Not Simple Enough
Feb. 19th, 2002 07:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyAn almost sequel(companion?) to Simplicity, Itself.
Not Simple Enough
He watches me whenever he thinks that no one's looking. I've learned to peek out of the corner of my eyes, to catch a glimpse without him noticing. He used to watch me that way all the time, before I knew what it meant. Now that I know, he hides it. Not too well, but enough to fool anyone who doesn't know him.
Joey's had The Talk with me, though. "If Lance ever says anything, don't you dare ever hurt his feelings." It was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes. Lance would never say anything and for the same reason that I'll never tell anyone that I like the way he looks at me. It just wouldn't be a good career move. Wouldn't be smart.
Besides I have Britney. And Britney's perfect. Well, the guys don't seem to agree with that all of the time, but Lance likes her. He says he likes her. What if he's lying to make it seem like he's not interested in me?
Fuck, I hate it when we have nothing to do. I always start to doubt myself and my choice. Britney is perfect and that's the end of it.
And yeah, she's not the one that I dream about, but that'll change eventually. I just need to spend more time with Lance. Like a vaccine. Or something. Fuck. I shouldn't spend more time with Lance. That won't help. See? Self-doubt, table for one.
It would be easier if Lance had stayed awkward and shy. That Lance had been cute, but in no way sexy. But no, he had to grow up into a fucking beautiful guy.
Who gave him the right to do that anyway?
Asshole.
Not Simple Enough
He watches me whenever he thinks that no one's looking. I've learned to peek out of the corner of my eyes, to catch a glimpse without him noticing. He used to watch me that way all the time, before I knew what it meant. Now that I know, he hides it. Not too well, but enough to fool anyone who doesn't know him.
Joey's had The Talk with me, though. "If Lance ever says anything, don't you dare ever hurt his feelings." It was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes. Lance would never say anything and for the same reason that I'll never tell anyone that I like the way he looks at me. It just wouldn't be a good career move. Wouldn't be smart.
Besides I have Britney. And Britney's perfect. Well, the guys don't seem to agree with that all of the time, but Lance likes her. He says he likes her. What if he's lying to make it seem like he's not interested in me?
Fuck, I hate it when we have nothing to do. I always start to doubt myself and my choice. Britney is perfect and that's the end of it.
And yeah, she's not the one that I dream about, but that'll change eventually. I just need to spend more time with Lance. Like a vaccine. Or something. Fuck. I shouldn't spend more time with Lance. That won't help. See? Self-doubt, table for one.
It would be easier if Lance had stayed awkward and shy. That Lance had been cute, but in no way sexy. But no, he had to grow up into a fucking beautiful guy.
Who gave him the right to do that anyway?
Asshole.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-19 08:29 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-02-19 08:32 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-02-19 08:44 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-02-19 08:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-19 08:46 pm (UTC)Wow, not making much sense. But I like!
Re:
Date: 2002-02-19 08:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-19 09:33 pm (UTC)Very heart-wrenching.
Brilliant, as usual.
Re:
Date: 2002-02-19 09:47 pm (UTC)Not that way.
Seriously though, thank you.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-19 10:30 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-02-19 11:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-21 03:13 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-02-21 03:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-21 08:01 pm (UTC)