Buffy, 'Real Life', etc.
Oct. 23rd, 2004 07:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyI don't actually read Buffy fic anymore (Occasionally, I'll read a piece that gets a really, really good rec). The only Angel fic that I'm reading is the 'showtime' virtual season. Despite this, I don't consider myself 'out of fandom', because I haven't stopped adoring the characters and stories. If anything, I love them more, my joy in the series overriding any desire to explore other options because I consider this time almost... sacred, a time set aside to think and dream. Part of me wonders if that has anything to do with Firefly's planned Big Damn Movie, but I'm not sure. It's almost a mourning period and yet it isn't.
It's like my website -- no matter how long it's been since I've updated it, I don't stop thinking of it as active, because I've no plans to shut my heart on those fandoms.
Again, never say never, but even when I've felt burned in a fandom, it doesn't stop my personal interest, though it may slow my artist impluses (and writing is both art and craft, abstract and detailed).
I just love my girl. My first hand-picked show that I watched whatever my family said, despite the fact that, at first, I knew no one else who liked it. My show, my irrationally possessive mind whispers. My girl got her happy ending, got the chance to live happy and free from her burden. And I have no doubt that, should the world require her, she would be there, but (and I think this is what we see in the series), I get the feeling that Giles wants her to have this chance as much as anyone (okay, I get this feeling from his song wherein he says "wish I could lay your arms down and let you rest at last") and thus, he would not have been calling her about what Angel said. Especially since Angel was being kinda prick-y on the phone ("tell [Willow] to haul her astral to LA"? -- Giles is not going to respond well to that, which Angel should know).
I love many characters, but my love for Buffy feels like... it's like the way I love my brother, wherein I could disagree with everything he says (and sometimes I do), but I ache for him when the world doesn't go the way he thinks it will and I love him so much that it baffles me at times. Because I do disagree with him and some of those are issues that would make it difficult for me to be friends with someone, but he's my brother and I love him and sometimes life is that simple. And I just want him to be happy in his life, though I've been known to tease him half to death over some of his choices. I get distracted and never show it, but he knows, the same way that I know he loves me (he once compared us to Boromir and Faramir, because of a position that dad put us in re: showing off Kris' talents, and I almost died from geeky joy -- I love that my brother and I are both geeks, though I am not surprised, as it runs in the family). Familial love confuses me a little, because it's a love that comes before reason. My dad can make me cry and I hate how he's living his life and if I knew him as a regular person, I wouldn't bother knowing him. But I love him, because he's my dad.
I have absolutely no idea what happened with this post. It just kept going in an odd direction. I disclaim responsibility.
It's like my website -- no matter how long it's been since I've updated it, I don't stop thinking of it as active, because I've no plans to shut my heart on those fandoms.
Again, never say never, but even when I've felt burned in a fandom, it doesn't stop my personal interest, though it may slow my artist impluses (and writing is both art and craft, abstract and detailed).
I just love my girl. My first hand-picked show that I watched whatever my family said, despite the fact that, at first, I knew no one else who liked it. My show, my irrationally possessive mind whispers. My girl got her happy ending, got the chance to live happy and free from her burden. And I have no doubt that, should the world require her, she would be there, but (and I think this is what we see in the series), I get the feeling that Giles wants her to have this chance as much as anyone (okay, I get this feeling from his song wherein he says "wish I could lay your arms down and let you rest at last") and thus, he would not have been calling her about what Angel said. Especially since Angel was being kinda prick-y on the phone ("tell [Willow] to haul her astral to LA"? -- Giles is not going to respond well to that, which Angel should know).
I love many characters, but my love for Buffy feels like... it's like the way I love my brother, wherein I could disagree with everything he says (and sometimes I do), but I ache for him when the world doesn't go the way he thinks it will and I love him so much that it baffles me at times. Because I do disagree with him and some of those are issues that would make it difficult for me to be friends with someone, but he's my brother and I love him and sometimes life is that simple. And I just want him to be happy in his life, though I've been known to tease him half to death over some of his choices. I get distracted and never show it, but he knows, the same way that I know he loves me (he once compared us to Boromir and Faramir, because of a position that dad put us in re: showing off Kris' talents, and I almost died from geeky joy -- I love that my brother and I are both geeks, though I am not surprised, as it runs in the family). Familial love confuses me a little, because it's a love that comes before reason. My dad can make me cry and I hate how he's living his life and if I knew him as a regular person, I wouldn't bother knowing him. But I love him, because he's my dad.
I have absolutely no idea what happened with this post. It just kept going in an odd direction. I disclaim responsibility.
