butterfly | (no subject)

I get my non-needed for rent paycheck on Monday, at which point I fully plan to join a few organizations. I also fully do plan, at some point, to move to Canada, but that's actually something I plan to do about ten to fifteen years from now, and is not based on escaping Bush but on the fact that I'm in love with Canada.

While I'm in the United States, I do plan to fight for my rights here. Especially in Oregon, from whom I damn well expected better. Passing Measure 36 felt like a deep, personal betrayal, one that I'm not planning on getting over any time soon. Hate may not help, but anger can be motivating. After my day of mourning, I feel prepared to fight again. Because forty-eight percent is not insignificant.

I personally know a couple of people that I work with who did not vote -- I'm planning on going to them with the various issues and letting them know what they've lost by not participating in the system. I plan to speak with my father and his wife about their votes -- I never got around to asking my dad what he voted on 36, because I was afraid to know the answer. I'm not frightened any more -- the worst has officially happened and I have no time for fear.

We take the hand that we're given and use it. That's all that we can do and it can be a hell of a lot.

The apocalpse is happening right now, has been happening since the first time that one man declared himself superior to another. We're fighting entropy. And maybe it isn't the outcome that matters as much as it is the fight.

And it's not that I can't give up, but that I won't.

I choose to fight for my rights. For my right to love whom I choose, for my right to exist as a whole person.

Fighting is strong. Fighting is alive. It's amazing how much of an inspiration Angel is turning out to be for me right now.

Women fought painful and hard battles to be seen as equal in the eyes of the law. African-Americans fought painful and hard battles to be seen as equal in the eyes of the law. Even now, many Americans do not acknowledge the basic equality of every person.

Queers are fighting our painful and hard battles right now. We are not equal in the eyes of the law, not at this moment. That's what we're fighting for. Attitudes change so very slowly and the change has to be fought for, moment by moment.

And I don't fight with the bedrock certainty that I know the absolute truth for everyone. I fight with the certainty that I have just as much value as a person as any other. That my humanity is as real as anyone else's. And no one can take that belief away from me.

No one can take away your faith in yourself. You are worthy and well-worth loving. That's why we're fighting, why we must keep fighting.

Hope can be won from our moments of darkest despair -- that is the tale of Angel, Darla, and Connor. Despair can birth hope -- never forget that. And as long as hope survives, so do we.