Doctor Who: Doomsday note

[butterfly]

One more teeny, tiny note for Doomsday

The idea that Rose (or anyone) should structure their lives around another person's wishes drives me absolutely batty. If I'd lived my life the ideal way that my mom had wanted... I would be a great deal less happy than I am now. I'd likely have more of a college education, but less hard-earned wisdom.

The idea that Rose is a selfish brat because she didn't choose her mother and family over the Doctor... again, it drives me a little nuts. It's a worldview that is so completely opposed to my own. I love my mother. I adore her. But if I fell in love with someone, truly fell in love, and they wanted to move halfway across the world, I'd likely choose to be with the person that I was in love with rather than my family.

Or, if any of you have seen Fiddler on the Roof, the situation makes me think of the marriages in that. None of the daughters pick the men that their parents would have chosen for them. Are they selfish brats for that? Is Hodel selfish for leaving her family to join Perchik in Siberia? Is having a dream and following it really considered selfish?

I find it all very baffling.

Comments

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

But if I fell in love with someone, truly fell in love, and they wanted to move halfway across the world, I'd likely choose to be with the person that I was in love with rather than my family.

Yes, her mother is completely and totally wrong.
Your parents owe you stuff, not the other way round.
We don't ask to be born, do we?

[redthroatedloon.livejournal.com]

You know, while her mother was wrong, she was also acting like a mother, so you can't really blame her. I mean, no mom is really going to sincerely say, "Yes, darling, go off with that guy into another dimension where I'll never see you or even speak to you again and will never know if you live to be happy or die at the hands of a nasty alien, and never get a chance to meet my grandchildren (should there be any)." So this is a situation where there was no perfect answer, and each had to make the choice that they saw as best.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, I completely understand how Jackie feels. I've no argument with Jackie's characterization. I'm just baffled when fandom agrees with her. Even the fen who are parents are also children, so you'd think that they'd understand both sides of the story.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

*nods*

The big difference between my mother and father and the way they treat me is that my dad has often acted as though I was an 'investment'. He put in time and money and it's my duty to pay him back in the way that he'd like, by getting the kind of job that he respects and living the kind of life that he'd prefer. And that's nonsense, it really is.

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

... and don't ever forget it!

[beck-liz.livejournal.com]

The idea that Rose is a selfish brat because she didn't choose her mother and family over the Doctor... again, it drives me a little nuts.

Thank you The notion that, because Rose didn't choose to leave the Doctor that she therefore hasn't grown at all, drives me completely insane. There are a bunch of people out there who somehow think that going home to Mum would be a sign of her maturity. I really don't get that at all.

But if I fell in love with someone, truly fell in love, and they wanted to move halfway across the world, I'd likely choose to be with the person that I was in love with rather than my family.

Yes. Prior to the world-separation thing, I was comparing it to Rose falling in love with someone who lives in Australia. At least living with the Doctor didn't require a very long and expensive trip across the world to see her Mum! All it requires is a, "Doctor, I want to see my Mum," and he's got her there in five minutes or less.

Is having a dream and following it really considered selfish? I find it all very baffling.

Bless. Yes, I know. The only thing I can think is that people are raised differently and therefore look at it differently. But it still strikes me as extremely odd.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Thank you The notion that, because Rose didn't choose to leave the Doctor that she therefore hasn't grown at all, drives me completely insane. There are a bunch of people out there who somehow think that going home to Mum would be a sign of her maturity. I really don't get that at all.

They seem to be the same group (or overlap with the group) that thinks that Rose is a selfish, bratty child who isn't good enough to share breathing space with someone as magnificent as the Doctor. I don't think they want or expect maturity out of Rose, they just want the stupid girl to go home and play with her own toys instead of theirs.

That's kinda harsh of me. But I find myself more and more frustrated with this particular attitude.

Yes. Prior to the world-separation thing, I was comparing it to Rose falling in love with someone who lives in Australia. At least living with the Doctor didn't require a very long and expensive trip across the world to see her Mum! All it requires is a, "Doctor, I want to see my Mum," and he's got her there in five minutes or less.

Right -- he was completely willing to make sacrifices in his normal devil-may-care lifestyle for her. It went both ways.

[londonkds.livejournal.com]

As opposed to structuring your life around another person, plain and simple, in a way that stops you from doing anything much that's your idea?

Just playing devil's advocate here...

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

If Rose had been doing that, I would think that it was a very unhealthy relationship. But she wasn't the only one making sacrifices -- the Doctor was popping her around to her mother's whenever she wanted to go. He didn't ever ask her to give up her family, though circumstances arranged to force the choice.

Rose loved him, yeah, but she also loved the lifestyle. She mentions it in The Unquiet Dead -- "You can go back and see days that are dead and gone... a hundred-thousand sunsets ago. No wonder you never stay still." She tells him how much she loves traveling with him in New Earth.

She wanted that life. She loved it.