, but my wife-” His voice cracked and Adam turned to him, resting his hand on Kris's bare knee, his thumb stroking gently. “-she knew she didn't have anything to worry about. I've never wanted any woman but her.” Their gazes met and Kris's mouth curled up into an ironic smile. “And by the time... when I realized that I was in danger of breaking my vows, it just felt like putting it back on would be... hypocritical.”
“I'm sorry,” Adam offered, but Kris shrugged, covering Adam's hand with his own.
“You didn't force me into anything,” he said, quietly but intensely. “I wanted this – I want this – and I'll deal with whatever comes along with it. If...” And Kris broke eye-contact, looking away and down. “I mean... if you want-”
“I do,” Adam interrupted, lifting Kris's hand to his mouth for a kiss. “Believe me, I do. Besides, we're astrologically compatible!”
Kris dissolved into giggles, his face completely crinkling up and even his body curling tightly in, like he was feeling the laughter with every inch of himself. “How do you even know that?” he asked, once he'd recovered enough to talk again.
Adam blushed, not quite wanting to admit that he'd looked up Kris's birthdate back when Kris had first made it through to the finals, before he'd even realized exactly how talented Kris was. “Just trust me,” he said.
“Yeah, okay,” Kris said, and he kissed Adam briefly, but the second he pulled away, Adam tugged him back, and the kiss stretched out and there were still so many things that could go wrong, but Adam had a good feeling about this. Kris was so warm and sweet in his arms and Adam could just picture them ten years from now, talking about music and how they'd been so worried, once upon a time, about Kris coming out to the media. They would have a house in Los Angeles and maybe one in the countryside somewhere – if the countryside still existed in ten years – and they would make music, together and separately. Kris's family would still love him and they would all get together – because he just knew that his own family would like Kris even better once they knew him in person and not just through his performances on Idol – and they would be right up there with Ellen and Portia as a couple to envy and adore.
And Adam kissed Kris more deeply, pressing Kris up against him, and he let himself believe.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-09 11:13 am (UTC)