This fandom is going to make my head explode, I swear.

[butterfly]

No one deserves to have any specific person fall in love with them. Love doesn't work that way. It isn't a prize or something you get if you're very, very good. No one is entitled to another person's affections. Sometimes unrequited love stays unrequited.

Also, people are not interchangable like snow-mobile parts (thank you, due South). Each person is a unique individual with their own distinct reactions and feelings. Treating different people differently does not cheapen previous relationships. Treating every relationship the same regardless of the people in the relationship does cheapen both the relationship and the people in it.

Oh, and if you're interested in reading my fanfiction/meta/etc from years previous, all you need to do is friend me and (as long as you aren't obviously an axe murderer) I'll friend you back (if you don't have a journal, it's relatively painless to get a free one -- and given the current environment on lj, I would recommend not giving them your money right now. They don't deserve it, the cowards.).

And if you've friended me previous to now and I haven't added you since I flocked my journal, feel free to comment and let me know. I haven't made it all the way through my flist to check for active journals yet.

Comments

[londonkds.livejournal.com]

WORD!

I assume that this is over some kind of row in Who fandom over who is Best Companion Ever, but that's what gives me hives about even some of the professedly feminist people who get het up over how badly Buffy treated Spike in BtVS, there seems to be some kind of assumption that he loves her so much that failing to return it makes her an unfeeling cow.

[parhelion-spark.livejournal.com]

I am one of the currently and tragically unfriended.
And while I suppose I am an axe murderer, I assure you I'm quite discerning in whom I heiniously butcher, and enjoy your writings far too much to prove any risk whatsoever to you.

Speaking of which, given life issues, this posts content was..oddly theraputic. I fervently agree with your sentiments regarding the cheapening via snow-mobile peoples, yet for reasons that likely make no rational sense, find it immensely reassuring to hear it from someone else right now.
Which I needed at the moment. So thanks! ^^;

[thawrecka]

God, that first paragraph sums up so much about why I'm not so enchanted to any number of female characters that fandom does actually like - the 'I'm entitled to your feelings' business squicks me when I see a character expressing such a thing.

And when I see real people thinking things work that way it really saddens me.

[monique-chan.livejournal.com]

I'm letting you know that I've friended you, and no I'm not psycho...

Stares in wonder at the current mess fandom and the internet in general has landed in... I can't even say I'm surprised after all fandom, fan-fiction, and music have been big areas of internet crack down...

On another note: Doctor Who! *giggles* I'm just now getting more into that fandom and am quite happy to find you already there... since I originally read your journal for Buffy, Angel and Harry Potter.

[scriggle.livejournal.com]

Me please. Thanks.

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

Hey--can you add me? Thanks!

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

Uh, yeah, I'd be someone who friended you a while back but haven't been friended in return since you flocked. *puppy dog eyes*

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

No one deserves to have any specific person fall in love with them. Love doesn't work that way. It isn't a prize or something you get if you're very, very good. No one is entitled to another person's affections. Sometimes unrequited love stays unrequited.

Also, people are not interchangable like snow-mobile parts (thank you, due South). Each person is a unique individual with their own distinct reactions and feelings. Treating different people differently does not cheapen previous relationships. Treating every relationship the same regardless of the people in the relationship does cheapen both the relationship and the people in it.

Never were more true (and *rational* for the love of God) words spoken.

[moojja.livejournal.com]

Hi butterfly would you mind adding me back as your friend? I'm enjoying your Doctor Who comments as much as I enjoyed your SG1 comments.

[midnightsjane.livejournal.com]

Hi! I friended you awhile back; I'm a Buffy and Doctor Who fan, and enjoy reading your thoughts on them.
I'm a nice, normal human being...no axes here..

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

You are completely right on both counts -- right now, it's Who fandom that's making me roll my eyes, but it was a common epidemic in BtVS fandom as well.

I can remember, as a B/X fan, how often I wanted other B/X fans to get off my side because they were saying things that I found extremely distasteful. And I know it happened a lot with B/S fans, too -- the idea that Buffy owed her affection to someone because they loved her so much and that not loving them back made her an evil bitch. It was creepy and wrong back then and it continues to be creepy and wrong now.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Hee! I'm glad that I could help. And you are now friended.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's been a bit of an epidemic recently -- okay, so I can only think of Cameron (House) and Martha (Doctor Who) off the top of my head, but I get the impression... Chloe on Smallville could be like that sometimes. Cally on BSG strikes me that way, sometimes, too, actually. And now more names are popping up. Sam on SG-1 did it on occasion, but she seemed to grow out of it later, which makes me happy.

Willow, on BtVS, but Joss was completely doing that on purpose and it was part of her character arc.

What names are you thinking of?

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Hello! You've been friended back. Welcome to the madness.

All lovely (and occasionally crazy) fandoms! I love them all. And, yeah, everything seems to be going a bit crazy right now.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Done! Nice to meet you.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

You've been added. Welcome to my flist!

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

And now you have been! Welcome! I hope you enjoy your stay.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I must say, running across the opposing argument in fandom is really starting to annoy me. It's just so incredibly limiting and destructive of human individuality, this idea that people can just be replaced. It's practically sociopathic, where other people don't exist as people at all, just toys to position and play with.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Not a problem! Good to have you back.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

No axes means an open invitation! It's good to have you. Welcome to my flist.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Yup. Probably why I have such a problem with AU!character replacement storylines, but let's not get into THAT. :D

I often wonder if people even realize that they're arguing this very thing. A lot probably has to do with not wanting The Wrong Person to be what she was. And if they could just maybe get another person in that slot, then everything about The Wrong Person could be negated. But it never gets to that next step of realizing that it basically turns one of the people into an idiot, not being able to distinguish from one person to the next if he's unable to have different kinds of relationships with different people.

[ealgylden.livejournal.com]

Hi for the first time in ages! I'm already on your flist so no worries there, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm still alive and reading, even though my own LJ is covered in dust and cobwebs and I barely ever comment anywhere anymore (it's a whole big thing and not very interesting). So my journal's active, still, just sort of... passively active. Heh.

[katesutton.livejournal.com]

YES. It's heartless, really, the frustration and anger towards a character because he can't fold up his emotions and put them away like yesterday's pair of pants. I just don't understand why fans want a character they love to be so...shallow? Faithless? I don't even know what to call it.

[thawrecka]

I do remember liking Willow and Chloe in spite of that. There's been a few times Hermione seemed that way, too.

[jeannie-82.livejournal.com]

I've had you friended for a while, but it would seem I wasn't friended back. I'd love to be friended. You're just too cool not to be friends with. :-)

[coneyislandbaby]

It's not always about replacing (and have you figured out yet that I'm a cynical old Who fan who's become fannish through New Who and can therefore see both sides of most discussions? :)) because it's always been that new companions aren't replacements for the old ones (and in fairness, that has been said about Martha), but on the other hand, no one mourns forever even if the person is lost to death, and it is healthy to move on. That said, I do think people are asking the Doctor to move on rather too quickly. It's only been what, a few weeks? Even though we've had months since Doomsday?

[aesvir.livejournal.com]

Whoa, I just had such a conversation about this with my roommate, about how one should look for compatability, not some ideal Mr. Right--and that you can't just sit at home waiting for Prince Charming to fall out of a tree.

Friending you because I adored your Star Wars fic for years and because I love your fannish reaction posts. :)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Yup. Probably why I have such a problem with AU!character replacement storylines, but let's not get into THAT. :D

Indeed! The only reason that Jackie/Alt!Pete works for me is because they aren't the same and, in fact, I think that they'll be better for each other with these versions of each other, this time around.

I often wonder if people even realize that they're arguing this very thing. A lot probably has to do with not wanting The Wrong Person to be what she was. And if they could just maybe get another person in that slot, then everything about The Wrong Person could be negated. But it never gets to that next step of realizing that it basically turns one of the people into an idiot, not being able to distinguish from one person to the next if he's unable to have different kinds of relationships with different people.

Yeah. It doesn't seem like people realize what they're doing to the character that they claim to like. I've skimmed some Martha/Ten fics and... the Doctor just comes across as intensely shallow in all of them. And it just seems like either they see him that way or that's the only way they can take away his love for Rose, by turning him into an intergalatic playboy.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

It baffles me, it really does. And it does seem to be a case of him caring for the 'wrong' person, because (at least the big talkers) always seem to have someone 'better' in mind.

And because he firmly doesn't care about that sort of thing, they'd rather have him be shallow and flit from person to person than to have him care for someone that they think is beneath him.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Indeed. We've had longer than we've gotten to see the Doctor have.

No one mourns forever but, on the other hand, you've also got the story of Jackie and Pete. She slept with other men after her Pete had died, but could still honestly tell Alt!Pete that there'd never been anyone else for her. Sometimes, it happens that you don't get over the love of your life. And that's okay, too.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Good to know! I'll make sure not to remove you when I go through the possibly-dead journals. Thanks.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I've got you friended back. And thank you -- that's very sweet.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Indeed! And that's what I really do search out in the pairings that I enjoy best -- people who fit together and are stronger as a team than they were apart.

And thank you! It's nice to meet you. Welcome to the flist.

[nostariel]

Holy crap, did you just make a due South reference whilst also subtly referring to crazy Doctor Who fandom? Dude, I don't think I've ever been here before, but I'd friend you for that combo ALONE.

And just...WORD. To your whole post. What is up with the idea that people can be switched around like LEGOs? That's just disturbing.

[lokapala.livejournal.com]

Um. I'm one of those unfortunates who got locked out and cannot reach your tasty meta. Friend, please? I don't even own an axe, just a hunting knife.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Holy crap, did you just make a due South reference whilst also subtly referring to crazy Doctor Who fandom? Dude, I don't think I've ever been here before, but I'd friend you for that combo ALONE.

Ha, thanks. I adore due South -- Benton Fraser is totally my personal moral touchstone.

And just...WORD. To your whole post. What is up with the idea that people can be switched around like LEGOs? That's just disturbing.

It really, really is. It's a state of mind that I have a hard time really understanding, because people are so unique and worthy of being treated as such. Lumping them all into the same pile just seems so restricting, to me.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Hee! Done. You are now friended.

Late!

[brennart.livejournal.com]

Somehow I missed this post. Since I could still see your Dr. Who posts, I never noticed anything was different. I friended you a while back to catch Star Wars updates, actually. I know you've moved on, but I really like your White Rabbits story. It's a long thoughtful AU of what-ifs. You place the characters in incredibly different circumstances, and still make their reactions seem true to themselves.

In fact, I was wanting to reread parts when I realized all the posts were gone. I don't post in my journal often, but I am still here. *waves*

Friend please? Thanks!

Re: Late!

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

And you've been friended! Thank you -- I'm really glad that you like White Rabbits. It... probably won't get updated again. I suspect. But I'm thrilled that you like what's there.