butterfly | Naturally, the gloom and doom ignites my love

There is nothing quite so heartbreakingly beautiful as watching someone shatter. There's a beauty in the breakdown. When the strong person isn't as strong because they've tried and they've loved and yet it isn't enough.

It makes sense that this Smallville grabbed my heartstrings tightly - this one was willing to make the hard choices. It's the beginning of the breakdown between Clark and Lex and both sides make sense.

I'd been worried that they wouldn't make Clark's half of the Rift as understandable as Lex's. My faith was slightly restored in Slumber, when we saw Clark's fear, and got a new jolt of life in Shattered, where we see Clark try so hard and yet, in the final moment, we see him unable to save Lex. In fact, he probably didn't realize that Lex need saving (though I'm sure he will, and when he does, it'll eat him up inside), since Chloe gave the docter's meds the all-clear.

From start to finish, I adored Clark in this. He risked everything that he could, gambled the safety of his friends and of Lana, all on the faith that Lex couldn't be nuts. Because he didn't want to believe that Lex could be losing his mind.

Lex told him to make a choice and Clark made it after only one quick glance at his parents. And after that, he never stopped, and only slightly stumbled, until the very end. He gave until he was exhausted and bloody and just plain running on empty.

He believed in Lex, continued to fight even after Lex was accusing him of betrayal. He stood against Lionel Luthor without a flinch. He threatened two men so that he could find Lex. He crawled past kryptonite beads to push Lex out of the way of the car. Everything in Clark was focused on saving Lex.

And then Lex saw him. And Lex knew that he wasn't human.

And this is the Clark of Slumber, who fears rip and the tear of Lex's lost faith. Just as Clark sees Fun!Lana instead of the Real!Lana, he was seeing Pissed Off!Lex from his dreams instead of the awed Lex in front of him.

A sword breaking on his back.

DreamLex: "Nothing left to lose, the last of the Katai lunged at the warrior with this sword. The blade cut him clean in two. But when the warrior's armor fell away, the Katai saw he wasn't even human... Just like you, Clark. See, I've always been honest with you. But it turns out you've been lying to me from the first day I laid eyes on you."

Lex: "You're not even human."

Clark doesn't want the rest of the speech. Clark doesn't want the rejection, so he runs, not realizing that he'd projected something onto Lex that Lex didn't feel.

And he leaves Lex to the doctor he thought was okay.

Sometimes I wonder what it means to love the broken ones best.