butterfly: (Close to one another - Fraser (by tarar))
[personal profile] butterfly
First, links to the Ray Kowalski 'Mongoose' quartet of Diamondback -- Distant Echoes, Blackbird, Respite, and Twice for Yes.

And it seems as though I'll need to finish this fic before I can write on anything else, because this story has me twisted up inside.

Fic Title: Gods and Monsters
Series Title: Diamondback (Rattler)
Summary: Earlier that day, Benton Fraser is... loved.
Pairing(s): Victoria/Fraser; various others
Timeline: AU after Hunting Season
Rating: Adult themes. Definitely.
Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em.

She was running out.

Victoria rubbed her eyes and counted pills again. Only a dozen left.

It shouldn't be taking this long. All this down time couldn't be healthy for Ben. She felt a surge of frustration, only amplified by the constant tightness in her head. She loved him so much, she'd gone back to get him, to get him back and he wasn't supposed to be fighting her. Yes, she'd expected a period of adjustment, but two months should have been more than enough time for him to shed his old life.

She'd risked so much to get her hands on the tuinal in the first place. Getting more would mean money than she couldn't afford to spend, not now.

But even under the drug, Ben was trying to fight her. It didn't make any sense. He was hers, she'd seen that in his eyes when he'd taken that bullet for her. He'd wanted to be with her so fucking much and now that they were together, he wasn't letting her take care of him.

She sighed, looking over at Ben on the bed. Still sleeping. He was sleeping so much and it couldn't be healthy. Couldn't be helped. Whenever he was awake, he pleaded with her to let him go.

He should know better.

Victoria shivered, goosebumps forming on her arms, and recounted the pills. She'd have to go into town, see if she could get back into contact with her.... connection. She couldn't let Ben wake up all the way when he was so terribly upset with her. She'd just have to find a way to get more money.

She left the pills on the worn cherry wood desk and sat down on the bed. Ben shifted toward her, caught in that state between aware and asleep that he seemed almost to live in these days. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips, and Victoria moved forward, carefully balancing herself on the bed as she kissed him softly. He was in no shape to be manhandled. She had to be gentle, gentle as any animal would be with a wounded mate.

So she kept her kisses as light as a hummingbird, caressing his skin with brushes of lips and tongue and breath. She tasted the corner of his mouth and his eyes opened sleepily.

"Missing," Ben told her, the slur in his voice blurring out the 's'es. If she hadn't had so much practice listening, she'd never be able to figure out what he was saying. Of course, half the time he wouldn't even speak in English, so she was lucky for the moment.

"I'm right here, Ben," she reminded him, lifting a hair to touch his hair, frowning a little at the sweat-stickiness of the strands. She'd need to bathe him again soon. "I love you so much."

"Pidjangitok," Ben said, as clearly as he could, face contorted in effort. Victoria shook her head, then had to pull a short curl out of her mouth. But after the way he'd pulled on it after they'd first gotten here, when she'd thought she could trust him off the tuinal, she knew she'd needed to get it cut, just to make sure that she could keep it out of the reach of his hands when she had to.

"I don't know what you're saying, Ben," Victoria said, stroking a steady hand over his face. God, seeing him this way made her ache. "I don't understand."

"Missing," he repeated, the word slurring even more this time, then he closed his eyes, the lines on his face softening as he shifted back towards sleep. Her beautiful, broken angel, his skin cream and silk.

She let out a deep breath, and lightly touched her lips to his forehead. "You will always be my love."

Yes, she'd go into town today. She couldn't risk losing Ben.

~second verse of a song in progress~


*Pidjangitok -- cannot do it (in Inuktitut)

*Tuinal -- a barbiturate (mixture of two, actually -- secobarbital and amobarbital), a central nervous system depressant.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-06-03 02:17 pm (UTC)
jic: Daniel Jackson (SG1) firing weapon, caption "skill to do comes of doing" (Default)
From: [personal profile] jic
This story is twisting me up, too. Write! Something critical depends on it! (I just don't know what.)

Even with this being Fraser's first actual screen-time, you do his voice so very well through Ray. I'm thinking Vicki's a bit not sane, though, eh?

(no subject)

Date: 2004-06-03 05:07 pm (UTC)
ext_1774: butterfly against blue background (Default)
From: [identity profile] butterfly.livejournal.com
Even with this being Fraser's first actual screen-time, you do his voice so very well through Ray.

Thank you kindly.

I'm thinking Vicki's a bit not sane, though, eh?

Not entirely. I'm sure that she'd say it was Ben's fault.

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