Xander thoughts
Jul. 1st, 2002 03:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyThere are a few points in the series where Xander is truly chilling. Where you can see under his facade of doofishness into the pain and anger that he's managed to suppress. Where Xander, not Hyena!Xander or Vamp!Xander, but 'just' Xander, is scary.
Rewatching Season Two brings some of that to mind.
When She Was Bad:
"If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you."
Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered:
His talk with Amy. He's intense. Really fucking intense.
"You and me, Amy we're going to do a little spell."
Becoming: Part One:
When Willow and Buffy bring the spell to show everyone.
"So he killed her before she could tell anyone about it."
Just a cold statement of fact.
"What a prince, huh?"
And this is where the attack starts. He says this directly at Buffy before he looks away, listening to everyone else talk about restoring Angel's soul.
Then gets up, sarcastic but still deadly cold.
"Hi, for those of you who have just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person. So, this spell might restore Angel's humanity? Here's an interesting angle: Who cares?"
His voice raises on the last two words. I don't think that I can really find the words to capture the look on Buffy's face as she says, "I care."
And he's calm again. On the outside.
"Is that right?"
Drawn-out, almost soft if it weren't for the malice in it.
Giles injects, tells Xander not to lose perspective.
He looks at Giles.
"I'm perspective guy. Angel's a killer."
Still soft, calm, definite.
Willow: "Xander." A protest. 'You're hurting Buffy with those words.'
Buffy: "It's not that simple."
At this moment, Xander is standing alone, against the people that he cares for and respects the most. And his voice starts to raise again.
"What? All is forgiven? I can't believe you people."
'you people' is perhaps one of the most distancing phrases in the English language. At this point, I imagine Xander felt entirely alone.
Cordy stands up with Xander and it takes a second for that to register with him: that someone could be on his side.
"I'm going to get back to the point, which is that Angel needs to die."
Giles is looking away and Willow is looking at him with hurt and a touch of betrayal.
Giles mentions that curing Angel seems to have been Jenny's last wish.
"Yeah, well, Jenny's dead."
Giles yells at him, Xander yelling back, "Did you hear what I'm saying?"
Buffy interves. Stops the verbal fight.
And now all three of them look at him with betrayal.
Willow asks Buffy what she wants.
Buffy: "What happened to Angel wasn't his fault."
Xander: "But what happened to Miss Calendar was. You can paint this any way you want, but the way I see it you want to forget all about Miss Calendar's murder so you can get your boyfriend back."
The most chilling thing about these moments is how serious Xander is. And how brutally honest. But it's an honesty calculated to hurt. It's an honesty that he learned from his father, as we see in Hell's Bells. You can see the waves of pain and disgust from all sides. Moments like this right here make me wonder if it will even matter to Xander that Spike has a soul.
Moments that show that he is definitely not all that he seems. Moments that show, before we were told, that his family must suck. It's no coincidence that Xander's family life was fanon before it became canon. It's all there in his character.
Rewatching Season Two brings some of that to mind.
When She Was Bad:
"If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you."
Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered:
His talk with Amy. He's intense. Really fucking intense.
"You and me, Amy we're going to do a little spell."
Becoming: Part One:
When Willow and Buffy bring the spell to show everyone.
"So he killed her before she could tell anyone about it."
Just a cold statement of fact.
"What a prince, huh?"
And this is where the attack starts. He says this directly at Buffy before he looks away, listening to everyone else talk about restoring Angel's soul.
Then gets up, sarcastic but still deadly cold.
"Hi, for those of you who have just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person. So, this spell might restore Angel's humanity? Here's an interesting angle: Who cares?"
His voice raises on the last two words. I don't think that I can really find the words to capture the look on Buffy's face as she says, "I care."
And he's calm again. On the outside.
"Is that right?"
Drawn-out, almost soft if it weren't for the malice in it.
Giles injects, tells Xander not to lose perspective.
He looks at Giles.
"I'm perspective guy. Angel's a killer."
Still soft, calm, definite.
Willow: "Xander." A protest. 'You're hurting Buffy with those words.'
Buffy: "It's not that simple."
At this moment, Xander is standing alone, against the people that he cares for and respects the most. And his voice starts to raise again.
"What? All is forgiven? I can't believe you people."
'you people' is perhaps one of the most distancing phrases in the English language. At this point, I imagine Xander felt entirely alone.
Cordy stands up with Xander and it takes a second for that to register with him: that someone could be on his side.
"I'm going to get back to the point, which is that Angel needs to die."
Giles is looking away and Willow is looking at him with hurt and a touch of betrayal.
Giles mentions that curing Angel seems to have been Jenny's last wish.
"Yeah, well, Jenny's dead."
Giles yells at him, Xander yelling back, "Did you hear what I'm saying?"
Buffy interves. Stops the verbal fight.
And now all three of them look at him with betrayal.
Willow asks Buffy what she wants.
Buffy: "What happened to Angel wasn't his fault."
Xander: "But what happened to Miss Calendar was. You can paint this any way you want, but the way I see it you want to forget all about Miss Calendar's murder so you can get your boyfriend back."
The most chilling thing about these moments is how serious Xander is. And how brutally honest. But it's an honesty calculated to hurt. It's an honesty that he learned from his father, as we see in Hell's Bells. You can see the waves of pain and disgust from all sides. Moments like this right here make me wonder if it will even matter to Xander that Spike has a soul.
Moments that show that he is definitely not all that he seems. Moments that show, before we were told, that his family must suck. It's no coincidence that Xander's family life was fanon before it became canon. It's all there in his character.
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Date: 2002-07-01 07:03 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-07-01 02:27 pm (UTC)