Asylum (yet more on Clark)

[butterfly]

The second picture on the icon is the exact moment that I was talking about earlier. That's Clark's face after Jonathan tells him that there are people more powerful than he is - he gets this look for a moment, then blinks it away, nods at his dad, and walks away.

Clark is in the aftermath. I've seen enough comments from people that I do believe that Lex remembers something (Lemonade instead of alcohol in his study?), but not everything.

But Clark remembers every painful moment.

It's funny - normally Angel is the show that I rewatch a million times so that I can see all the finer points. But this week...

So, Clark in the Kent scene, after he's seen Lex and decided not to tell. And Martha and Jonathan aren't in Superman colors, which is a rarity. Indictive of the fact that they're not acting in Clark's best interest? (they're concentrating on his secret and on keeping him safe - that's all they're concerned with, that's what they focus on the entire episode - no, that's what they've been focusing on the entire season. Clark's self-imposed exile really worked over his parents and they're now more paranoid than ever.)

"I'm sorry, Clark." First, Martha tries to comfort him, her hand on his. Clark doesn't physically respond to any of their comforting in this scene. Here, he just stares off, trapped in his own world.

"Lex is okay. Your secret's safe. You gotta find some consolation in that." Jonathan's hand on Clark's shoulder and neck - and he isn't responding to that either.

He doesn't acknowledge the utter crassness of what Jonathan says (hey, it only took electroshock therapy, but at least Lex doesn't know your secret). Instead, he points out that he can find no 'consolation' in anything that happened.

"Lex is right. Lionel got away with murder." He's pointing out the huge and horrible things here - things that matter far more than his secret. And this isn't just about the murder - it's about the symbolic murder of Lex. Yes, I think that Clark believes Lionel needs to pay for the murder as well, but at this point in time, Lex is the only thing that gets Clark as cold and deep and passionate as he gets later.

"But you didn't tell him what really happened?" And it is a question - Jonathan isn't certain. And this is a terribly disturbing show of the Kents' priorities. Lionel got away with murder and all Jonathan cares about is Clark's secret.

Now, Clark shifts a little - uncomfortable, uncertain of whether or not his choice was right.

"I figured - what's the point?" Martha and Jonathan share a look - parental collusion - we need to keep our boy safe.

"Clark... Clark, I do not want you and Chloe taking up this charge."

"Someone's gonna make Lionel pay for his crime." Oh, and the deep certainty in Clark's voice there. The first time, I heard "gotta", but after rewatching (and totally throwing out what the captioning says because he doesn't say "So, no one's..." unless he's way slurring) I do think that it's the more certain "gonna". And the implication there - that Martha hears that makes her part her lips in shock - the implication is, "that someone is me". Because he's the one who knows.

"Someday, somebody's going to make Lionel pay for his crime, but that day is not today, Clark." Significant thing that isn't said - "and that person is not you." Because, I think, Jonathan is afraid that Clark would disagree with that statement and Jonathan doesn't want to have to accept that. Just as he doesn't want to accept Clark's alien-ness.

For the first time in the scene, Clark blinks and his focus is lost. He takes in Jonathan's words, and Jonathan forges ahead, trying to make Clark see Kent reason.

"Now, I know this is very difficult for you, but you have to realize there are people out there who are more powerful than you are." And Jonathan speaks quickly, throwing a glance at Martha - he's trying hard to get Clark to accept his words, accept his reasoning. To get Clark to give up on this particular issue.

And Clark presses his lips together, that sharp focus coming back for just a moment - it's a flash of Kal, a flash of the man who'll calmly threaten pain to those who stand in the way of him getting to Lex. Then he pushes it away and acknowledges his father's words without accepting them. There's an effort in what he does - he's realized that this is something his parents won't stand with him on. This, like going to find out about his past in Rosetta, this is something he has to do alone. He can't depend on his parents for support or acceptance, not on this front. He forces himself to be 'Clark' for his parents, but even then can only muster up a soft breath to say, "Yeah." He's given up, but not on the Lex&Lionel situation - he's given up on his parents' support for this.

Clark's in red plaid - the only person in this scene who is wearing a shirt with a primary color on it. He has gained a focus with this pain - is showing that it is Clark Kent who becomes Superman of his own will, not because of what his parents say or do.

He shrugs off their false comfort, goes off to sit by himself. Jonathan hugs himself, not welcomed to hug his son at this point.

Martha takes the torch from Jonathan and she goes to Clark. If Jonathan can't talk him out of this, perhaps Martha can distract him.

"You okay?" That's such a... stupid question. Is he okay?

"In a way, I envy Lex. He seemed so happy." He turns his face toward Martha, but doesn't look at her. Clark's voice is rough, and he sounds almost on the edge of tears.

"I wish I could erase the last few months of my life." Clark's voice hurts my heart. Martha sits with him, places her arm around him - and he doesn't respond to her comfort. The sheer enormity of what he's saying - that he covets that forgetfulness, that he wishes he could forget, too. Forget his failures and forget the pain. It's an understandable urge, after all he's gone through.

"I hear they're having a welcome back party for Lana at the Talon. Why don't you go?" And Clark sighs, relaxes a little into her touch.

"You never quit, do you?" He's amused, despite himself. Not very amused, but it is a bit funny. He shows her how deep his pain is running and she tries to get him to focus on what he used to care about most - tries to get him to refocus his priorities.

"It's called tough love. Come on, go." Clark smiles, she cuddles him closer - and he still doesn't reciprocate. He's not hugging her back. But he is willing to be Clark for her. To at least make the attempt to be who he was before Metropolis, before Red Kryptonite, before Lex. He gives in for a moment.

But there isn't a hint of that smile when he goes to the Talon. He takes it all in and sees only the harm he caused. In a way, his discomfort here mirrors his discomfort at the mental ward - even the way he looks at the people is similar. But while he does connect with Lex at Belle Reve, he doesn't connect with Lana here. It's too late and they're too different.When Lana smiles at him, he doesn't respond - a direct contrast to what happened with Lex, where he goes toward Lex, grabs his hand back, where he wants to. With Lex, he backed away in horror, not wanting to look, not wanting to leave, yet wanting both. With Lana, it's a moment of sad acceptance and he turns and walks out.

You know, I really hope that Clark doesn't figure out that he flipped the switch that triggered the first shock. That's too much guilt for anyone to bear.

And In the End has kinda become my Clark/Lex theme song.

Comments

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

Amazing analysis of the scene. I especially like your observations about the clothing colours.

You know, I really hope that Clark doesn't figure out that he flipped the switch that triggered the first shock. That's too much guilt for anyone to bear.

I ache for them both. So much pain!

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Amazing analysis of the scene.

Thank you. I'm just trying to continue my run of being kickass at meta.

I especially like your observations about the clothing colours.

It feels so significant - his parents are so often in primaries or derivations. But his mom was wearing dark purple and I think Jonathan had on a greenish plaid. But they weren't acting as moral guides - they were acting out of fear.

I ache for them both. So much pain!

It hurts in the best way. Like I said, this is why I'm watching - for the pain and the passion.