(no subject)

[butterfly]

There's a bit of the show-off, the egotist, the attention-getter in most lj users, I'd guess. Of course, everyone has moments like that, but we, perhaps, have them more often.

A public journal is a statement to the world - "I'm here - pay attention to me."

We just all have different ways of expressing that need. And it is a need - all living things need care and attention, or they grow up stunted and unhealthy. Posting in lj is a bit like a cat meowing for playtime or a baby crying. Though those aren't terribly nice comparisions, I'll admit. Perhaps a better example would be the peacock, showing off his tailfeathers. Stories, essays, and personal anecdotes are all different varieties of bright shiny feathers.

Still not the most flattering comparision in the world, though.

But it all comes down to seeking attention.

I'll certainly admit that I have my moments. I'm having one right now - hence this post. I'm holding up a glittering ring and hoping that people will flatter and admire the way the colors gleam.

And part of the reason that I'm like that on lj is because I often don't let myself act that way otherwise. I don't hold up the fragile, shimmering gems of my ideas to people in general. Unless I know someone well, I'm very restrained around them - my need to be ultra polite goes deep and I can't counteract it unless I trust that the person knows me well enough to know when not to take me seriously.

This is, I think, why I often identify with the repressed characters. I know why they act as they do (I'm amused by the fact that Fraser's grandparents were librarians, as my mom has a degree in library sciences - being raised by someone who is concerned with the order of things has an effect.). I'm drawn to the controlled ones, the people who bury things deeply, because that's what I do. Those are the people that I set in relation to myself.

Comments

[powrhug.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean babe...it's a journal, sure, but it's a public one. And we all wouldn't be posting if we didn't want to share with others.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

It's amazing versatile - which is probably why it's so popular. There might even be lj users who only have private entries, using it only as a personal journal - it's certainly an option.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

*Snuggles*

I'm not really sure what to say, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here listening. :-)

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

*pounces*

*snuggles*

[conversant.livejournal.com]

Recently, there have been some very interesting self-reflective posts about what people write in their LJs and what sort of attention they seek by posting in public or semi-public. Mahoney's was the first to catch my eye, but there have been several others since -- and they've got me thinking about my own posts, especially all the posts I *don't* make.

I can identify with what you've said about the contrast between your "exhibitionism" in LJ posts and your restraint during in-the-flesh interactions with other people. [Author's Note: I revised a phrase in that last sentence which started out as "your reservations about exposing yourself to others in the flesh." Revision is a Good Thing!]

It's an interesting thing that we LJers want the attention of strangers; I'm fascinated by the things people expose about themselves here, and the ways in which LJers play with the semi-anonymity of this medium.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

[Author's Note: I revised a phrase in that last sentence which started out as "your reservations about exposing yourself to others in the flesh." Revision is a Good Thing!]

Hee. Yes, it really is.

It's an interesting thing that we LJers want the attention of strangers; I'm fascinated by the things people expose about themselves here, and the ways in which LJers play with the semi-anonymity of this medium.

Someone should do a study. Actually, someone probably has/is.

Oh, we're all attention hogs!

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Hence the latest whining in my journal. Everyone has a basic need to be acknowledged. The LJ is simply one of those ways. I like to think of it as less destructive than some things we could be doing.

Re: Oh, we're all attention hogs!

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Exactly - it's a much healthier way to seek attention than many, many other choices.

[immortal-swan.livejournal.com]

Sure, we all need attention, and to express ourselves , in this case some of us find LJ one "efficient" way to do so..
I was wondering, now that you mentioned the public part of LJ. I was thinking that I dont mind at all knowing that my posts are read, but I would mind if I kept a jounal in my bedroom, for instance, and somebody started reading it.. it's kind of ironic but then, we are anonymous in some way, so my posts will be read by one or two, but maybe as soon as they leave they wont remember any of it..

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Right - because lj is public, it's public. But a personal journal - if someone reads one of those, then it's a violation.

Of course, that's not getting into the fact that it can feel like a violation if the wrong people read your lj - but it is a public space and while it would be more polite for family and such not to, the choice was always there to make posts 'friends-only'. I didn't change anything about my posting habits when I found out that my aunt had found my journal because I was always aware that it was a possibility.

[avrelia.livejournal.com]

You are right – LJ is a way to show off, to get some attention, to express our exhibitionist leanings… And much more. The fun is that we can choose what side of ourselves to show, what to write, how to write. That’s not always possible in real life, and it is not pretending, it is just not having an opportunity!right environment to express that side of ourselves. Here we are masters of our virtual environment. Plus, all the people, whom we would never meet in real life.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Exactly - it's getting to play with the side of ourselves that we're, perhaps, afraid to show in real life. We can just be us, without getting bogged down in expectations (though those do build over time) or looks.

Re:

[avrelia.livejournal.com]

Not necessarily afraid, or embarrassed even. I, for example, have given up to explain people in real life- who know me well enough - why I watch the show about vampires, and then itch to discuss it with someone. So I go in LJ.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

True enough - a lot of times, it's just that they don't Get It.

[onetwomany.livejournal.com]

...part of the reason that I'm like that on lj is because I often don't let myself act that way otherwise. I don't hold up the fragile, shimmering gems of my ideas to people in general. Unless I know someone well, I'm very restrained around them - my need to be ultra polite goes deep and I can't counteract it unless I trust that the person knows me well enough to know when not to take me seriously.

::nods:: I know exactly how you feel. I'm a pretty restrained person in real life, and I've never spoken with my real life friends about most of the stuff I ramble on about on LJ. It just wouldn't seem...dignified? Proper? Sensible? Not sure of the word exactly. Whatever, LJ is kinda freeing, in many ways. I ::heart:: it.

Re:

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Right, it's not seemly. Because of the all the passion. Here, I can be as passionate as I want, without worrying over what people will think about me liking that thing or this thing.