Dexter: Sibling relationship squee

[butterfly]

I adore the Deb & Dexter relationship. The moment in the S1 finale, where he looks at Deb on the table and says, "I can't. Not Deb. I'm very... fond of her," manages to make the word 'fond', which I normally consider fairly lukewarm, feel bigger than any number of 'I love you's.

Deb and Dexter are foster siblings, thus not biologically-related but... I don't ship them at all. In fact, they fill me with a pure sibling-type love that is completely absent of any 'cestous vibes for me, unlike many sibling pairs that are related (amusingly enough, Dexter and Rudy/Brian (hereafter 'Brian') did strike me as a bit slashy).

Brian forces Dexter to choose between Brian (and everything he represents) and Deb (and everything she represents), emphasizing that he is Dexter's 'real' sibling and Deb is just a 'foster' sibling. But foster is not a synonym for fake. Dexter spent only a few brief years as Brian's younger brother, but has spent decades as Deb's older brother -- in the pilot, he says, "I don't have feelings, but if I had them for anyone, I'd have them for [Deb]." She's his baby sister and, foster or not, that's real.

Some things are stronger than blood.

When he finds out that Deb is in the hands of the Ice Truck Killer, we get to see Dexter react in a way that reminded me of the times when Dean has lost track of Sam (on Supernatural) -- pure blind big brother panic. He rips his apartment to shreds looking for a clue to where she's been taken. His entire focus is on finding her (he takes command of the crime scene at the Ice Truck Killer's house). When he finally does track down their location, he has a flashback of his mom and realizes that the Ice Truck Killer is his older brother Brian... and as soon as he begins to adjust to these world-shaking revelations, he heads into the house calling Deb's name (surprising the hell out of Brian).

He picks Deb (he derides himself for his decision in the S2 opener, pointing out that he picked the person he has to spend the rest of his life lying to over the one person he could have been fully honest with... but he also invites Deb to stay in his apartment and reaffirms his connection with her over his connection with the memory of Brian at the end of the two-parter) over Brian. Not only that, he deliberately sets a trap for Brian so that he can eliminate the threat Brian poses to Deb's life (and if Brian weren't a threat to Deb's life, then the trap wouldn't work and Brian would live -- it was also part threat-assessment).

And on the other (Deb's) side, I love that her focus and her pain in "Seeing Red" is centered on Dexter sharing something with Brian that he hadn't shared with her, not on her boyfriend preferring to spend time with her brother. Her relationship with her brother doesn't take second-place to her relationship with Brian. I love that she's always calling him 'brother', reaffirming their relationship (and that he, less frequently, will return the favor and call her 'sister').

I just love them, period.

Also, I need to find a Dexter icon.

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Totally agree on loving Dex/Deb. And I like the way that frankly, even the 'real" relationship with Brian isn't based on their blood relation either, but more on their shared experience and both being, for lack of a better word, monsters. But still Dexter's relationship with Deb is more complicated and real and sibling-like. They share plenty of things too with their issues about Harry etc.

And I like that essentially he's chosen the more challenging relationship over sameness because sameness in itself doesn't make it better. So I feel just as conflicted about it as Dexter, because he did give up the one person he didn't have to lie to, and yet I don't feel he chose wrongly.

[daegaer.livejournal.com]

Yay, Dexter&Debbie! I love them so much (so much I got the dvds and actually watched the entire season, which is a big deal for me). Have you read the novels? I got the first one and was sorely disappointed - novel!Dexter is nowhere near as charming, funny and self-perceptive as TV!Dexter, and there's a lot of unsavoury description of Deb's "lush" body, blech. (There's also a general sexist tone in describing the female characters and their careers, I thought).