spn - dean falling off the wagon

[butterfly]

Anonymous asked: maybe i made a simpler reading, but to me the prisoner it was Dean fully falling under the control of the MoC, he's not in control of his actions or else he would have never beaten up Cas like that.

Butterfly replies: Oh, I agree that the MoC is definitely a huge factor! Normal Dean also wouldn’t kill ‘poisoned fruit of the poisoned tree’ the way that Dean did here – Dean didn’t kill Amy’s son back in S7 for just this reason.

I actually, um, I talked about this a little while ago but I’m not sure I’ve moved the link to my meta page yet – I talked about how Dean has both been more emotionally healthy than he has in a while (until the crushing blow of 10x21 made his heart crumple) and yet also constantly fighting that losing battle against the Mark. Both of those things have been true all this season – we’ve been watching this war inside Dean happening.

I’ve enjoyed it, for the most part (with a 10x21 exception, basically), because there’s a delicacy and subtlety to it that has spoken to me. I’ve really liked the vast majority of this season and a large part of that has been because of this tee-totter that we’ve seen Dean on. And, at the end of 10x21, Dean was knocked off. Because so much of what was giving him strength in his fight against the call of the MoC were the “people who love me”, who he credited for pulling him back from the edge. But then he found out that (from his perspective) they didn’t actually believe in him at all, that they went behind his back, and that doing this got one of them killed. They didn’t think he could win this fight, but it was that faith from them that he believed he’d had that was giving him the strength to wage it at all.

 

 

 

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Original Post: dean falling off the wagon