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butterflyFor some reason, Britney crawled into my head tonight.
Barbie
I didn't plan any of this.
I just caught up in it all. I'm not stupid. I may not be the smartest girl, but I'm not an idiot.
It was just fun at the beginning. And my mom wanted it so much. She's always telling me how proud she is that I'm a star now. She's proud of me. She's seen all the pictures. She knows what people think. And she's proud of me.
It would break her heart if I walked away from this life. And I can't break my momma's heart. She has everything that she's ever wanted. I've made all of her dreams come true.
She only sees the glittery surface, not the dirt underneath.
At least, I hope so.
If she knows...
If she knows how empty it all is and still wants it, then I don't know what I would do.
Nothing. I never do anything but what they tell me. That's why management loves me so much. I'm the perfect doll, pliable and easy.
Already broken, tamed to be a golden pet in a gilded cage.
I date who they tell me to, even if he doesn't love me, has never done more than politely kiss me. I've lip-synched so much that I can't even tell if I'm singing anymore. I exercise every free minute that I have, toning my body, ignoring my brain. I only know what they've told me.
I'm a good girl who plays at being bad. That's what I do.
And at night, I scream into my pillow and wish that I had something for myself. Every inch of my skin is known by a dozen impersonal trainers and dressers. Most of me is memorized by thousands of people. I'm a walking wet dream, that's what Wade told me the first time that I blew him.
And I am.
Pretty, perfect and empty.
Barbie
I didn't plan any of this.
I just caught up in it all. I'm not stupid. I may not be the smartest girl, but I'm not an idiot.
It was just fun at the beginning. And my mom wanted it so much. She's always telling me how proud she is that I'm a star now. She's proud of me. She's seen all the pictures. She knows what people think. And she's proud of me.
It would break her heart if I walked away from this life. And I can't break my momma's heart. She has everything that she's ever wanted. I've made all of her dreams come true.
She only sees the glittery surface, not the dirt underneath.
At least, I hope so.
If she knows...
If she knows how empty it all is and still wants it, then I don't know what I would do.
Nothing. I never do anything but what they tell me. That's why management loves me so much. I'm the perfect doll, pliable and easy.
Already broken, tamed to be a golden pet in a gilded cage.
I date who they tell me to, even if he doesn't love me, has never done more than politely kiss me. I've lip-synched so much that I can't even tell if I'm singing anymore. I exercise every free minute that I have, toning my body, ignoring my brain. I only know what they've told me.
I'm a good girl who plays at being bad. That's what I do.
And at night, I scream into my pillow and wish that I had something for myself. Every inch of my skin is known by a dozen impersonal trainers and dressers. Most of me is memorized by thousands of people. I'm a walking wet dream, that's what Wade told me the first time that I blew him.
And I am.
Pretty, perfect and empty.
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(no subject)
Date: 2002-01-17 09:28 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-01-17 09:32 pm (UTC)Also: *hugs* You aren't empty, baby.
Re:
Date: 2002-01-17 09:37 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-01-17 09:44 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-01-17 09:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-01-17 10:22 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-01-17 10:23 pm (UTC)