Reasons Why
Jul. 4th, 2003 12:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyI just thought I'd talk a bit about why I love some of the characters that I do.
Buffy Summers
Buffy is... I don't want to get all sappy and say that she's my hero, so I'll be slightly less sappy and say that she's a source of inspiration. She makes me think about women and the issues that we still have - and she does that just by being Buffy, all wonderful and horrible and human and woman. I adore that after all the pain she went through, she came out a stronger person on the other side. I loved seeing a strong and amazing female character go through depression, because it made it easier for me in the same situation. Buffy showed me how to be strong. And she reminds me that no matter how dark the day, the dawn always comes.
Interestingly, I was very much Xander when it came to Buffy - for a long time, I just hero-worshipped her. There's a post, that I wrote when First Date aired, which is when Buffy came off that pedestal for me - much later than it happened for Xander. And then Buffy wasn't just a hero, but was a person who could disappoint and still be an amazing person. So, I'm very glad that First Date happened, in retrospect. Because Buffy makes a better example as a feminist woman when she isn't just a hero.
At the time, I was so disappointed. I can remember it. Because I thought better of her. She didn't live up to my expectations. Well, then she's like most of the world. And that doesn't stop me from caring about the world.
Buffy is, despite her powers... because of her powers, she is Everywoman. She is, to quote Riley, a hell of a woman.
Alexander Harris
I fell for Xander Harris the moment that I saw him. It was the first summer of Buffy, and I caught of a rerun of The Pack. He was funny and sweet, and then the actor made him a hell of a bad guy.
Xander's been fully human for me from the beginning - probably because in my first episode, we get to see him all evil and possessed, and at the end, he does lie about remembering.
So, I don't hero-worship him. I love him. I think that he's an amazing guy, but I also have always known that he has flaws. And his weaknesses are directly related to his strength - his heart.
It's always been obvious that Xander is a guy driven by passion. Love, anger, lust, and the like. He doesn't always do the right thing. He doesn't always say the nice thing. He isn't always right. But he tries. He tries and tries. He's the only member of the group that has always been mortal. He's never gotten to play the superpowers gig. Even Riley was all souped up when we met him. Even Giles was filled with the magic of an entire Coven.
When Xander saves the day, it's because of his persistence and his love. And that's something worth admiring.
Angel
A new love, but a passionate one. He's endlessly fascinating, now that I'm interested. His shifts between the soul and the demon are much more marked than Spike's, whose dramatic change after vamping was all for his lady-love.
He sucked at being a father. He loved so much and had no clue what to do with it - so he ended up driving his son away, much like, I understand, his father did to him.
The father/son relationship is what made Angel real to me, what made him more than the annoying dark avenger. Because, for the first time, I saw just how much it sucked to be Angel. And I felt it. I felt his pain over Connor, probably because I was feeling a form of it, having totally fallen for Connor myself.
He wanted to give his son everything.
And that made me understand him better. His approach with Buffy and why he left. Why Angel is who he is. And once I start to understand someone, I've opened a door to my heart that is hard to close.
Most of time, I don't try to.
Connor
Poor sweetheart.
Connor was easy for me to understand - he was the compressed and intensified version of any teenager. All that anger and frustration, I remembered feeling that toward my parents. They didn't understand. They didn't love me. Because I wasn't lovable.
Of course, I directed my anger inward, cutting and the like, while Connor directed his outward. But I understood the anger and the... feeling that the world makes no sense. That's if it's so harsh and horrible, why does anyone bother? Even the Jasmine period was perfect, because I had moments like that, too, when all the world made sense and was beautiful. When they understood.
And it always came crashing back down.
He wanted so much to be loved. And he felt like no one could love him.
Of course, what makes it so horrible and yet reassuring is that, in the midst of his agony, he was loved. Even though he couldn't see it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
He's just a such a complex character. He's like so many of us, muddling about and making the wrong decision. Regretting it and not knowing if it's possible to ever make it up.
He makes choices that he believes are for the 'greater good'. He tries, and sometimes, he screws up so badly that he falters and you aren't sure whether or not he'll recover. When he does, it feels earned.
It's the trying that gets to me. When I see a character try their hardest, I feel for them.
Harry Potter
Who is, in many ways, a milder version of Connor.
And while Connor was a misguided weapon, Harry actually is aimed at someone who appears to be pretty much evil.
But they're very similar characters. Both intended as children to be weapons and raised with that in mind (because being raised by the Dursley's has made Harry a much harder person).
Both of them trying to figure out who they are. Both of them starting out with a view of life that is extremely black and white.
But Harry has many things that Connor doesn't - including absolute knowledge of his parents' love and a support system that isn't evil and lying to him. Still, I love Harry for many of the same reasons that I love Connor.
Draco Malfoy
Doesn't really look like he fits here. His character has been less than fleshed out and most of that little is pretty much on the side of nasty. Really, he's only interesting in fandom, right?
But I liked Draco Malfoy before I knew that he was a popular character in fandom. And I liked him for the same reasons that I like Wesley and Xander - he has passion and he tries. And he screws up.
I mean, I'm not sure why we're supposed to ever think that Draco/Harry is a fair fight. Does Draco ever win? Ever? And I tend to try to support the underdog (the difference between Draco and Spike is that I was aware of Spike's popularity in fandom before I ever saw him treated as an underdog by the show). He wants so much to win, to matter to Harry.
Harry affects him far more than he affects Harry. And so I feel for him.
Buffy Summers
Buffy is... I don't want to get all sappy and say that she's my hero, so I'll be slightly less sappy and say that she's a source of inspiration. She makes me think about women and the issues that we still have - and she does that just by being Buffy, all wonderful and horrible and human and woman. I adore that after all the pain she went through, she came out a stronger person on the other side. I loved seeing a strong and amazing female character go through depression, because it made it easier for me in the same situation. Buffy showed me how to be strong. And she reminds me that no matter how dark the day, the dawn always comes.
Interestingly, I was very much Xander when it came to Buffy - for a long time, I just hero-worshipped her. There's a post, that I wrote when First Date aired, which is when Buffy came off that pedestal for me - much later than it happened for Xander. And then Buffy wasn't just a hero, but was a person who could disappoint and still be an amazing person. So, I'm very glad that First Date happened, in retrospect. Because Buffy makes a better example as a feminist woman when she isn't just a hero.
At the time, I was so disappointed. I can remember it. Because I thought better of her. She didn't live up to my expectations. Well, then she's like most of the world. And that doesn't stop me from caring about the world.
Buffy is, despite her powers... because of her powers, she is Everywoman. She is, to quote Riley, a hell of a woman.
Alexander Harris
I fell for Xander Harris the moment that I saw him. It was the first summer of Buffy, and I caught of a rerun of The Pack. He was funny and sweet, and then the actor made him a hell of a bad guy.
Xander's been fully human for me from the beginning - probably because in my first episode, we get to see him all evil and possessed, and at the end, he does lie about remembering.
So, I don't hero-worship him. I love him. I think that he's an amazing guy, but I also have always known that he has flaws. And his weaknesses are directly related to his strength - his heart.
It's always been obvious that Xander is a guy driven by passion. Love, anger, lust, and the like. He doesn't always do the right thing. He doesn't always say the nice thing. He isn't always right. But he tries. He tries and tries. He's the only member of the group that has always been mortal. He's never gotten to play the superpowers gig. Even Riley was all souped up when we met him. Even Giles was filled with the magic of an entire Coven.
When Xander saves the day, it's because of his persistence and his love. And that's something worth admiring.
Angel
A new love, but a passionate one. He's endlessly fascinating, now that I'm interested. His shifts between the soul and the demon are much more marked than Spike's, whose dramatic change after vamping was all for his lady-love.
He sucked at being a father. He loved so much and had no clue what to do with it - so he ended up driving his son away, much like, I understand, his father did to him.
The father/son relationship is what made Angel real to me, what made him more than the annoying dark avenger. Because, for the first time, I saw just how much it sucked to be Angel. And I felt it. I felt his pain over Connor, probably because I was feeling a form of it, having totally fallen for Connor myself.
He wanted to give his son everything.
And that made me understand him better. His approach with Buffy and why he left. Why Angel is who he is. And once I start to understand someone, I've opened a door to my heart that is hard to close.
Most of time, I don't try to.
Connor
Poor sweetheart.
Connor was easy for me to understand - he was the compressed and intensified version of any teenager. All that anger and frustration, I remembered feeling that toward my parents. They didn't understand. They didn't love me. Because I wasn't lovable.
Of course, I directed my anger inward, cutting and the like, while Connor directed his outward. But I understood the anger and the... feeling that the world makes no sense. That's if it's so harsh and horrible, why does anyone bother? Even the Jasmine period was perfect, because I had moments like that, too, when all the world made sense and was beautiful. When they understood.
And it always came crashing back down.
He wanted so much to be loved. And he felt like no one could love him.
Of course, what makes it so horrible and yet reassuring is that, in the midst of his agony, he was loved. Even though he couldn't see it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
He's just a such a complex character. He's like so many of us, muddling about and making the wrong decision. Regretting it and not knowing if it's possible to ever make it up.
He makes choices that he believes are for the 'greater good'. He tries, and sometimes, he screws up so badly that he falters and you aren't sure whether or not he'll recover. When he does, it feels earned.
It's the trying that gets to me. When I see a character try their hardest, I feel for them.
Harry Potter
Who is, in many ways, a milder version of Connor.
And while Connor was a misguided weapon, Harry actually is aimed at someone who appears to be pretty much evil.
But they're very similar characters. Both intended as children to be weapons and raised with that in mind (because being raised by the Dursley's has made Harry a much harder person).
Both of them trying to figure out who they are. Both of them starting out with a view of life that is extremely black and white.
But Harry has many things that Connor doesn't - including absolute knowledge of his parents' love and a support system that isn't evil and lying to him. Still, I love Harry for many of the same reasons that I love Connor.
Draco Malfoy
Doesn't really look like he fits here. His character has been less than fleshed out and most of that little is pretty much on the side of nasty. Really, he's only interesting in fandom, right?
But I liked Draco Malfoy before I knew that he was a popular character in fandom. And I liked him for the same reasons that I like Wesley and Xander - he has passion and he tries. And he screws up.
I mean, I'm not sure why we're supposed to ever think that Draco/Harry is a fair fight. Does Draco ever win? Ever? And I tend to try to support the underdog (the difference between Draco and Spike is that I was aware of Spike's popularity in fandom before I ever saw him treated as an underdog by the show). He wants so much to win, to matter to Harry.
Harry affects him far more than he affects Harry. And so I feel for him.