Impossible
Feb. 8th, 2002 01:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyI'm not sure about the whole 'present tense' thing. I'd really appreciate someone telling me if it even works or if I got it wrong. Because? Tough.
Impossible
She stands there, hand on the edge of the doorway, mouth still open from when she stopped herself mid-word.
She stares at the play of moonlight on skin and wonders why they have the curtains open. They're asleep now, so she doesn't worry that she'll be caught. She had just wanted to see with her own eyes exactly what he was doing, who he was doing. And now that she has, she wishes that she could stand here forever.
It's beautiful.
It's sickening.
Because she wants it to be her. Or, failing that, at least another woman. Britney's never thought of herself as homophobic, but she wishes that it were another women. If it were, she would be able to believe that she could woo Justin away, convince him that she was the better bargain. But Lance, though he could be as pretty as any girl, has a dick and that seems to be what Justin wanted.
So she watches them and wishes that things could be different, that she could be the one that Justin casually had his leg swung over, that she could be the one with a faint smile on her face as she snuggled up next to him.
And it burns that it'll never be her, that even if Lance were out of the picture, it still wouldn't be her. Because she was born with tits and a clit instead of a dick.
But it's still beautiful and that hurts most of all.
Impossible
She stands there, hand on the edge of the doorway, mouth still open from when she stopped herself mid-word.
She stares at the play of moonlight on skin and wonders why they have the curtains open. They're asleep now, so she doesn't worry that she'll be caught. She had just wanted to see with her own eyes exactly what he was doing, who he was doing. And now that she has, she wishes that she could stand here forever.
It's beautiful.
It's sickening.
Because she wants it to be her. Or, failing that, at least another woman. Britney's never thought of herself as homophobic, but she wishes that it were another women. If it were, she would be able to believe that she could woo Justin away, convince him that she was the better bargain. But Lance, though he could be as pretty as any girl, has a dick and that seems to be what Justin wanted.
So she watches them and wishes that things could be different, that she could be the one that Justin casually had his leg swung over, that she could be the one with a faint smile on her face as she snuggled up next to him.
And it burns that it'll never be her, that even if Lance were out of the picture, it still wouldn't be her. Because she was born with tits and a clit instead of a dick.
But it's still beautiful and that hurts most of all.