butterfly | Pretty Gay Soap Opera Boys (Reply)

Because they make everything in the world better. No lie.

First, I am going to talk about the couple that Possibly Hasn't Had Sex Yet (Luke and Noah). So, Luke (Not That Luke) and Noah have only recently been announced to be treated like every other soap opera couple when it comes to kissing and physical affection, but they have always been treated equally when it comes to how crazy-ass their plot lines are. I have only had a passing familiarity with soaps -- in fact, all I really knew was that a character named Luke (Not This Luke) had raped a character named Laura, they had later married, and this was apparently a hugely popular romance among fans of the soap. As I found this the most squicky storyline I'd ever heard of, this made me not even think about watching soaps. But the news that there was gay kissing going on in a continuing storyline in possibly a different soap intrigued me and I watched Luke (Not That Luke) and Noah's storyline on YouTube and am now hopeless addicted.

So, this is how Luke and Noah went down (sadly, not like that): Luke's actor was introduced in 2005 as an older version of a character that had been on the show since his birth. He came out roughly a year later and his family learned to cope in time (and an attempt to send him to a re-education camp). A year after that, Noah was introduced. Noah had an Ex-Marine Father and a lot in common with Luke's best friend, a girl named Maddie. They are all interns together at a TV station called WOAK. I have no idea what this stands for. Maddie is dating a boy named Casey, who is in prison. He is probably Innocent in some way, but I don't think I saw enough of his plot to be certain. Maddie is Likable and Sweet.

Will and Gwen are married. Who are Will and Gwen, you may ask? I have no idea, but they are being stalked by a girl named Chloe who wants to Take Over Gwen's Life and Be With Will. Because Luke's cousin Jade has a thing for Will, they end up following Will and Gwen to warn them about Chloe and her crazy. At some point, Maddie and Noah end up in bed together (this is after he has run into his Ex-Marine Father who feels that he isn't a man and I suspect that Ex-Marine Father has always known that his son was kinda gay and has spent most of his life trying to military it out of him). They are confused. "What did we just do?" Noah asks her. "I... don't know," she replies. Neither of them seem satisfied with the sexual experience. Luke, looking for Will and Gwen, accidentally walks into the room and sees them naked. He's upset. It's really obvious that he's upset. This leads to Noah thinking that Luke has an interest in Maddie which leads to Luke confessing to Noah (in a parking lot) that he's really sure that he doesn't have a thing for Maddie because he is gay like a really gay thing.

This throws Noah but Noah is very firm on wanting to still be friends and not wanting things to be weird. This is a hopeless wish because Luke is totally interested in Noah (that way) and is very awkward about it at work. Eventually, Luke confesses to Noah that he like-likes him and Noah continues to say that it doesn't need to make things weird. Maddie confesses to a friend that her relationship with Noah feels like they're forcing things. Then, Luke and Noah share a moment after swimming and Noah freaks out, asking Maddie to find an apartment with him. Noah's Ex-Marine Father comes to town to freak everyone out.

Noah's Ex-Marine Father is a complete jerk to him until he meets Maddie and realizes that his son is dating a girl. Noah's Ex-Marine Father is creepily squeeful over this and gloms onto Maddie post-haste. He invites Noah and Maddie out to dinner with him, telling his son to go home to put a tie on.

Instead, Noah gets involved in work and forgets the time, only realizing that he is about to be late when Luke comes in and talks to him. Noah doesn't have enough time to go home and grab a tie, so Luke grabs one from wardrobe and helps him put it on. There is a moment of tension and then Noah kisses Luke. They pull away from each other and then start kissing again until Noah's phone rings and it is his Ex-Marine Father on the phone, pissed off that his son is making him (and Maddie) wait on dinner. I feel sorry for Maddie (note: throughout this entire storyline, Maddie is a sympathetic and understandable character).

Anyway, as a result of kissing Luke, Noah freaks out. He blames Luke for being too sexy to ignore (okay, he doesn't actually say that, but his actions are telling!) and tries very hard to convince Maddie that they should step their relationship up. He is desperate not to be gay because his father finally thinks of him as a Real Man(tm) for the first time in his life. He goes so far as to tell Luke that it's okay for Luke to be gay but not Noah. Luke rightly points out that that's a really silly thing to say.

Anyway, Stuff Happens. Maddie finds out and is Upset but Still Very Likable. Noah kisses Luke again and Noah's Ex-Marine Father sees. He pretends not to freak out, invites both the boys on a fishing trip and then tries repeatedly to kill Luke, finally managing to paralyse him with a fall. Noah's Ex-Marine Father goes to prison and Luke and Noah spend 211 days not kissing.

During this time, Maddie goes off to Wesleyan and Noah becomes Luke's official boyfriend. Then, an Iraqi girl named Ameera who knew Noah's Ex-Marine Father comes to him for help when she's about to be deported. She and Noah get married so that she can stay in the country. She tries to seduce Noah and we finally see Luke and Noah kiss again. And then some more. They even attempt to take the kissing to the bedroom so that they can change their official title, but before they do, the cops show up because...

*drumroll*

Noah's Ex-Marine Father escapes from jail and Ameera has gone off with him. He drugs her and Noah is certain that there is foul play afoot. He and Luke end up in New York chasing Ameera's trail. And that is the current status of Luke and Noah.

See? Crazy. But Luke and Noah's actors are actually really adorable together and I find their romantic chemistry believable and I'm really glad that they'll get to be kissing more often now.

Now, I will talk about the couple that Probably Having Sex As We Speak (Christian and Oliver). In some ways, the story of Christian and Oliver is similar to that of Luke and Noah -- you have an out guy and a guy who believes that he is straight, and then there's a coming out story that ends up with the two guys together. Apart from that, though, there's quite a few differences. For starters, Christian was firmly established on the show as having relationships with women -- he was with Coco when Oliver met him but before that, he'd been in a relationship with a girl named Nico (who was Coco's friend, actually). Oliver is the new person, but he actually also has a history on the show. He was on the show five years ago where he had one girlfriend and a couple of relationships with guys before the actor left to go do another show. So, he had relationships in place with characters already on the show -- his cousin Olivia and his aunt Charlie most importantly (the gay character he'd had a relationship with previously has left the show by this point).

Anyway, Oliver returns from a five-year stint working on a cruise ship and is immediately taken back into the fold. He's a very adorable, very flirty and open character. Quite likable. At this point, Christian is very focused on his relationship with his girlfriend Coco, which appears to be fairly high-stress, especially after Oliver's cousin Olivia burns down her place of business which also happened to be the place Coco worked.

Christian believes that Oliver is straight and when he comes home to the apartment one day, he is very surprised to see Oliver half-naked on the couch with Timo (a trainer at the local gym). He freaks out (Christian freaks out a lot). He freaks out so much that his brother, Gregor, and Coco both give him "dude, being gay is not that big a deal" lectures. Eventually, he calms down enough to stop acting like an idiot, especially after a large group of them go to a cabin and he and Oliver bond a bit and this is the point where Oliver starts to fall in love with Christian.

Christian and Coco are still having relationship problems throughout this time and, once, when Oliver was comforting Coco about a fight she and Christian had had, they end up kissing. This causes much grief. Eventually Christian finds out the truth and Oliver confronts him about it, trying to apologise and explain that he doesn't like Coco that way. Christian is not convinced, and Oliver ends up kissing him to show him why he's not after Coco. Christian freaks out a bit and Oliver eventually has to go, "Dude, I know that you're straight, I just wanted to show you why I'm not interested in Coco." Christian remains freaked out and can't get the kiss out of his head (in reality, it was very short and Christian didn't respond, but in Christian's dream about it later, he kisses Oliver back).

He tries to make plans to go away with Coco but when he overhears Oliver whining to Olivia about not wanting him to go, he tells Coco that she should go by herself, despite the trip being his idea in the first place. Eventually, the kiss between Christian and Oliver comes out and Coco flat-out asks Christian if he's gay. Christian doesn't answer, which she takes as answer enough.

She decides that she should go on that trip by herself and leaves Christian a letter about how the thing she loves most about him is his honesty. This viewer suspects she means this as A Hint. Christian thrashes about in denial for a while before joining a gay male chatroom. Because this is a soap, the person he ends up talking to is Oliver and they spend a while trying to give each other advice. Eventually, the truth about this comes out and Christian kisses Oliver and they have sex (we see Christian unzip Oliver's jacket and then it cuts to them naked in bed together afterwards).

Christian (say it with me) freaks out and throws himself firmly back into denial. He tells Oliver that their experience together was a one-time only thing and it just proved that he's straight. It is obvious to everyone watching the show that Christian is a Lying Liar Who Lies, especially since he has dreams about kissing Oliver in public.

So, Christian goes out with this girl from work in an attempt to look straight. Oliver happens to be at the same club, dancing with a guy. Christian hears the guy talking about wanting Oliver's ass and goes all protective!jealousy on us. He leaves the club and then goes up to his room with 'a headache', much to the girl's disappointment. Oliver follows him and tells Christian and he's in love with him. After a while, Christian unlocks the door to his room and tells Oliver that he's been trying to fight it, but he's in love with Oliver, too. They have sex again, but this time, instead of an angsty denial afterwards, there is playful "let's do this some more" banter between them.

However, Christian is very nervous about the notion of his brother knowing that he's gay (yes, the same brother from above -- but he's changed a lot since he discovered that his wife cheated on him with her brother, so Christian has a tiny amount of cause to be worried), so it's currently the Worst Kept Secret Ever. They give each other lots of adoring looks in public and both of them are extremely giddy and happy and do things like have sex at the boxing club after hours. If everyone else on this show (read: Gregor) weren't embroiled in problems far more traditionally soap operatic and stressful, it would be easy to think that they were all morons.

Currently, Christian has signed a boxing contract, so he's staying in the closet because his signer was very homophobic (but he's not happy about it -- he wanted to come out until Oliver convinced him not to). Also, now that they are together, they are the Most Sensible Soap Opera Couple Ever, as they actually talk out their problems instead of letting things fester.