Nick/Howie slash
Dec. 30th, 2001 11:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyI know. It's all very exciting.
Perfect
This perfect life wouldn't last forever, Nick knew that much, so he was determined to make the most of every moment.
He treated every night, every moment that he had with Howie like it was the first time. Every time that they made love, and with Howie, that's what it was, every time he got to touch Howie, he worshipped him. He made sure to caress every inch of skin, made certain that he knew the taste of Howie better than he'd ever known anything before.
Because it couldn't stay a secret forever. And no one could be sure of what would happen then.
He'd lost count of the number of times that management had pulled him aside and told him to 'tone down' his affection with Howie. He always pleasantly agreed with them and then did what he wanted anyway. Now that he finally had Howie, nothing would keep him away. Kevin had talked to him about it once, asked him what he was expecting to happen.
Nick hadn't had an answer. He still didn't.
But he knew that this wasn't forever. He knew that eventually the bubble would burst and he and Howie would be thrown into the media circus.
As long as Howie was still there when it was over, Nick didn't care what happened.
It was a freeing feeling. Knowing that Howie would love him whether or not he was Backstreet's golden boy. That Howie loved him no matter how much he weighed. That in Howie's eyes, he never came up short in comparision to Justin Timberlake's beauty.
Before Howie, comparisions to Timberlake had always infruiated him.
With Howie, none of that mattered.
It was in front of Howie that he had relearned how to cry. It was in Howie's arms that he had learned how to love. It was the trust in Howie's eyes that gave him the strength to stand up for Aaron in front of his parents.
Before Howie, all of the fame and adulation was already feeling hollow. The performances started to pale, the friendships with the guys had started to fracture.
When he found Howie, he found himself again. And to his surprise, he found himself supporting Howie as much as Howie supported him. He stood beside Howie as he had told AJ that he needed help. He'd kissed away Howie's tears on the anniversary of his sister's death.
It was perfect. And seemingly as fragile as the flashbulb of a camera.
But Nick knew better.
Perfect
This perfect life wouldn't last forever, Nick knew that much, so he was determined to make the most of every moment.
He treated every night, every moment that he had with Howie like it was the first time. Every time that they made love, and with Howie, that's what it was, every time he got to touch Howie, he worshipped him. He made sure to caress every inch of skin, made certain that he knew the taste of Howie better than he'd ever known anything before.
Because it couldn't stay a secret forever. And no one could be sure of what would happen then.
He'd lost count of the number of times that management had pulled him aside and told him to 'tone down' his affection with Howie. He always pleasantly agreed with them and then did what he wanted anyway. Now that he finally had Howie, nothing would keep him away. Kevin had talked to him about it once, asked him what he was expecting to happen.
Nick hadn't had an answer. He still didn't.
But he knew that this wasn't forever. He knew that eventually the bubble would burst and he and Howie would be thrown into the media circus.
As long as Howie was still there when it was over, Nick didn't care what happened.
It was a freeing feeling. Knowing that Howie would love him whether or not he was Backstreet's golden boy. That Howie loved him no matter how much he weighed. That in Howie's eyes, he never came up short in comparision to Justin Timberlake's beauty.
Before Howie, comparisions to Timberlake had always infruiated him.
With Howie, none of that mattered.
It was in front of Howie that he had relearned how to cry. It was in Howie's arms that he had learned how to love. It was the trust in Howie's eyes that gave him the strength to stand up for Aaron in front of his parents.
Before Howie, all of the fame and adulation was already feeling hollow. The performances started to pale, the friendships with the guys had started to fracture.
When he found Howie, he found himself again. And to his surprise, he found himself supporting Howie as much as Howie supported him. He stood beside Howie as he had told AJ that he needed help. He'd kissed away Howie's tears on the anniversary of his sister's death.
It was perfect. And seemingly as fragile as the flashbulb of a camera.
But Nick knew better.