Make-up and other stereotypical girly things

[butterfly]

I'd like to thank asilvahalo for bringing this up in her journal and making me think about it.

I like to wear make-up sometimes. I like to wear nail polish sometimes. But I when I don't wear them it's not because I'm fucking lazy, it's because I didn't feel like wearing it.

My mom notices when I don't wear make-up and always tells me to put some on. "Look like you're making an effort."

Why isn't my face good enough? Yeah, I like wearing make-up sometimes, but I hate the assumption that I'm not good enough on my own.

My mom's also sorta pressuring me to lose weight.

Aside from one notable event in my freshman year of high school, no one outside of my family has ever insulted me because of my weight. They called me a bookworm on occasion, which I didn't mind because, well, I totally was.

My main problem has always been fear that I'm not good enough. Mom tells me that I am and then tells me that I'm not by telling me that I need to wear makeup and lose weight.

I'm sure that she has no clue that that's what she's doing. She just wants me to be pretty ie stereotypically good-looking. Bah.

When I wear makeup, it's mostly because I think that that it's kinda cute and funny. Which it is. Ditto with nail polish, which is still a bit of a mystery to me.

Comments

[callmesandy.livejournal.com]

Dude, I've met you. You're adorable. Not that you need me to say that, but yes.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

*blush*

Thank you.

[beckynicky.livejournal.com]

My mom likes to say that I look sick when I don't wear any make up. Blah. My face is fine as it is. My ass is fine as it is. If I want to decorate myself, that is fine, but I don't have to.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Yeah. She's all "You look too pale." or "You need some color in your lips." or "Some eyeshadow would really make your eyes stand out more."

*eye-roll*