You found me broken. It's hard for you.

[butterfly]

Joss reuses themes. I don't actually see anything wrong with that, because he approaches it differently each time.

So, I've been thinking about love.

About love that's scary and as part of someone as their own blood. Because it is their blood.

I've been thinking about three pivotal family relationships - Angel and Connor; Buffy and Dawn; Simon and River.

For all of Joss' talk about the importance of created families, he has a self-sacrifice in the blood families that you don't generally see elsewhere. Those relationships are double whammies - created and blood. Physical and emotional. Chosen and Choosing.

Simon gives up everything for his sister. His entire world is nothing when weighed against his sister.

For Buffy, in The Gift, the entire world is nothing when weighed against her sister. She can't live in a world where the choice is between the world and the one you love. Buffy sacrifices herself to save her sister.

Angel sacrifices his son to save his son. He'll sacrifice his son knowing him, knowing who he is, for his son's happiness.

Simon gives up his way of living, Buffy gives up her life, Angel gives up his miracle. To keep them safe. There are some phrases that you can shift from relationship to relationship and still have them makes sense.

"She's just a kid. She just wants to be... a kid."

"Then the last thing she'll see is me protecting her."

"I want to give you everything. I want to take back the mistakes, help you start over."

What they want more than anything is for this person to be happy. To be healthy. To be sane. Each of them goes about securing that in different ways, but the drive is the same. They all need to protect this person that they feel responsible for. The person that they love down to blood and bone. These relationships are very much about self sacrifice.

Comments

I love these relationships.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

I so wanted to see more of Simon and River--he was so noble, and she was so shattered, and all they really had was each other. I loved the way he sacrificed everything for her. She knew, too. She knew exactly what he'd given up to save her. You could see how proud she was of his medical skill in "Ariel," which I really think is the definitive Simon-River episode. I think she felt very deeply guilty about how much he had to give up for her--but he'd have done it all over again a thousand times over. *Sigh* You know, Simon really could've become my new TV boyfriend. Darn FOX.

As for Buffy and Dawn, you know how much I love the two of them. Their relationship became the heart of the show to me. It rather intrigued me that in "Lies," Buffy said she'd sacrifice Dawn--yet at the end, before Buffy shuts out Giles, you see her tenderly touching Dawn's face. It gives the lie to how much Buffy was trying to separate herself, to harden herself so she could do what seemed necessary. And, of course, Buffy sends Dawn away. She kept everyone else there, including Anya and Andrew (who were arguably superfluous), but she sent Dawn away, or tried to. No matter what, Buffy wanted Dawn safe. If Sunnydale fell and it was left to others like Angel to save the world, Buffy wanted Dawn to have a chance. If Buffy succeeded, she wanted to make sure that Dawn lived through the saving of the world because, after all, what is the world compared to a sister?

And now I firmly believe that Buffy's showing Dawn the world, just as she promised.

As for Angel and Connor, others have covered that relationship better than I could. I do very much want to see how everything finally turns out, though, because I don't believe we've seen the end of it.

Thanks for another beautiful post, butterfly!

Re: I love these relationships.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

They really are beautiful expressions of love. The sacrifice and hope and sheer willingingness to do anything.

And I, too, think that Buffy was lying in Lies. Both of the 'victims', Spike and Buffy, spend a lot of time in the episode talking big and proving themselves.

Simon and River are just one of my favorite things ever. They were what hooked me onto Firefly. The first episode I saw, I immediately went - I want to know more about them.

And thanks.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

With Lies... I wasn't convinced she really would sacrifice Dawn, I think she was saying what she thought she was supposed to. I mean, I reckon she thought she could kill Dawn if she had to, but she says it so casually that I doubt it. She still couldn't give her up.

Angel and Conner are Teh Kewt, though it pains me to admit my human weaknessess. :P And the fact that he gives him up after all that angst to get him back and then the issues with Wesley and... I *heart* Angel sometimes...

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I agree about Buffy. I don't think that she could have - she tries to send Dawn away from the final battle, after all.

I *heart* Angel far too much of the time, recently.