butterfly: (Before You -- Rose)
[personal profile] butterfly
Story Title: Two Coins, Silver (8/10)
Series Title: part of the Realignment universe
Author: [livejournal.com profile] butterfly
Summary: It's not exactly the honeymoon of anyone's dreams.
Pairing: Doctor/Rose
Rating: PG-13.
Warning: AU after Doctor Who 3x13 - "Last of the Time Lords". Some plot elements and lines from "The Voyage of the Damned", written by Russell T Davies.

Previous Parts: One; Two; Three; Four; Five; Six; Seven.

Two Coins, Silver


She should probably be paying more attention to exactly what Alonzo was doing right now. They'd heard something of a worrying warning a minute or so back and Alonzo was loudly afraid that the ship would crash. He seemed to be doing a masterful job of whatever it was that he was doing with the controls, though, so Rose had decided not to worry about it, as he was doing enough for the both of them.

She was too busy being concerned about the fact that her vision had gone the slightest bit blurry. She'd always had excellent eyesight, so she was pretty sure that this was a bad sign. The last time she'd glanced down at her stomach, there had been a tinge of red against the white, so either she was still bleeding or she was hallucinating.

She was fairly certain that neither of those were positive signs.

The last thing that she'd been able to help with was getting Astrid the power to teleport down to the Doctor – that was one good thing, at least. Alonzo was very talented at his job, so there was another thing.

There was the Doctor. Whatever he was doing down on Deck 31 would be done in order to save the rest of the people on this ship and to stop it from crashing into the Earth and hurting anyone there. And the Doctor was very good. If it was possible to save this ship, then he would.

There was a rumbling vibration just under their feet and she heard Alonzo say, with great frustration, “Now what?”

And then, right in front of their eyes, the Doctor burst up through the floor, two of the Host flanking him. Rose let her head fall back against the console she was sitting up against, and she laughed out loud. Her tension faded away, as if it had never been, and she looked straight at the Doctor, her smile so wide that it hurt her face.

His gaze was locked on hers, his return smile broad and relieved. He pulled himself the rest of the way out of the floor with a couple of quick, jerky motions.

“Everyone all right here?” he asked. Rose just smiled over at him, helplessly, and she heard Alonzo ask what was going on, great confusion in his voice. The Doctor pulled his concentration away from her and hurried over to the console one over from where she was and started quickly turning dials and flipping switches. “It's wonderful to see you again, Rose. Midshipman Frame! It's a pleasure. Now, let's get this ship back to where she belongs.”

He hopped over to another panel and made some changes to that system too – Rose couldn't tell what he was doing, but he seemed very certain that it would work. Rose levered herself up on the panel while the Doctor was busy doing all that. He would notice her injury soon enough, but she couldn't really afford to have him get distracted at this precise moment in time.

“You can't,” Alonzo protested, picking himself up out of the rubble and putting his hands on his hips. “There's no power. There's nothing we can do. The ship's gone.”

The Doctor chuckled as he made his way to the main wheel of the ship.

“Never say never, Alonzo,” Rose said, merrily. The Doctor let out a startled laugh and glanced over at Alonzo.

“You're not?” he asked in delight. Alonzo nodded, still looking pretty confused. “Well, allons-y, Alonzo!”

The Doctor turned the wheel sharply and the ship turned with him. Rose gripped tightly to the panel she'd attached herself to, wincing as her belly tightened with the movement. Not good, she thought, definitely not good.

But the Doctor was doing very well, she noticed as she looked over at him – his face was tight and tense as he steered the ship, but very determined. One of the consoles started beeping and she glanced down to notice that it said they were dipping into the danger zone of the atmosphere. Alonzo also seemed to have heard the beeping, because he started screaming as he held onto the ship with a death-grip.

The light in front of them turned red as they dipped into real air and parts of the ship started to burn up right in front of her eyes. It was actually quite beautiful. Then they were past that bit and she could actually see the Earth in front of them – she would almost swear that she could see England itself, but that was probably just arrogance. There was no reason to assume that the ship would hit in her country.

Except for, well... the Slitheen. And the Sycorax. And...

Well, maybe there were some reasons to assume that.

There was more buzzing and such going on, but Rose was starting to get pretty tired of standing up. The Doctor would probably just think that she was being smart if she went ahead and let herself slid down the console and lean against it as the ship hurtled downward.

She went ahead and did just that, smiling as she heard the Doctor's voice – he was probably saying something vitally important, she was sure, but it was taking all of her concentration to hold onto the bit of ship that she was leaning against, so she focused on that.

Then she couldn't help herself from sliding backward as the Doctor pulled back hard on the wheel. Her shoulders slammed up against the railing at the back of the bridge and she bit back on a yelp of pain. Alonzo had also been thrown back, but he was just about managing to hold himself upright.

Wind rushed past her and when she reached down to clasp at her stomach, it was wet again. But she wrapped her other arm around the railing behind her and held on, looking ahead at where the Doctor was, still yanking back on the controls, still saving the planet.

She was glad that she was here to see this.

And then... they were leveling out. He'd done it. Rose let out a shaky breath. He'd stabilized the ship and stopped their fall. She could see him turning the wheel again, freely and easily, and he laughed, that happy and relieved laughter of having survived yet another of their adventures.

Another moment, then he turned around, letting go of the wheel. They were safe, then, and Rose could relax. He was grinning and it was gorgeous.

Then his eyes dropped down and she could tell the exact moment that he saw the blood. His face paled, all of the laughter and joy that had been there moments ago gone as if he'd never felt them. She desperately wanted them back again.

“You're hurt,” he said and it wasn't like him to make such obvious comments, so Rose just smiled up at him. His face scrunched up a bit and he dropped to his knees next to her, his shaking fingers reaching out to touch her hand where it covered the bandage. “What happened?”

“The captain shot her,” Alonzo said. Rose shot him an indignant glare, but he refused to look shamed. “She said not to distract you with it, sir.”

The Doctor hadn't yet looked away from where his hand touched hers. “Taking care of you is never a distraction,” he said, softly. “If you're injured, Rose, I need to know. It needs to be part of my plans. How badly are you hurt? How long have you been bleeding?”

“Since before the meteoroids hit,” Alonzo offered. The Doctor's mouth tightened. He reached out and clicked his fingers and one of the Host pulled itself out of the hole in the deck.

“You are going to very carefully pick up this woman so that she is not injured further,” the Doctor said. He lifted his hand away from Rose's and stood up, not looking her in the eyes. “You are going to carry her down to Reception One and you are going to be very careful. Is that clear?”

“Information: she will be delivered with no further injury,” the Host said, but Rose couldn't help from flinching when it touched her.

“Doctor,” she said, wishing that she could do something to take away that horrible look on his face. “There were more important things to do than to worry about me.”

He looked at her now and she almost wished that he hadn't – his eyes were dark and cold. She'd never seen him look so old, not even... not even when she'd stopped him from shooting that Dalek, back with the first him. Not even when she'd held him after coming back.

“No,” he said, sharply. His hands moved in a hesitant gesture toward her, then he pulled them back, tightening his hands into fists. “Rose, there is nothing-”

He broke off and looked away. She tried to breath evenly. The Host gathered her up into its arms and, as promised, she didn't feel a thing. She wrapped her arms around its neck for some stability, but she kept staring at the Doctor as the Host took her away.

He was such a skinny man, this second Doctor of hers, but until this moment, she had never seen him look small.

Her journey down to Reception One was smooth and easy – it also gave her a chance to look down and see how much damage had been done since the last time she'd checked. She was definitely bleeding through, but she'd just had a pretty heavy shake-up since the last time. She might have already been starting to heal until their entrance into the atmosphere tightened up her skin.

By the time she got down there, the Doctor was already there, muttering as he puttered around with a control panel. He must have taken a quicker, but bumpier path down. He didn't look at her when she arrived, which was more than a little distressing.

“I'm coming right back,” he said to the older of the two blokes in the room with them. “I need to get Rose settled, but there's something else that I can do here.”

“Doctor, I'm not sure if it's the best idea,” the man said, looking fretful.

The Doctor just walked away from him and over to her. He snapped a bracelet around her wrist, one around the Host's wrist, and then one around his own.

“I've got these worked out to take us as close to the TARDIS as possible, but the Host will carry you right into the medical bay, where I'll take a look at that injury,” he said.

“Doctor,” Rose said, quietly.

“Mr. Copper, now would be good,” the Doctor said, turning his head toward the other man. A button was pushed over on the control panel and Rose found herself surrounded in blue as they teleported down to the planet.

They landed in a field covered in white – had it snowed while they'd been in the Titanic?

But the Doctor didn't give her any time to ask questions. He headed off at a quick pace and the Host followed behind him, too far away for her to be able to have a conversation with him – and now, she could see the TARDIS in the distance.

He opened the door with quick, sharp gestures and Rose wished that she had any clue what was going on in his head. She'd expected him to be upset, of course, but why wouldn't he talk to her or even look at her?

When they got to the main medical room, he briskly ordered the Host to lay her down on the table and then he nodded toward the Host, which turned about and left the room.

He took out a small device that she'd never seen before and placed it on the high counter next to the table, but he didn't turn to her right away. Instead, he leaned forward against the counter and she could hear him breathing.

“Doctor,” she tried again. His shoulders tightened up and her heart ached. “Doctor, I just wanted to-”

“If I had known-” he said, cutting her off. He turned his head – not enough to look at her, but she could see his profile now, every sharp feature. “If you'd mentioned that you were hurt, I wouldn't have-”

He stopped again and she heard him take a slow, deep breath.

“We don't have time for that right now,” he said, turning around to face her. His glance briefly touched her face, but not long enough for her to read his expression – he was soon intently looking down at her bandage. He reached forward and carefully pulled up the edges of the outermost covering. He slowly pulled off all the layers of protection and then his fingers were on her skin and she shivered. From her angle, she couldn't see what the wound looked like, but his lips were pursed tightly.

He reached underneath the table that she was lying on and held up a tiny, blindingly white cloth so that she could see it. “This is going to clean you up,” he said. He bent forward and wiped it against her stomach and she winced a little – it was cold and it stung the slightest bit. “It does some sterilization as well,” he added.

After he was done, he carelessly dropped the bit of cloth on the floor – as he was doing that, she noticed that it wasn't white anymore, but red and brown. Then he took the device off of the counter and pressed it down against her stomach. He twisted a dial at the end and she heard a light buzzing sound and felt an odd, twisting pressure.

“That removed the small bit of ammunition that was inside you,” he told her, his words clipped. “Next, I'm going to give you something that's going to help you heal all that damaged tissue. Unfortunately, it's going to take time for you to fully recover, because you had that thing in you for... for quite a while before I was able to help you.”

He pulled something else out from under the counter, but she didn't get a chance to look at it before he was pressing it hard against her stomach – she felt the pressure, but there was no pain.

“You said that you would be willing to be my equal,” the Doctor said, more softly. His hand was laying flat against her and his fingers tightened against her skin. “Why didn't you trust me, Rose?”

Rose blinked – he'd got it all wrong. So completely wrong.

“I didn't want you to worry,” she said, reaching down and wrapping her hand around his. He was colder than normal and very still. “There was nothing you could have done.”

“You don't know that,” the Doctor said. “Perhaps that's even...”

“What, Doctor?”

“Words aren't simply words, not for me,” he said. Rose braced herself against the implication. “I told you that you would be as my equal. That I wouldn't make your choices for you. And you aren't even willing to give me the information that I need to make my own. How can we be equals if you don't trust me?”

“But I do,” she said, clutching at his hand, trying to fight away the rush of panic that was sweeping over her. He had to know that she trusted him. How could he not? “Maybe... maybe I've picked up some bad habits from my time with Torchwood, but that doesn't mean that I don't trust you.”

He still wasn't looking at her but he hadn't pulled away.

“I wouldn't have abandoned them,” he said, quietly. A small, shocked breath escaped Rose. “You used to believe that I was a better man than that. Do I have to prove myself to you?”

“Doctor-”

“If that's what you need,” he continued, his voice tight but calm. “If you need me to show you that, then I will. But as long as you don't trust me, we can't be equals, Rose. You've placed me beneath you.”

“No. That's not what I meant,” she protested and he slid his hand out from under hers and unsnapped the teleportation bracelet and took it off her wrist.

“You're safe for the moment,” he said, slipping the bracelet into one of his pockets. “I have something that I need to do back on the ship and then we'll see if we can find Martha and her family. There's Christmas dinner, still.”

“Doctor,” Rose tried, again. He paused in the middle of turning away from her. She could see his lower lip tremble for a second before he firmed it up. “You can't walk away without letting me explain.”

“You didn't want to worry me,” he said, tonelessly. “Is that right or is what you told Midshipman Frame more accurate? I'm not-”

His voice had started to rise in pitch toward the end, when he cut himself off. He rested one hand against the table, still half-turned away from her.

“We'll talk about this more later,” he said, in a more even tone, though she could hear hints of strain underneath the surface. “But I don't have time right now – there's something that I need to do on the Titanic before the rescue crew from Sto arrives. I'm sorry, Rose, but I need to go now.”

He walked away and she didn't call out again.

We can't be equals.

Was he just stating a fact or making a declaration? Was that the way his people divorced? Had she just managed the shortest marriage in history?

After that one blisteringly pained glance, he hadn't looked her in the eyes after finding out that she'd been hurt. He'd been so far away from her and only moving farther. But he'd said that they would be able to talk later. He'd said that... that he was willing to do what he needed to do to prove that she could trust him.

How could she convince him that she already did?




Continue on to Part Nine.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-12 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] orelle-peredhil.livejournal.com
Oh no! And damn! I was so happy that they were finally back together and then - then - that. *flail* The Doctor had better let Rose explain, and he had better understand. and... and... they need to be happy again! Gah. Waiting with bated breath for the next installment!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 05:58 pm (UTC)
ext_1774: butterfly against blue background (Default)
From: [identity profile] butterfly.livejournal.com
Thanks for the feedback!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-12 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunnytyler001.livejournal.com
Oh come back, Doctor! You know she loves you, don't you?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 05:58 pm (UTC)
ext_1774: butterfly against blue background (Default)
From: [identity profile] butterfly.livejournal.com
Thanks for the feedback.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-12 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soupforlife.livejournal.com
ah the angst! Oh Doctor you are too quick to jump to conclusions!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 05:59 pm (UTC)
ext_1774: butterfly against blue background (Default)
From: [identity profile] butterfly.livejournal.com
He really is!

Thanks for the feedback.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-12 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinyopals.livejournal.com
Ooh, not good. I don't quite know whose side I'm on - the Doctor has got very single minded in the past about Rose so I can definitely see her point. But he did hold himself back earlier when he wanted to go after her. But this is different, she's actually hurt...

So yeah, definitely looking forward to the next bit. I want them to get a chance to sort things out. I can understand him being hurt, but they need to talk!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 06:00 pm (UTC)
ext_1774: butterfly against blue background (Default)
From: [identity profile] butterfly.livejournal.com
Thanks for the feedback.

They definitely do need to talk a couple of things out. Rose doesn't quite understand where the Doctor's head is at and there's some things that he doesn't get either.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 03:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mirageofmae.livejournal.com
ohhhhh, interesting development! =)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 05:59 pm (UTC)

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