Write and Wrong

People don't like to admit to being wrong. I know that I don't.

And people tend to see themselves as the good guy. Joss Whedon - on the commentary for Serenity - mentions that he had to tell Adam to stop playing Jayne like a villain. That Jayne sees himself as the hero.

Whether or not people think much of themselves, they do tend to assume that their opinions are the most valid. What one knows to be truth simply is, regardless of how many others may disagree. It's a common habit of martyrs and dictators. Rebels and rulers.

Makes sense. The only thing that people can ever truly know is their own perspective, their own feelings and wants. We tend to judge people on what we value.

Writing a character is the best way for me to get under their skin. It forces me to stop thinking of the characters the way I think of the characters and instead think of them the way that, for example, Buffy would. Which is why I could write a story that practically breathed longing for Angel years before I found the character attractive. Buffy did, therefore, when I was in her skin, so did I. Writing a Spike drabble did a good deal more to get to understand and like him than a book's worth of glowing essays on the topic.

Possibly part of the reason that I'm not a huge Willow fan is because I've never truly tried to live in her skin. I've written a thought or two, but getting inside Willow wasn't on my mind in those stories - though it should have been.

See, to me, understanding is akin to liking. Once I understand someone, it's hard for me to stay mad at them. Once they click in my head, once they make sense, then I get why they do the stupid things that they do and I forgive them. I can't hate someone for being themselves. For being weak enough to give into their fears.

Possible that leniency comes from giving into my own enough times. And it's likely that Firefly is having a horrible influence on my casual writing. Odd sentence structures and the like. Joss always was good at making odd words and phrases feel useful and fun.

So, tonight, I write. Get under some skins that I've been meaning to for a while. Time to go backwards.

You found me broken. It's hard for you.

Joss reuses themes. I don't actually see anything wrong with that, because he approaches it differently each time.

So, I've been thinking about love.

About love that's scary and as part of someone as their own blood. Because it is their blood.

I've been thinking about three pivotal family relationships - Angel and Connor; Buffy and Dawn; Simon and River.

For all of Joss' talk about the importance of created families, he has a self-sacrifice in the blood families that you don't generally see elsewhere. Those relationships are double whammies - created and blood. Physical and emotional. Chosen and Choosing.

Simon gives up everything for his sister. His entire world is nothing when weighed against his sister.

For Buffy, in The Gift, the entire world is nothing when weighed against her sister. She can't live in a world where the choice is between the world and the one you love. Buffy sacrifices herself to save her sister.

Angel sacrifices his son to save his son. He'll sacrifice his son knowing him, knowing who he is, for his son's happiness.

Simon gives up his way of living, Buffy gives up her life, Angel gives up his miracle. To keep them safe. There are some phrases that you can shift from relationship to relationship and still have them makes sense.

"She's just a kid. She just wants to be... a kid."

"Then the last thing she'll see is me protecting her."

"I want to give you everything. I want to take back the mistakes, help you start over."

What they want more than anything is for this person to be happy. To be healthy. To be sane. Each of them goes about securing that in different ways, but the drive is the same. They all need to protect this person that they feel responsible for. The person that they love down to blood and bone. These relationships are very much about self sacrifice.