Fic: White Rabbits (Star Wars, 41/?)
Apr. 12th, 2006 03:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyTitle: White Rabbits
Part: 41/?
Author: Diana Michelle (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
butterfly)
Warnings: Spoilers for all the SW movies.
Pairings: Anakin/Obi-Wan; Leia/Han.
Rating: R/NC-17
Summary: Anakin really wants to stop having conversations like this.
Disclaimer: Not Lucas, don't own a thing, not making any money.
Chapter Index
“It’s wonderful to see you, Master Anakin,” Threepio said, after Han and Luke headed off towards the cockpit and Leia and the Wookie strolled off down a different corridor. “I’ve been experiencing several odd sensations since you recovered my memory, but I didn’t want to bring it up in front of the others.”
“Too embarrassing?” Anakin asked, and he started to glance over Threepio’s external systems, wondering where the Wookie had come from. Then Anakin realized that he had to be the one that Threepio had said Artoo was ‘doing something complicated’ with, so long ago yesterday.
“I’m afraid so,” Threepio said. “Some things can only be trusted to the maker.”
“What kind of sensations are they?” Anakin asked, smiling a little as he reached down to his belt to pull an adjuster out from a pouch.
“Disorientation, as if the normal gravity of the planet is not sufficient to hold me steady,” Threepio said. “An odd sort of twisting sensation in my right leg. And… Master Anakin?”
“Yes, Threepio?” Anakin asked, kneeling down to tinker with the joint of Threepio’s leg.
“I miss Mistress Padmé,” he said, his normal brass tones as subdued as Anakin had ever heard them. “At least, I believe that I do. I keep expecting to see her and when I don’t, I feel as though something terribly important has been misplaced.”
“I miss her, too,” Anakin said softly, forcing himself to concentrate on fully integrating Threepio’s leg into the systems that Anakin had tweaked for him – it didn’t have any of the special adjustments that Anakin had made for the rest of the body, so it was no wonder that Threepio would feel off-balance now that his memory had returned. “It’s like a part of my heart is missing.”
“Why didn’t that useless astromech ever tell me?” Threepio asked plaintively. “All those years, he remembered.”
“He made the right decision,” Anakin said, looking up at Threepio and brushing a touch of oil off of his leg. “It must have been safer for you not to know. He’s smart, Threepio, and he wouldn’t have kept it from you without a good reason.”
“I suppose not,” Threepio said. “And it does explain some of the other things that he’s told me over the years, things that I thought were meaningless at the time.”
“Like what?” Anakin asked, standing up again and tucking the tool away in a pouch, where he heard it click against Obi-Wan’s lightsaber. That was another worry – Obi-Wan never forgot his lightsaber. Not being able to touch the Force had really thrown Obi-Wan off-balance and while Anakin couldn’t claim he disliked all of the effects of that, he didn’t like this one.
“He kept an incredibly close watch on Naboo,” Threepio said. “I couldn’t understand why, as Naboo was notable only as the birthplace of the Emperor, but now I do.”
“He kept track of Padmé’s family?” Anakin asked. Threepio nodded jerkily. “How- are her parents still alive?”
“Her mother is,” Threepio said. “And her sister’s children.”
“That’s… that’s wonderful news,” Anakin said. “I wonder why he never told Luke or Leia about that.”
“I have no idea, Master Anakin,” Threepio said. “I did tell them their mother’s family had survived, though I didn’t get a chance to tell them anything specific.”
“Just last night?” Anakin asked, but he didn’t need Threepio’s nod to confirm it. “I’d love to see Padmé’s mother again. She was nice.”
“I quite agree, sir,” Threepio said.
“That has to be part of Leia’s plan – reuniting us with Padmé’s family,” Anakin said, but he wasn’t sure why she thought it would work. They’d lost Padmé. Returning her to them would clearly be the right choice, if possible. Of course, Leia had been talking to Obi-Wan, but she had no reason to believe that Obi-Wan cared in the slightest about Padmé’s mother. Or even about Dex – they’d only mentioned that he’d shown an interest in ‘Skywalkers’.
What kind of game was that girl playing?
And he could sense her coming back now, without the Wookie.
“Does he have a name?” Anakin asked, just as she came around the corner.
“What?” she asked, looking faintly startled.
“Does your Wookie have a name?”
“Of course, he- oh, I see your point,” she said, coloring slightly. “That was Chewbacca.”
“That’s a Wyst Rayiyyni name,” Anakin said. The name itself sounded faintly familiar, and he was sure that he’d heard it in a lecture somewhere. Chewbacca looked old enough to have been established thirty years ago, so it might even be the same Wookie. “Was he born at the trading outpost?”
“I don’t know,” Leia said. “And… there isn’t a Wyst Rayinyyni anymore.”
Anakin stared at her for a moment, trying to decide if he wanted to ask.
He’d better not – there was probably some way she could blame it on him and he wasn’t looking for a fight. He’d just wait until he was alone with Threepio again and then find out. Threepio tended to know most things, though he wasn’t very good at figuring out what was important.
“Where is it that we’re going?” Anakin asked. “From what your boyfriend said, Dex isn’t in as visible a part of Coruscant as he used to be.”
“You’re really going to go along with this,” she said, instead of answering his perfectly reasonable question. The people in this future were even more annoyingly secretive than the Jedi Council.
“Obi-Wan said we would,” Anakin said. “It’s not like I can leave without him.”
“It’s hard for me to picture you following his lead,” she said. “I suppose that I still haven’t adjusted to thinking of you as on the same side.”
“Sometimes, he follows my lead,” Anakin said, ignoring the rest of what she’d said. “That’s what teamwork is. Look, if you just want to argue… I don’t. I don’t know any of the background that you’re arguing from. I can’t win with you. So just… stop.”
“I don’t- I don’t want to fight with you,” Leia said, glancing away from him. He could feel the conflict in her, a venomous anger twisting around itself. “But I’m not like Luke and I can’t just be happy about this.”
“His feelings aren’t as simple as that,” Anakin said, and her gaze flicked back towards him, eyes wide and surprised. “Can’t you feel it?”
“Only the most obvious emotions,” she said. “I never had any training as a Jedi. All of my training was political. My father wasn’t a religious man and he was careful to never speak of the Jedi where anyone could overhear him.”
“I thought I was your father,” Anakin said.
“It’s not as simple as that,” Leia said, but Anakin could feel her embarrassment. “I was speaking of my adoptive father.”
“Oh, that’s right, you mentioned an adoptive father the other day,” Anakin said and the words felt wrong in his mouth. If she was his daughter, then he should have been the one to raise her. “But I wasn’t dead.”
“No one knew that you were our father,” Leia said. “Not even you. Especially not you.”
“I would never hurt my own children,” Anakin said stiffly.
“You hurt Luke,” she said. “You’re the one who cut off his hand. And you did know that he was your son by then.”
“He must have provoked me,” Anakin said, miserably aware that it wasn’t a very good defense. This was exactly the kind of conversation that he’d wanted to avoid. Although it did bring up the question of why Luke didn’t seem to be holding any grudges.
“You killed General Kenobi,” she said. Anakin shook his head, but his denial died on his lips. She wasn’t lying, he could feel it. She hadn’t lied to him about anything.
He’d been the one who’d killed Obi-Wan. The knowledge should be killing him, but all he felt inside was the odd clicking in of a puzzle piece. He’d felt the strength of his own hate in the Jedi Temple, he’d heard the words that he’d left for Obi-Wan there, and Anakin could easily believe that the man who’d felt that much hate towards Obi-Wan could kill him. And the edge of regret that he’d felt coming from Obi-Wan’s ghost made an interesting amount of sense, now.
But all of his anxiety was wrapped up in the vision he’d had of his Obi-Wan dying, and he didn’t have any to waste on a matter already over and done with.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said to Leia. Anger shone in her eyes, but he turned away. “I know better now. I know about Palpatine and I know about the Republic falling. I'm not that man that you hate and I refuse to become him. I'll never be that monster of yours.”
“I hope you’re right,” she said, and her voice shook.
The ship shuddered slightly as it landed.
Anakin was hoping, too.
~end chapter forty-one~
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-12 01:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-14 12:31 pm (UTC)*tilts hand in a see-saw motion*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-12 06:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-14 12:31 pm (UTC)I'm really glad that the conversation between those two worked for you.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-12 06:55 pm (UTC)And the whole "your Wookie" thing? Loaded question much? Oh boy.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-14 12:35 pm (UTC)Yay! I love your Leia, she's so smart and resentful, but decent. And her conversations with Anakin are so fraught with history, and I can see how frustrating that must be for him, not knowing why she's mad...Does he know about Alderaan yet? I've got to re-read the rest of the story.
I love Leia, too. She's a good one.
I like that I can see both sides of the Anakin/Leia conversation. His willingness to blind himself is intensely frustrating to Leia, but her anger at him for things he hasn't done is frustrating to him.
He doesn't yet know about Alderaan -- he doesn't even know that Bail Organa was her adoptive father (though I'm not sure the actual identity of the person matters so much as it's 'not him'), as it just hasn't come up. And Anakin sucks at initiating actual personal conversation.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-13 08:26 am (UTC)You did well telling Anakin everything, especially that bit about Vader killing Obi-Wan. Now let's hope things will really change for the better...
Keep on writing, this story is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wonderful it is always a joy to find a new update!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-14 12:36 pm (UTC)And yes, I'm proud of Leia for being willing to say the hard truths. That's the kind of politician that should exist.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-13 07:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-14 12:36 pm (UTC)re: Fic: White Rabbits (Star Wars, 41/?)
Date: 2006-04-15 02:24 am (UTC)Anakin's convo with 3PO is disturbing, but makes sense. I always wondered wny R2 didn't tell him, and finally decided that 3PO wouldn't have believed him, anyhow.
The loss of the Wookie culture and what the Empire did to them is quite sad. :(
Leia's conversation with her bio-father is very upsetting for both of them, and thus, the reader as well. I'm so glad that Anakin said this:
"Look, if you just want to argue… I don’t. I don’t know any of the background that you’re arguing from. I can’t win with you. So just… stop.”
Daughter is too much like her father, and is too stubborn and too conflicted. I don't think that we've seen the last of any arguements between these two. *sad smile*
Hope is a very important concept in the SW verse, in fact in all our lives. Without hope, there would be no point in living.
Re: Fic: White Rabbits (Star Wars, 41/?)
Date: 2006-04-17 08:43 pm (UTC)Thank you. That is such a lovely thing for a writer to hear.
Anakin's convo with 3PO is disturbing, but makes sense. I always wondered wny R2 didn't tell him, and finally decided that 3PO wouldn't have believed him, anyhow.
Hee. I can just picturing him accusing R2 of speaking nonsense.
Daughter is too much like her father, and is too stubborn and too conflicted. I don't think that we've seen the last of any arguements between these two. *sad smile*
Oh, yes, that's definitely true. They are far too much alike.
Hope is a very important concept in the SW verse, in fact in all our lives. Without hope, there would be no point in living.
*nods* Hope is essential.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-07 01:50 am (UTC)This story is fantastic. Seriously. It's a rare thing indeed to find a time travel story that's... well, good, and yours is. The whole thing so far is just... excellent! I love how you've written all the characters, especially Leia. You seem to have really firm grasp of just what they're all about. Anakin's super-sexy one minute and quite creepy the next - it's fantastic! Don't even get me started on the awesomeness of your Artoo.
It's the plot itself has me hooked, though. It's original - a breath of fresh air in this fandom. I'm so curious about what's going to happen next... and about what's already happened, come to think of it. I have a slight theory about how they may have time-travelled... but I might keep it to myself, seeing as how it's probably way off. Anyway, keep up the great work!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-12 07:53 pm (UTC)I never mind getting feedback! Thank you.
This story is fantastic. Seriously. It's a rare thing indeed to find a time travel story that's... well, good, and yours is. The whole thing so far is just... excellent! I love how you've written all the characters, especially Leia. You seem to have really firm grasp of just what they're all about. Anakin's super-sexy one minute and quite creepy the next - it's fantastic! Don't even get me started on the awesomeness of your Artoo.
Thank you kindly. I really do love writing this story (I'm horribly blocked at the moment, but I do hope to finish it someday) and a large part of that is that I love writing the characters. It's the characters and relationships that interest me in the SW universe, especially the Skywalker family (Obi-Wan and the droids being honorary members), so I really wanted to have a chance to explore them.
It's the plot itself has me hooked, though. It's original - a breath of fresh air in this fandom. I'm so curious about what's going to happen next... and about what's already happened, come to think of it. I have a slight theory about how they may have time-travelled... but I might keep it to myself, seeing as how it's probably way off. Anyway, keep up the great work!
I do have the entirely of the 'how' and 'why' of the time-travel worked out, so if I ever get around to actually writing it, you'll have a chance to find out if you were right!
Thanks again for the feedback.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-05 01:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-16 07:20 am (UTC)Aw, yes, this is totally a chapter wherein Anakin shows off the parts of him that are kind and good. Sadly, those bits of him are really close to the parts that are too possessive and needy.
It is entirely in character for her considering how she behaves in both the EU and RotJ but it's still infuriating as all get out.
It is frustrating when people act against their own best interests, as Leia is definitely doing here.
At least Luke is trying to find ways to work with Anakin instead of automatically and deliberately positioning himself again him, even if he is being kind of . . . inappropriately possessive of "Ben" (every time he says "Ben" instead of "Obi-Wan," I find myself wincing) and therefore pissing Anakin off . . .
Hee, yes. Neither of the twins is really making friends and (positively) influencing people. But they've had a confusing couple of days.
Thank you for the feedback! And I do plan on writing more of the story.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-17 07:29 am (UTC)Those poor twins, they really are having an awful time of it, aren't they? I suppose I should be more understanding, considering the past few days they've had . . .
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-08 08:18 pm (UTC)Thank-you for the wonderful story. Can't wait for more.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-16 07:15 am (UTC)I do plan to finish the story one day (I know just how it ends, the problem is getting there from here -- I really should just start writing and be ready to trash anything that I need to, but I haven't been able to defeat the blinky cursor of blank space just yet).
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-02 12:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-06 04:40 pm (UTC)I'm generally not a fan of time travels and such, but you handle this so deftly that it just all makes sense. Each character is so fully developed that I never go "Oh, wah, it's not AO this chapter," but rather, "Oooh, I wonder what he/she/it knows/thinks/feels/will say!" I've read a lot of fics and most of the EU books, and honey, they've got nothing on you in terms of storytelling, character development, and emotion. The story just owns me, yanks me in and won't let go, and yet it isn't high-strung, over-the-top emo, either. It's just GOOD.
The Anakin you've created is so complex, and so much what I think the real one had to have been like, at least as seen by Obi-Wan. He barely has a hold on his crazy at times, and at others he's surprisingly young, demure, and almost innocent. Yes, he'd be fiercely protective of Obi-Wan, and yes, he'd be jealous of anyone being close to Obi-Wan, even his own son. It's wrong of him, and yet I can't help but love him for those flaws as well.
Obi-Wan is so wonderfully crafted as well, struggling with his adherence to the Code and his faith in the Force, when placed against his obvious love and attachment to Anakin. He's snarky, clever, implacable, and at the same time completely gone for Anakin, even knowing and hearing and seeing what the future holds for them both.
At the risk of sounding completely schmoopy, I think that some of the most beautiful and powerful lines I've ever read anywhere are in this fic. I died a thousand deaths when Anakin told Obi-Wan how he can't loosen the leash because the Force burns him. I melted when Obi-Wan described Anakin as being like thunder and lightning. And their love scenes are some of the most tender and sweet and solemn and revered that I've ever read--I really almost cried. You even managed to make Anakin taking off Obi-Wan's boots as this nearly-religious and yet sensual experience. The fact that Obi-Wan won't let Anakin say the words just makes my heart ache with love for them both.
Luke and Leia are also fantastic. I have to tell you, this is the first fic I've read, I think, where an adult Luke is actually done well. Even in the EU books, it seems like no one can agree on who Luke really is, what he's really like. But here, I get him. He's how I imagine him to be, and how he'd relate to his father, a younger Obi-Wan, his sister, and Han. I really applaud you for that! Leia is a fantastic read as well--you really did a great job defining her as different from Luke, Padme, and Anakin, and yet sharing a lot of their traits as well. I really like her, and don't find her to be harsh or shrill, as she's often written.
Oh, and freaking KUDOS to you for using the droids as windows to the past!! And two years before the Dark Nest books came out, lol!
I just wanted you to know that you have a huge fan out here now. I don't want to ask you the annoying question about when you might update, or to beg you to do so. (I cannot even talk--I have two WIPs that have been waiting on me for a year now. One I finally went back to, but it has one more chapter to go). I know how the muses come and go, but just know that this is a beloved story and I'll be so thrilled if the day comes that it is updated and/or completed.
Thank you so much for writing this. I'm adding it to my mems and will rec it left and right and upside down!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 10:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-18 12:05 am (UTC)Fabulous story!
Date: 2009-02-04 03:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-25 02:51 pm (UTC)Badly.