Justin's a romantic sap.
Jan. 1st, 2002 06:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyWherein I sorta return to my 'someone thinking' roots of writing. Title inspired by Moulin Rouge.
Every Breath
I can pinpoint the precise instant that I realized that I was in love with you.
It was two months, six days, 4 hours and 11 minutes after the first time that I seriously kissed you. I hadn't expected that New Year's kiss to turn into so much more, but right now, I don't see how I was so blind. Looking back, it seems obvious that I was falling for you, but at the time, I was completely clueless.
The night wouldn't have been anything special, if it weren't for the fact that I hadn't been able to get sleep. I was just curled up in my bed, watching the clock's numbers change.
I knew that something was missing and at 4:11 in the morning, I realized what it was.
The sound of your breath.
The night before had been one where we'd kissed and touched. For the first time, we'd fallen asleep together in the same bed, so close that we were almost breathing each others' breath, your hand tangled in my curls and my leg draped over your body.
The next night, I couldn't get to sleep because you weren't there next to me.
I know that you were surprised when I phoned you that night and asked you to just talk to me, but I knew that my need was real when your soft sleepily-accented murmurs put me to sleep.
Once I knew that I loved you, I thought that it would make everything easy. I mean, that's what love's supposed to do: Overcome all obstacles. Obviously, I was being naive. The first problem, telling you how I felt, was the easiest. Telling the guys was almost as easy.
It was when the rest of the world got involved that things got confused. Just our parents, Britney, and Johnny all had so many objections. Coming out publically was out of the question, that much they made sure to drill into me. It might be all right for one of us to come out, but not two and certainly not together. And if we did decide for one of us to come out, it would have to be Lance, never the golden boy, the one that all the girls fawn over.
Considering the recent surge in your popularity, that's almost amusing now.
Of course, you refused to come out unless you could say that you had a boyfriend. Which Johnny had immediately veto'd.
We can wait. Wait until this whole thing is over, or wait until the world is more accepting. We'll last. I know that much.
It's been over two years and I still miss the sound of your breath when I sleep alone. I'm still restless at night when I'm forced to be away from you.
Seeing you smile still lights up my heart faster than anything else in the world.
And it always will.
Every Breath
I can pinpoint the precise instant that I realized that I was in love with you.
It was two months, six days, 4 hours and 11 minutes after the first time that I seriously kissed you. I hadn't expected that New Year's kiss to turn into so much more, but right now, I don't see how I was so blind. Looking back, it seems obvious that I was falling for you, but at the time, I was completely clueless.
The night wouldn't have been anything special, if it weren't for the fact that I hadn't been able to get sleep. I was just curled up in my bed, watching the clock's numbers change.
I knew that something was missing and at 4:11 in the morning, I realized what it was.
The sound of your breath.
The night before had been one where we'd kissed and touched. For the first time, we'd fallen asleep together in the same bed, so close that we were almost breathing each others' breath, your hand tangled in my curls and my leg draped over your body.
The next night, I couldn't get to sleep because you weren't there next to me.
I know that you were surprised when I phoned you that night and asked you to just talk to me, but I knew that my need was real when your soft sleepily-accented murmurs put me to sleep.
Once I knew that I loved you, I thought that it would make everything easy. I mean, that's what love's supposed to do: Overcome all obstacles. Obviously, I was being naive. The first problem, telling you how I felt, was the easiest. Telling the guys was almost as easy.
It was when the rest of the world got involved that things got confused. Just our parents, Britney, and Johnny all had so many objections. Coming out publically was out of the question, that much they made sure to drill into me. It might be all right for one of us to come out, but not two and certainly not together. And if we did decide for one of us to come out, it would have to be Lance, never the golden boy, the one that all the girls fawn over.
Considering the recent surge in your popularity, that's almost amusing now.
Of course, you refused to come out unless you could say that you had a boyfriend. Which Johnny had immediately veto'd.
We can wait. Wait until this whole thing is over, or wait until the world is more accepting. We'll last. I know that much.
It's been over two years and I still miss the sound of your breath when I sleep alone. I'm still restless at night when I'm forced to be away from you.
Seeing you smile still lights up my heart faster than anything else in the world.
And it always will.