Molly Weasley -- Not My Mother

[butterfly]

Just read sistermagpie's essay on The Mother of All Mothers.

I'm another one of those people who Don't Get the Molly Weasley thing. Rather, my mom is nothing like her and thus I don't understand what's appealing about her, because it's the very things that separate my mom from being a Molly that make me appreciate her so much now. My mom has always been intensely supportive, but not controlling -- she's let me make my own mistakes (and boy, wow, some of them have been) but she's always there if I ask for help. All I have to do is ask and she will be there for me. To me, that's what a mother is and I can't imagine living a with a Molly Weasley.

In some ways, my mom has other things in common with Molly -- she was the one in charge of the house, when she was married to my dad. She took care of the bills and the taxes and the meals (but she didn't harp on how she did all these things -- she did them because she wanted them to get done, because she loved her family and wanted them to be taken care of, because she could).

The worst feeling in the world, or so it seems at the time, is to hurt and disappoint your mom. But in another direct contrast to Molly, my mom would never have dreamed of doing anything other than stand by me in public -- she'd only let me know how wrong whatever I'd done was when we were alone. She never tried to embarrass me in front of anyone and with very few exceptions, she never did, even when I was a teen and thus very sensitive to any sort of embarrassment.

And Molly Weasley reminds me of another mom that bugs me -- Debbie on the US QAF. She's pushy and controlling and did more to keep Michael a child than Brian ever did. As a direct contrast, I always liked Hazel, Vince's mom (QAF UK), who loved Vince more than anything but was right when she accused Stuart of being the one to encourage Vince to stay dependent. Hazel wanted her son to grow up and learn that he mattered, too, while Debbie wanted hers to always be her little boy.

I love my mom and I respect her. She's funny and fannish and incredibly sweet. She wants me to be able to stand on my own two feet and be my own person.

That's my mother.

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

It really does sometimes seem that ones reaction to Molly is colored by ones own mother, doesn't it? Some people recognize their own mother in Molly and hate it; some recognize their own mother in Molly and love it. To me she's like "other people's mothers." That is, I know people have mothers like that, but she's just so fundamentally different from my own mother. In a way I think the Weasleys family and my own are based on some fundamentally different principles--they're not always opposing principles, and it's not that we're right and they're wrong, but they're different. So a lot of things people take as just normal in Molly, maybe, to me seem a lot more aggressive.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

It really does sometimes seem that ones reaction to Molly is colored by ones own mother, doesn't it?

Makes sense, though. She's the most active mother in the Potterverse. We constantly see her engaged in the act of mothering.

That is, I know people have mothers like that, but she's just so fundamentally different from my own mother.

Right, exactly. I can try to imagine having a mom like her, but I fail.

[boniblithe.livejournal.com]

I didn't really understand Molly until I sat down and thought about what it would be like, as a mother, to raise wizard children, almost all of whom were active boys, and two of whom were FRED AND GEORGE.

And that made me so glad that she is a fictional character, and not me. LOL I will take my nice, quiet, single female child any day.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

See, I'm a horrible person, because my first reaction to that is, "Well, if she can't handle all those children, she should have stopped at three."

But I don't understand big families. I intellectually almost understand why people might have them, but emotionally? None of it makes sense to me.

[lasultrix.livejournal.com]

I HATE QAF US DEBBIE TOO.
I THINK WE ARE THE ONLY ONES.
I shall stop the majuscules now.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

OMG, I go off on Debbie after every episode. Jesus! What a nightmare.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Debbie terrifies me. So much. I feel so horrible for Michael. And thrilled that, at least in what I've seen, he has started to stand up to her. At last. Thank Daniel and his lions.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Debbie is so incredibly pushy. And the way she wants Michael to be so dependent on her and the way she desperately gloms onto the 'mom of a gay man's life is disturbing.

[selenak.livejournal.com]

Did you also read the Molly defense (http://www.livejournal.com/users/musesfool/680684.html) by musesfool? Personally, I'm neutral on Molly, but I'm fascinated on how Weasley fans and Slytherin fans never seem to interact on each other's posts (well, almost never). You get well-written posts from both pov's, and a lot of people who agree on the pov in question, but not people who debate on that same entry...

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I did read that, actually. I just dislike the idea of going onto someone's journal to say that I disagree with them. You never know how sensitive people are. And the very wording of the essay threw me off. Because not being able to understand the antipathy seems... well, sistermagpie did a great essay about that whole thing (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sistermagpie/61476.html). The tone of the post puts me off because it feels exclusive, like it's just for the people who agree with that point of view. That may or may not be the intention of the poster, but that's the impression that I get.

Because yeah, I adore Draco, but I understand why some people don't (whiny racist brat). I understand why people don't like Xander (hypocrite, liar, and deserter) or Wesley (melodramatic, fucked-up stalker). I understand why people don't like Daniel (arrogant, overbearing intellectual asshole). What's hard for me to understand is why it's hard for some people to understand that everyone has a unique perspective on the world.