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The Night Before
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Growing Up On A Hellmouth: An Introduction

Written after Entropy, before Seeing Red(there will be 11 more parts posted throughout the day)

Joss has said that this season's theme is 'Oh, grow up!' and all three of the main Scoobies are obviously struggling with this task.

Interestingly enough, each of them is twice paralleled in their journeys, first by a member of the geek trio and second by a member of what I call 'the non-humans', Anya, Spike, and Dawn.

Each of the Scoobies has a primary virtue, the reason that each of them took up the fight in the first place. It is these virtues that have overwhelmed them and caused their immaturity.

Each of the geeks has a matching lack in their primary virtue, which causes them to become 'evil'.

The non-humans each have a matching primary virtue, twisted sideways into a blindness and a fault.

Buffy is paralleled in Jonathon and Dawn, Willow in Andrew and Anya, and Xander in Warren and Spike.

Tara occupies an area both outside and in between them all, as she is the best example we have of a functioning, caring adult.

And yes, I tried to be cute and find an episode title that fit each of the characters.

And all of these will be posted on my site as well as here.

Growing Up On A Hellmouth

For those who might be curious, this is the graphic to the title page for my essays.

Life stuff.

I have an appointment to see my doctor at 11. Very good.

Buffy: Weight of the World

Responsibility and Strength

Sunnydale, and occasionally the world, revolve around Buffy Summers. Something that most people feel at times is a vivid, real experience for Buffy. But Buffy hasn't had a center for a while and without that, everything started to spin out of control. Is it only a coincidence that everyone else starts to get their act together when Buffy does? The main flaw that people accuse Buffy of seems to be selfishness. In a sense, I believe that they are correct, but it is a grounded and remarkably selfless selfishness. What Buffy has is a tremendous sense of responsibility to her friends and to the world at large. She believes that to be a Slayer she has to be emotionally as well as physically strong. What starts out as a good, the lesson that 'with great power comes great responsibility'(Spider-Man), is pulled out of shape until Buffy feels like she has to not only be Protector to the world but also never show the strain. Buffy has had many 'turning points' this year. Although they seem repetitive at times, it is a truth that the world will keep forcing lessons on you until you learn from them. Buffy hasn't yet learned that the greatest way to augment her strength might be to allow others to shoulder some of her emotional burdens.

Willow: The Puppet Show

(warning: turned out much bitchier than I expected. Sorry. Doesn't the image rock though?)
Helping the Helpless


She just wanted to help Buffy. Right?

Willow's virtue/flaw has always been apparent to me. She's a big fan of taking shortcuts with good excuses.

After all, why should it matter if you hack into a system, if it helps in saving the world?

To me, Willow has always been the greyest of the White Hats.

She's always had a drive to prove herself. To show everyone exactly how wonderful she can be. In her selflessness, there is a core of selfishness.

And hiding under the selfishness, in plain sight, there is a lump of insecurity.

Helping people is good. It's even better if you're doing it out of a desire to help and not a desire to be important.

Xander: Passion

Anger and Love


Will. Not. Quote. Passion.

Okay. I think we're safe.

Xander is driven by his emotions. This was recently brilliantly illustrated in Entropy, but there's usually a touch of it in any good episode.

At times, this can turn out well. At other times, everything goes to hell.

The problem, of course, is that Xander doesn't control his emotions, they control him.

But in many ways, Xander has the clearest vision of any in the group. His morality is pure and simple.

Or, it was.

Buffy fell in love with a former murderer in Angel. Xander did the same thing with Anya. Everything that he said to Anya in Entropy can also be said of him(well, not the dead bit, but you get my meaning), he slept with an unrepentant murderer.

Hate is a double-edged sword. It always cuts you at least as deeply as the person you hate.


Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws... and howl. Passion... is born... And though uninvited, unwelcome, unwanted... like a cancer... it takes root. It festers... it bleeds... it scabs... only to rupture. It speaks to us, guides us; passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?
Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

Let's all pretend that didn't happen.

Health Update

I went, she saw, they took blood.

They're going to test it for mono and if it's negative, I get an ultrasound.

oh. yay.

More health stuff

So, I was weighed and measured as well at the doctor's, because they always do that.

But yeah. I'm 254 lbs. That's about 25-30 less than the last time I was weighed.

How did I lose 30 pounds and not notice?

Oh. This does explain why my belt now closes at the second notch instead of the third.

Huh.

Jonathon: Listening to Fear

Lack of Strength and Responsibility: Not That Innocent


We've known him nearly as long as we've known Buffy. We hurt when he hurts and hold out hope that this time, he won't just feel bad, he'll learn his lesson.

Why is Jonathon a Buffy parallel? Take the example of Katrina's death. In the case of both parties, they knew that they'd killed/helped kill someone. Buffy took responsibility. Jonathon helped cover up his involvement.

The primary difference between the two of them?

Fear.

Jonathon is intensely afraid. Of Warren. Of Buffy.

Even of Willow, pre-power.

In Superstar, I believe that it is telling that although he occupied all of the gang's mantles, he seemed to enjoy Buffy's position, that of a leader, the most.

And in Superstar, as in Earshot, he eventually acted responsibly, when faced with Buffy and the fact that he wasn't the only one with feelings and needs.

Thus far, he has managed to fight the rest of the geeks on only one issue, that of Buffy's life. That is the only line that he hasn't been willing to cross.

Let's hope that he manages to overcome his fear in time to save himself.

Andrew: Teacher's Pet

Lack of Control: Minion Man


Andrew attached himself to a strong leader, who he aids and supports whole-heartedly.

But Andrew is a flake at heart. We've seen him move from shudders of horror to "Cool" in a single episode. As long as someone's with him, Andrew is willing to cross any line.

So why is he a Willow parallel?

Precisely because of that. Willow decided to fight the good fight because it was right. Andrew decided to become a crime lord over a game.

He lacks the center and the control that Willow has been misusing lately. Unlike Willow, Andrew goes with the flow, fully willing to let everyone else order him around.

He lacks motivation. And no one can say that Willow's short of that.

Also, notice that they do have a few things in common. Like the line-crossing part.

Warren: The Body

Lack of Love: Sociopathic Tendencies


Warren, a Xander comparison? And I call myself a whole-hearted Xander lover?

Yes and yes.

Warren reminds me of two Xanders in particular: Hyena!Xander and Vamp!Xander. Warren is Xander with his morals turned off.

Warren is the closest to a sociopath that we've seen on the show. He may even be a full-blown one. Does he see anyone as a person other than himself?

Warren set off warning bells from the moment that we met him. He created a dangerous sex-bot, left her to rot, and verbally abused his girlfriend(shades of Current!Xander in his bit, although, of course, Xander was never that forceful... until his most recent conversation with Anya). Later, of course, we would see how much darker he could get.

He's the closest to pure human evil that we've reached. And he's scary and totally freaks me out, if anyone was wondering.

Warren managed to pull two very talented, but socially inept boys into his circle and start to corrupt them.

He's dangerous. I just hope that Buffy's willing to take him seriously now.

Dawn: This Year's Girl

Misguided Strength and Responsibility: Damsel Takes Up Thieving


It is both appropriate and amusing that Dawn seems to be Buffy's most fitting parallel in this group.

Dawn has had a strong sense of responsibility forced onto her. She is/was the Key, possible of destroying everyone and everything.

That's a heavy load for anyone to carry.

As shown in Entropy, once people started paying attention to her, she showed some responsibility by telling Buffy about every item that she stole. And she went to Anya to talk about working off her debt.

So, what Dawn showed us was Responsibility and Strength marred by selfishness. That is the main theme for this group: selfishness.

Anya: Consequences

Misguided Need to Help: Vengeance


The parallel between Anya and Willow was first shown when we saw D'Hoffryn offer the vengeance job to Willow in Something Blue.

What made one choose to become a demon and one not to?

Similar to Dawn, Anya acted out of feeling lonely and lost. She blinded herself to the sympathy that the other girls were offering her and only went toward vengeance.

She was only thinking about her own pain. Again, we see the theme of selfishness.

The big question right now is whether or not Anya learned the right lesson from Entropy; that vengeance never helps anyone.

Spike: Dead Man's Party

Misguided Love: Selfish and Possessive

There is no denying that Spike loves deeply.

There is some argument about the quality of his love.

Spike is possessive, wanting all of Buffy for himself in the dark. Perhaps believing that that's the only way that he can fully have her.

His love is inherently selfish. He helps because of Buffy. I didn't like it when it looked like that's what Angel was doing and I don't like it now.

He fights because he enjoys violence and demons(and Buffy) are all he can use it against now.

My own belief is that an unsouled vampire is incapable of selfless love. Others differ on that point. In this, I fear that never the twain shall meet.

Tara: All the Way

Balancing Passion, Strength And Control: A Touchstone

Where does Tara fit in?

Tara is strong without believing that means she can never be weak.

She is passionate without letting her emotions take control.

She is helpful and caring without needing to control other people.

Tara is, as Joss showed us in Restless, our guide. She is the adult light at the end of the tunnel of adolescence.

A Conclusion

Not the conclusion, but a conclusion.

*important sounding cough*

My findings are as follows:

a. You can find parallels in practically anything.
b. Finding parallels is fun.
c. None of first 9 characters I examined are competent adults.
d. Xander also gets paralleled with the most dangerous people. Huh.
e. Buffy gets paralleled with the most moral of any particular group.
f. I like to bitch about Willow.
g. Amber Benson is quite the honey.
h. But I still adore my flawed Xander and Buffy above all others.

There.

That's probably enough of that.

I may post updates for each new episode. Maybe not. Who knows?

It's on in little over half an hour.

For the curious...

If I ever have a band, I'm so calling it Sociopathic Tendencies. 'Cause it's a fucking cool phrase.

Seeing Red

( Buffy Spoilers )

Seeing Red, non spoilery

I can't hardly believe that I wrote my thing on Spike before this episode.

It's funny, in a sick way.

And sorry, saava, but I can't get on aim tonight. It's just too much.

It's hurting to watch Smallville.

Buffy.

*whimper*

(no subject)

I watched Smallville and I have no clue what it was about.

God. Buffy was heart-breaking.

(no subject)

I've been thinking of giving up the TWoP boards. The Xander hate and Spike apologies are just getting to be too much.

Hello, unrepentant murderer? Why think that he wouldn't 'stoop' to rape?

I'd rather be raped than murdered. You have a chance to recover from a rape.

(no subject)

The best comparision that I can come up with for Seeing Red is Moulin Rouge. That constant swerving between pain and laughter.

Only it hurt so much more because I've loved them so long.

God. I want the B/X hug from Seeing Red as my OTP icon now.They were wearing white.

Clothes are so symbolic in Buffy.

GIP

New default icon. Sorry, Lance, sweetie, but the B/X trumped you.

Second GIP

I feel a bit like I was shot in the chest. All empty and gap-y. Swinging with the gaping chest wound and all.