More on the Angel finale 'Home'

[butterfly]

I love that, in retrospect, they set up the ending and I never saw it coming. And I never heard anyone even mention it as a possibility.

"Love is sacrifice."

Jasmine's whole arc was about taking away people's darkness to let them have uncomplicated happiness. Angel rejects it for himself, but gives it to his son.

And I don't see this as giving up on Connor.

Connor was the one who gave up. On life, on love, on everything but death. Death was Connor's only truth.

Connor was screwed around, manipulated, and lied to. One part that rang very true was him throwing Angelus' words about Darla in Angel's face. I bet that Angel remember that he's the one who told Connor that about Darla. That that's been eating at Connor all this time.

As far as he can tell, no one has ever told him the truth. And in the true logic of the child, he resented Angel for not protecting him. Not saving him. Angel's fighting the good fight? Making a difference? Why didn't he fight harder for me? Why didn't he save me? All he can see is that nothing is for him. He doesn't get Jasmine's peace. Cordy's 'love' was a lie so that they could create Jasmine. Vengence was more important to Holtz than Connor was.

And he sees a man about to kill himself. And he's almost gentle with him... until he finds out that the man forgot his family. Love must be a lie if it can be so easily forgotten.

I totally believed Connor's break-down after that.

Good and Evil are lies, Cordy told him that. Angel was 'evil' then 'good' then 'evil'... when does it end? He was the son of vampires, so wouldn't that make him evil? Holtz lied, Angel lied. Gunn and Fred lied. Cordy lied. Wesley... well, if he knows anything about Wesley's involvement, it would lead to hate.

What did Connor have? No friends. He'd grown up in a hell dimension and the first 'normal' people that he met in L.A. were some dealers and a junkie.

Family? Seventeenish years with a man who tied him to trees at age 6ish. A year or so with a father who kept beating him up and throwing him out. Tough love. It's all Connor's ever known.

And it all came to a head tonight. Anguished and hopeless, Connor was ready to kill or die, just to make it all stop. To make the lies stop. To stop having people say they love him while they use him.

Angel made a choice to change all that. Maybe that means that he killed 'Connor'. But I'm not sure if Connor was alive. He was still moving and fighting, but he felt dead. One of the most heart-breaking lines was: "I guess I am your son, because I'm dead, too."

Connor could never have a normal life with Angel. And Angel finally realized that. He could never give Connor a happy and normal childhood. When you fight evil on the level that Angel does, a baby is... not practical. He had several evil groups after him before he was born. He was targeted as Angel's weak spot and exploited. And the person who got screwed over the most in the deal was Connor.

Connor is the one who got twisted and hurt and lied to.

Is the end of Home a lie? Yes, but it's not a lie meant to force Connor. That family loves him for the same reason that Buffy loves Dawn. Their love isn't a cover for a plan on how to use him.

Angel saw that there was nothing he could do to help Connor. That Connor was over the edge. So he gave him the only thing he could.

He sold his soul to give his son the happy childhood that Connor hadn't had before. He sold out, not for perks, not for Buffy or Cordy, not even to find his son. He sold out because he believed it was the only way, short of death, that Connor could have peace.

Maybe it was the wrong decision. But it was made for the right reason.

If they bring back Angel, I really want Connor back (partly because I can't belief that he'd be able to stop checking in on his son). But if they don't get renewed, or they do and choose to leave him where he is, I'm happy with the ending he got. And I really want to rewatch the season to catch all the parallels and hints (he toasts his 'family' in both Angel's dream in Deep Down and in the finale, for example).

And with this, Angel is officially better than the best of Buffy for me. And that's a hell of a thing for me to think.

And, most thrillingly, this finale can totally work with my Angel fic. I plan on making a couple Angel-related changes, but otherwise, it's perfect. I was afraid that they might make Angel human, but luckily, no. He can be broody and immortal still. Yay!

Comments

[scrollgirl.livejournal.com]

Loved reading your review, you have some very interesting points.

And with this, Angel is officially better than the best of Buffy for me. And that's a hell of a thing for me to think.

I kinda knew this last year, but this year has really hammered it home for me. Angel blown me away week after week, while Buffy just has me cringing at the villains and most of the plot-lines.

And good news, Angel has been renewed! Yay!

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

That was good news. I was all, "Wheeeeeeeeeee! Angel!"