Today was not a good day.

[butterfly]

I'm going to try to get back on track tomorrow. Answer comments, finish a project for a friend.

Today, though, wasn't a good day.

I have a little scratch on my shoulder. Looks like a cat did it.

It started with an accident. I accidentally cut my finger. Got a bandage from the manager and then didn't stop thinking about it.

So I took a box cutter and scratched a line across my shoulder. Then I thought about cutting the rest of the day. I'm thinking about it now. It's kinda funny that the accidental cut bled more than the intentional one.

I've just been feeling so restless and crazy and lost today.

I am so scared. I have classes next week. I want this to work so badly and I am so terrified that I'll fail again.

I've been saying these silly, crazy things to keep myself from crying -- "Don't think. Don't breathe. Don't think, don't breathe, you won't bleed." Low, so that no one would hear me, but I have been saying them out loud. Then when I got out to my car, I cried for about ten minutes before I could start the car.

No one at work seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary. Which is good. It is.

It's a good thing.