Remember that guy?

[butterfly]

Okay, this is the situation:

I am a huge wimp. I do not know how to say, "You're nice but honestly, we have nothing in common. Please stop with the incessant calling." At least, not in a nice way.

I mean. At least once a day. And I've returned one of his calls. One! One single solitary call! Yet he keeps calling!

Mom and Kris think that I need to just tell him flat-out. But... I just don't have the words.

Comments

[jic]

Well, as long as you're going to be nice -- it will take some time to think of something. If you put niceness aside, you get stuff like this:

Friend: I think I'm falling in love with you.
JIC: Call me when you get over it.

JIC: Are you planning to stay another night?
G: I don't know. It's up to you I guess.
JIC: Go home.

Actually, I think the way you put it is pretty clear and not hurtful. I mean, yeah, you're asking him to stop, but you aren't attacking him or calling him names or labeling his behaviour or anything. He may be calling every day because he's a bored-as-watching-grass-grow no-job no-car loser. It's not your job to entertain him.

You could, if you really want to, change it to a more clear "I" statement: "I need to not be getting a phone call every day." Also, you can come see me and just not be there when the phone rings. :) But really, that would be the wimpy way out. It takes strength to be honest, clear, and firm. It hurts because you may feel you are hurting him with the honesty, but it's still not being mean as long as you aren't cruel in how you ask him to stop. You had an excellent line. The words are good. Just make it come out your mouth.

Or, you know, not. Your call.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the advice. I didn't actually take it, but thank you.

I did talk to him, but... he's nice, just so very not my type. Eh, now that he's not calling all the time, I like him more.

Re:

[jic]

Wow. There was advice in that ramble?

So what did you say?

This is way old, but...

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Ah, your advice was, as I dimly recall, to do the whole 'telling the truth' thing. Which I may do, now that the holidays are out of the way.